Coach Mickey Morrison Quotes in Just One of the Guys (1985)

[Coach Morrison yells at the gym class for whoever started the fire, before seeing Sherpico's horned lizard]

Coach Mickey Morrison: We have a saboteur in our gym class. A real scum! A nimrod! Whoever started that fire... is a human gutterball! A zero! Sherpico, how many times have I told you no creatures in my gym class.

Reptile: I couldn't help it, coach. If I left him in the locker the alligators would eat him.

Coach Mickey Morrison: You get rid of him, or I'll get rid of him.

[Terry meets the gym teacher Coach Morrison]

Terry: [as Terry comments on his bowling shirt] Bowling, uh, great game.

Coach Mickey Morrison: The greatest. But it's more than a game, it's the ultimate challenge. One man, one ball, 10 pins.

Terry: 10 frames, too.

Coach Mickey Morrison: Exactly!

Terry: Uh, you see coach, um, I just transferred here from another school, so I don't have my gym clothes yet, so I guess I'll just go to Study Hall.

Coach Mickey Morrison: Hold it! Everyone dresses for my Gym class. Everyone.

Terry: Great.

Coach Mickey Morrison: [the Coach holds up a jock strap to Terry] I have surprise jock inspections three times a week. A word to the wise... wear it.

[Terry fakes a stomach pain to get out of gym class]

Coach Mickey Morrison: [Terry groans from the ground] Got a problem, son?

Terry: Oh, stomach, shooting pains. I ate in the cafeteria.

Coach Mickey Morrison: Come on! Tough it out! When life rolls you a 7-10 split, what do you do?

Terry: Go to the nurse?

Coach Mickey Morrison: No! Hell, no! You aim for that 7 pin, and let it rip!

[Terry cries louder on the floor of the gym]

[Terry gives Coach Morrison a doctor's note to skip gym for two weeks]

Coach Mickey Morrison: Severe intestinal disorder? What's the matter? You have a little tummy ache? What are you, a pussy?

Terry: [Terry pauses trying not to smile, before responding] Uh... My doctor said that I should be okay by a week from Monday. So, I guess I'll just go to Study Hall.

Coach Mickey Morrison: No, you won't. I have a little job for you, son.

[the scene cuts to Terry handing out towels in the boys' locker room]