Coach Morris Buttermaker Quotes in The Bad News Bears (1976)

[after the Bears lose 18-0]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Come on, fellas. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Ogilvie: Yeah, it took several hundred years.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Those boys aren't very rough. You won't get hurt.

Amanda Whurlitzer: That's got nothing to do with it. I'm almost 12 and I'll... I'll be getting a bra soon.

[Buttermaker stares. Amanda looks at her chest]

Amanda Whurlitzer: Well, maybe in a year or so. I can't be playing all dumb baseball.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: This quitting thing, it's a hard habit to break once you start.

Engelberg: You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: So is murder, Engleberg. Now put that back before you get me in real trouble.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [looks at Tanner's black eye] What the hell happened to you, Tanner?

Engelberg: Tanner got into a fight

[because of the first game loss]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Who with?

Engelberg: The 7th Grade.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: What?

Engelberg: [shouts] The 7th Grade.

Engelberg: [helping Buttermaker clean pools] When we're through, can we go swimming?

Coach Morris Buttermaker: No! Don't jump in Engleberg, you'll flood the valley.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: What if he tries something?

Amanda Whurlitzer: I'll handle it.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Rolling Stones, 11 years old.

Amanda Whurlitzer: I know an 11-year-old girl who is already on the pill.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Don't ever say that word again.

Amanda Whurlitzer: Jesus! Just who in the heck you think you are?

Coach Morris Buttermaker: The goddamned manager, that's who!

Amanda Whurlitzer: Big wow!

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [handing out cups and supporters to the boys] There is one thing I forgot to tell you guys. It's a league rule: cups and supporters.

[everyone complains]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Gotta be worn at all times.

[more complaints]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Either you wear 'em or you don't wear 'em and you don't play.

Jose Agilar: ¡Yo no me voy a poner esto! ¡Esto duele!

[Throws his back in the box]

Jose Agilar: ["I'm not going to wear this! It hurts!"]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: What? What are you saying?

Ogilvie: I've been brushing up on my Spanish of late, and I think he is saying something about, you know, his being Catholic, and it's a sin.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Oh, for Christ's sake.

[hands it back to Jose]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Listen, Lupus, you didn't come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Well, your mother and I didn't got along too well, Amanda. I liked her very much, though. I still do. As a matter of fact I'm just not the marrying kind. But I guess I handled it badly, huh?

Amanda Whurlitzer: You handled it like shit!

Amanda Whurlitzer: Hey, Buttermaker! Maybe next spring you'll teach me how to hit.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: You bet.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Now get back to the stands before I shave off half your mustache and shove it up your left nostril.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [leading team chant] A busted bat and a long fly ball...

Bad News Bears: Any day now, Durocher will call!

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [after team takes vote to quit the league] Do you want to quit, Tanner?

Tanner Boyle: Crud, No! I want to play ball!

Jimmy Feldman: [team riding in Buttermaker's car to practice] If you were so great, how come you never made it to the major leagues?

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Contract disputes.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [at batting practice] Hey, Ahmad - even Hank Aaron peels the ol' eyelids before he takes a swing!

Coach Morris Buttermaker: All I know is when we win a game, it's a team win. When we lose a game, it's a team loss.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Hey, can't you hold off of that until after practice?

Engelberg: There's energy in chocolate. I need energy.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [trying to console Ahmad after his errors in the first loss] There was nothing easy about those fly balls, Ahmad. They were tough chances! The sun was in your eyes!

Ahmad Abdul Rahim: Don't give me none of your honky bullshit, Buttermaker. I know they were easy.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Let's not bring race into this, Ahmad. We got enough problems as it is.

[hitting batting practice]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [yells to infield] All right, look alive! Let's get one out there!

[to Engleberg]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Are you ready?

[Buttermaker bunts in front of the plate]

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Engleberg?

Engelberg: [exasperated] What?

Coach Morris Buttermaker: That is a bunt - B-U-N-T. The catcher is supposed to pick up the bunt and throw it to first base.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Well, how was I supposed to know? You made such a big deal yelling out to them.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [sighs] Diversionary tactic, Engleberg. Now get the ball...

P.A. Announcer: [announcing Mets batter] Carl Paranski, Number 6...

Coach Morris Buttermaker: [yelling to Bears fielders] The cool Carl Paranski shift!

Engelberg: [Takes half-empty pint of whiskey from Buttermaker's glove box and holds it up] You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: So is murder, Engelberg. Now put it back before you get me into real trouble.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Now, guys, somebody's gonna pay for this windshield. And I think, Engelberg, it's gonna be your father.

Engelberg: Bullshit.

Coach Morris Buttermaker: First base, second base, third base, home!

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Jumping catfish! What a great arm! Who is that kid, anyway?

Toby Whitewood: Of course he's got a great arm, Buttermaker. He's the best athlete in the area. But you don't understand, that's Kelly Leak.

Ahmad Abdul Rahim: You guys talking about Kelly Leak?

Coach Morris Buttermaker: Yeah.

Ahmad Abdul Rahim: That dude is a bad mother. You talk about a loan shark. I borrowed a nickel from him last week. He said if I didn't give him a dime by Friday, he'd break my arm.

Miguel Agilar: Es un bandido.