Col. Stuart Quotes in Die Hard 2 (1990)

Samantha Coleman: Colonel Stuart, can I have a few words, please?

Col. Stuart: You can have two: "fuck" and "you".

Garber: [grabbing the TV Camera] No pictures, you pinko bitch!

[Stuart has had Thompson recalibrate the ILS landing system]

Col. Stuart: [adapting a slight disguise to his voice] Windsor Flight 1-1-4, this is Dulles Approach. Do you copy?

Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Dulles Approach, this is Windsor 1-1-4. Where the devil have you been?

Col. Stuart: Roger, 1-1-4, Dulles Approach. We've been right here all along, old man. Our systems only came back online just this very second. Windsor 1-1-4, you are cleared for ILS approach to Runway Two-Niner. Contact Dulles Tower frequency at the outer marker.

[On the Skywalk, McClane runs over to the windows]

John McClane: Jesus Christ, he's gonna crash the fucking plane!

Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Roger, Approach, it's about time. I've got 230 people up here flying on petrol fumes.

Col. Stuart: Roger, 1-1-4, understand. Calibrate Dulles Altimeter setting Two-Niner-Niner-Two.

John McClane: Why are they listening to him?

Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: It's our frequency! Why shouldn't they?

[On the plane, the captain speaks into the intercom]

Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Ladies and gentlemen, as you've probably noticed, we've started our descent. We're sorry for the inconvenience but we'll all be on the ground in a few minutes.

[the passengers applaud and stewardesses start moving through the cabin doing a seatbelt check]

Stewardess (Windsor Flight 114): [to one passenger] Oh not to worry, we've made arrangements for your next flight so you won't miss it.

[to a straggler]

Stewardess (Windsor Flight 114): In your seat, please. Come on, in your seat.

[kneels next to an anxious old woman]

Stewardess (Windsor Flight 114): Oh, hey. We're just like British Rail, luv: we may be late but we get you there.

[On the Skywalk, Barnes uses a painter's uniform to lower McClane down to the tarmac]

Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: Good luck, McClane!

[McClane grabs two pipes and a lighter and heads for the runway. When he gets over there, he puts small pieces of fabric from the uniform onto the ends of the pipes and lights them. On the plane, the outer marker light comes on]

Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Dulles, this is Windsor 1-1-4 inside the outer marker.

[Stuart begins communicating with them again, this time using his own voice]

Col. Stuart: Roger one-fourteen. This is Dulles Tower. We have radar contact and show you on ILS. You're in the glide path and looking good.

[McClane starts waving his improvised torches, as the pilots start landing procedures]

Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Approach flaps.

[the co-pilot presses the button to deploy the flaps]

Co-Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Approach flaps.

Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Approach speed 130.

[the co-pilot copies him]

Co-Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Approach speed 130. Altitude 1,000 feet.

[a few seconds later]

Co-Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Ref speed +20. 600 feet.

Col. Stuart: Looking good Windsor. Now watch it - 30 knot crosswinds and the runway is icy. Attaboy, we've got ya. We've got ya...

[McClane waves his torches more aggressively as the plane flies over his head]

John McClane: Pull up!

[the pilots come out of the fog and suddenly see the runway right underneath them]

Pilot (Windsor Flight 114), Co-Pilot (Windsor Flight 114): Jesus!

[the plane hits the ground with a slight bank to the right, causing the landing gear to collapse. As the belly of the plane skids down the runway, sparks ignite the ruptured fuel tanks, which explode. McClane dives to the ground. The pilots' screams are audible on Stuart's systems]

Col. Stuart: We've got ya.

[a fireball engulfs the plane as burning debris hurtles down the runway. As the debris settles, McClane gets to his feet]

John McClane: Motherfucker!

[Dead silence in the church; Stuart picks up the phone]

Col. Stuart: That concludes our object lesson for this evening. If the 747 we requested is ready on time and General Esperanza's plane arrives unmolested, further lessons can be avoided. Out.

Col. Stuart: Happy landings, asshole.

Col. Stuart: [after McClane's snowmobile explodes] So much for the element of chance!

Col. Stuart: [after triggering an airplane crash; into the radio] That concludes our object lesson for this evening. If the 747 we requested is ready on time and General Esperanza's plane arrives unmolested, further lessons can be avoided. Out.

Soldier: Hey Telford! What was *your* chicken-shit outfit doing while we were taking Grenada?

[He and his comrades burst out laughing]

Maj. Grant: Grenada. Five minutes of firefights, five weeks of surfing!

Cpl. Telford: I wish I was with you guys for that!

Maj. Grant: Yeah. Me too, kid.

Cpl. Telford: Really, sir?

Maj. Grant: Sure. Or we wouldn't have to do this.

[Grant promptly pulls out a knife and slits Telford's throat. Telford gasps and then falls over, dead. Grant pulls out a radio and punches in the three digit descrambler code]

Maj. Grant: Eagle Nest, this is Hatchling. We're on schedule, and in position.

[cuts to Colonel Stuart on the other end]

Col. Stuart: Roger, Hatchling. We are secure here. You have a green light, I repeat, a *green* light.

[Esperanza's plane has appeared; Stuart impersonates the control tower to talk to the plane]

Col. Stuart: Dulles Tower, Foxtrot Michael One. Dulles Tower, Foxtrot Michael One.

Pilot (Foreign Military Plane): This is Foxtrot Michael One, Dulles. We read you, over.

Col. Stuart: Foxtrot Michael One, you are to come in on Runway 1-5. I repeat: 1-5.

[In the back of the plane, Esperanza strangles and kills his guard; cuts to McClane and Marvin in the basement]

Marvin: [about the radio he lifted from one of Stuart's henchmen] I found it on the floor next to the luggage belt. What the hell are you so excited about?

John McClane: The code's still punched into this one.

Marvin: You like it, huh? How 'bout you give me twenty bucks for it.

John McClane: How 'bout I let you live?

Marvin: Man knows how to barter.

[Cuts back to the pilots of Esperanza's plane]

Pilot (Foreign Military Plane): This is contrary to our instructions. We are to land at Runway 1-0, where we are to be met by representatives of your Justice Dep...

[He is interrupted by the sound of someone cocking a pistol, and turns around to see Esperanza pointing a gun at his head]

Gen. Ramon Esperanza: Captain, please tell the tower you will proceed as ordered.

[the pilot looks at his co-pilot, then back at Esperanza, then finally speaks into his headset]

Pilot (Foreign Military Plane): Roger, Dulles. Proceeding to Runway 1-5.

[the co-pilot immediately grabs for the gun. As he struggles with Esperanza, he is shot in the chest, while another errant shot goes through the cockpit window; the resulting noise startles Stuart in the church and Trudeau in the control tower]

Col. Stuart: Foxtrot Michael One, come in please.

[In the plane, Esperanza trains his gun on the pilot again]

Pilot (Foreign Military Plane): What are you gonna do now? You gonna shoot me? Then who would fly the plane?

Gen. Ramon Esperanza: [smiles] Don't worry about it. It's not your problem.

[He shoots and kills the pilot, then takes the pilot's seat. He pulls out a radio transceiver and presses the descrambler code]

Gen. Ramon Esperanza: Eagle Nest, this is Falcon, Mayday. Eagle Nest, this is Falcon, mayday.

[Hearing Esperanza communicating over the radio instead of over the tower frequency, Garber hands Stuart a radio]

Col. Stuart: Go ahead, Falcon.

Gen. Ramon Esperanza: I've lost cabin pressure. Near zero visibility. I must get out of the storm, and land now, on the first accessible runway.

[McClane leaves the payphones, and nearly collides with Colonel Stuart]

Col. Stuart: Excuse me.

[Stuart stares coldly at McClane]

John McClane: Oh you look very familiar to me.

Col. Stuart: [hesitates] I get that a lot. I've been on TV.

John McClane: Yeah. You, too.

[They head on their separate ways, though Stuart takes a second look at McClane as he disappears into the crowd]