Coach Norton Quotes in Saving Silverman (2001)

Coach Norton: Remember, boys! STAY AWAY from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!

[shows his right hand]

Coach Norton: By the way, did you boys take care of that bitch that was gonna marry Silverman?

Wayne: Uh, yeah. Yeah, we snuffed that broad just like ya said.

Coach Norton: Good. How'd ya do it?

Wayne: We, um...

J.D.: Ate her...

Coach Norton: You ate her?

Wayne: Yeah, we ate her.

J.D.: Alive.

Coach Norton: My hat goes off to you. You boys are smart; that's the perfect crime.

Coach Norton: When are you going to get hitched there, son?

J.D.: Actually I'm not, I'm GAY.

Coach Norton: Oh... me too!

Wayne: So, Coach, how's your parole coming?

Coach Norton: Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining

J.D.: God! What is their PROBLEM?

Coach Norton: [Watches a live feed of Judith locked up in the garage on the TV] What the hell we got here? Some kind of public access show or something?

Wayne: [Nervously] Yeah.

Coach Norton: Wait a minute, that's the kidnap victim, ain't it? You didn't kill her.

Wayne: No, coach.

Coach Norton: I'm real disappointing in you boys. Now I want you to go out there and off that cooze.

Wayne: We can't, coach.

Coach Norton: [Notices Judith untying herself from the chair] FOR PETE'S SAKE! She's getting out! Go chop her head off or something!

Coach Norton: [J.D. and Wayne don't budge] There's no fight left in you! You're nutless! You've been pussified! Don't worry about a thing boys I'll take care of that broad.

Coach Norton: What is it that I always said?

J.D., Wayne: If you can dream it, you can do it.

Coach Norton: Exactly! You have the dream. All you need to do is turn it into reality.

Coach Norton: So when are you getting hitched?

J.D.: Actually, I'm not. I'm gay.

Coach Norton: Me too.