Clyde Quotes in The Pink Jungle (1968)

Ben Morris: You're not holding us here because you still think I'm a CIA agent?

Coronel Celaya: Ha-ha-ha! I'm sorry, no. That was an error in judgment. I'm afraid I must apologize.

Ben Morris: Well, it's about time.

Coronel Celaya: Ha! To the CIA. It is - it is gratifying to know that they are not yet scraping the bottom of the barrel. Ha-ha-ha! Ha!

[Celaya leaves, then Morris strolls off alone, and produces a radio]

Ben Morris: This is Seven Dash Seven, reporting. Are you there, Clyde?

Clyde: Roger.

Ben Morris: Operation Pink Jungle is concluded. You can scratch Ortega. The revolution has been postponed. Oh, by the way, there's a - a nut named Ryderbeit flying out of here right now on a chopper. Let him go, will ya? I could've never pulled it off without him.

Clyde: I'll send a plane.

Ben Morris: Uh, no. No, don't send a plane. Uh, Colonel Celaya might get suspicious. I may want to use this same cover story another time.

Clyde: Question, Ralph. We've been asking you to Bad-Anon for years now, and tonight you finally show up. Why is that?

Wreck-It Ralph: I dunno, I just felt like coming. I mean, I suppose it has something to do with the fact that uh... well, today's the 30th anniversary of my game.

Saitine: Happy anniversary, Ralph.

Wreck-It Ralph: Thanks Satan.

Saitine: Uh, it's "Saitine".

Wreck-It Ralph: Got it. But here's the thing... I don't wanna be the bad guy anymore.

[the Bad-Anon members gasp]

Cyborg: You can't mess with the program, Ralph!

M. Bison: You're not going Turbo, are you?

Wreck-It Ralph: Turbo? No, I'm not going Turbo! Common guys! Is it "Turbo" to want a friend? Or a medal? Or a piece of pie every once and awhile? Is it "Turbo" to want more out of life?

Zombie: Yes.

Clyde: Ralph, Ralph, we get it. But we can't change who we are. The sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be.

Zangief: Hey, one game at a time, Ralph.

Clyde: Now let's close out the with Bad Guy affirmation.

Clyde, Saitine, Cyborg, M. Bison, Zombie, Zangief, Bad-Anon Members: I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be then me.

Wreck-It Ralph: Sometimes I think, man, it sure must be nice being the good guy.

[Bad-Anon members applaud]

Clyde: Nice share, Ralph. We've all felt what you're feeling and we've come to terms with it.

Wreck-It Ralph: Really?

Zangief: Right here. I'm Zangief, I'm bad guy.

Bad-Anon Members: Hi Zangief.

Zangief: I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit bottom, I was crushing man's skull like sparrow's egg, between my thighs... and I think, why you have to be so bad, Zangief? Why can't you be more like good guy? Then I have moment of clarity... if Zangief is good guy, who will crush man's skull like sparrow's eggs between thighs? And I say, Zangief you are bad guy, but this does not mean you are *bad* guy.

[Bad-Anon members agree]

Wreck-It Ralph: Right... I'm sorry, you lost me there.

Zombie: Zombie! Bad guy!

Wreck-It Ralph, Bad-Anon Members: Hi Zombie.

Zombie: Zangief saying labels not make you happy. Good, bad, nggghhhh... you must love you.

Cyborg: Yeah!

[Performs a Heart-rip Fatality on Zombie]

Cyborg: Inside here!

Clyde: And you're wearing a dress?

Gena: No, actually it's a t-shirt.

Clyde: well, it's good to see you're still fighting the good fight against the tyranny of pants.

Gena: [to cab driver] Sir? Sir! I will suck your dick if you get us there in two minutes.

Clyde: Look, I think we might be meant for each other. And I'm not kidding.

Gena: Scratch that. This guy will suck your dick.

Gena: You're seriously making pancakes right now?

Clyde: I am. Yours has a sad face made out of chocolate chips, because the world is an asshole and it's gonna get you.

Dale: You know how there are, like, serial killers, and then there's Hannibal Lecter?

Trevor: Yeah?

Clyde: There are girls, and then there's Regan.

Clyde: [from Taransky's film "Eternity Forever] Veronica.

Simone: What you don't understand, Clyde... is that love... is like a wildflower. But that flower only grows on the edge... of a very... high... cliff.

Clyde: Where do you think you're going?

Fred Claus: Delivering presents.

Clyde: No you're not! Santa is the only one who can deliver the presents!

Willie: No, only a Claus can deliver the presents, and that is a Claus.

[Fred is about to launch the sleigh, Clyde blocks it]

Fred Claus: If you don't get out of my way in three seconds, you're going to make me the happiest guy at the North Pole.

Clyde: You haven't got the *guts*!

[three seconds later, Clyde gets run down by the sleigh]

Clyde: You're all fired, in the morning you'll all be on a bus back to Elfistan!

Governor Tracy: Now you'll have to tell me your name so I know who to make the check out to.

Clyde: My best friends call me Cash.

Clyde: The girl wants to be my friend. But honestly, who wants to be friends with a girl?

George: [yelling over the truth of why the kids really brought George to the lake] You're a fuckin' lying son of a bitch, Sam! All right? And I hope you fuckin' go to hell.

Millie: Don't make things worse, George...

George: Shut the fuck up, Millie, you fucking stupid JAP cunt.

Clyde: Sit down, George, you're out of control.

George: Shut the fuck up, Clyde! You faggot! Fucking skinny butt-munching faggot. I hate you! You know that? I really do. 'Cause all you do is fuckin' prance around school talkin' about your fuckin' faggoty fairy fathers. I'll tell you what! I don't wanna hear about your fuckin' fathers and how their assholes work, all right? It makes me sick! And I - I - I fuckin' hope they fuckin' die of fag disease! Yeah.

[pause]

George: And, and speaking of... dead... fathers... I just remembered why bonehead white-trash fuckin' donkey-dick Marty got so fuckin' freaked when I started talkin' about his "daddy." His Neanderthal, drunk dad put a gun in his mouth and splattered his brains all over the wall.

[pause]

George: You know, I almost forgot that my mom told me that. She said, "His daddy splattered his brains all over the wall." I thought it was sad at first, but now? I like it.

[chanting]

George: His daddy splattered his brains. All over the wall. His daddy splattered his brains. All over the wall!...

George: [George takes a bite of the sandwich] Hmmm. Yum. Did you make these yourself? You'll, you'll have to give me the recipe some time.

Clyde: It's peanut butter and jelly.

Marty: What do you guys say we play some Truth or Dare?

George: Yeah. Yeah, I love that game.

Marty: Okay, let's do it.

Millie: No, let's not. People's feelings always end up hurt when we play this game.

Sam: Yeah, she's right.

George: God, Sam and Millie are a couple of little wet pussies, aren't they?

Marty: Clyde, do you wanna start?

Clyde: I dunno. I'm kind of with Sam and Millie on this one.

George: [pointing with his finger] Pussy number one, pussy number two, pussy number three.

Millie: Go ahead, Clyde. Start the game.

Clyde: [on Marty's proposal to bury the body] We can't do that! It's nuts!

Marty: That's nuts? Oh, it's nuts! No, Clyde! Going to prison and getting raped every night for the rest of your cute little fucking lives is nuts!

Clyde: If anything, it's a beautiful day.

George: It smells like cherry blossoms.

Millie: How do you know what cherry blossoms smell like?

George: I know what they smell like!

Rocky: Does anybody really know what a cherry blossom is?

George: Duh, it's a blossom on a cherry.

Rocky: I don't know. I thought it was a blossom all on it's own. What do you think, Marty?

Marty: I think I'm bored as fuck.

Clyde: [crying] I'm sorry...

Clyde: [Marty holds a joint in front of Clyde's face] What'd I tell you?

Marty: You don't smoke herb?

Clyde: Yeah, so get it out of my face.

Marty: Faggot.

Marty: [Clyde gives disapproving look] Clydo, I'm just fucking with you, your not a faggot, all right? Okay? Fist bump? Fist bump?

[Clyde bumps his fist]

Marty: All right zero kill.

Marty: Besides, I like your dads, Clyde, I never knew any homosexual men personally until I met them, they're not so bad.

[in mocking feminine voice]

Marty: Don't you think so Rocky?

Fatty Rossiter: It was already loaded. Jesus, Clyde, you have three pistols and you only have one arm for Christ's sake.

Clyde: Well I just don't want to be killed for lack of shootin' back.

[about the house the Sheriff's building]

Clyde: You know, he don't have a straight angle in that whole god-damned porch, or the whole house for that matter. He is the worst damn carpenter.

Clyde: Do you know what I wonder about you?

Jackie: What?

Clyde: How your cunt taste like.

Jackie: [looking at Clyde blankly, not being surprised at all]

Clyde: Shocked?

Jackie: [blankly] Not really.

Clyde: [seeing Jackie for the first time] Have we met?

Jackie: Yeah, I saw you at a cafe.

Clyde: Right. At a cafe.

[Clyde takes Jackie's hand and they both start to dance]

Clyde: Let's smoke a toast.

Jack: This always happens.

Clyde: What?

Jack: Whenever there's anything good, it fucks up.

Clyde: It fucked up, but it fucked up because *we* forgot.

Jack: No, you fucked it up because you made a fucking toast!

Clyde: Because I love you. We all love you. We forgot the food because you were being loved. That's the important thing to remember.

Clyde: HEY! Stay away from my kids teeth!

Clyde: We're not violent people, Michael. It pains us to pain you.

Clyde: If he

[William]

Clyde: thinks he's sharing our loot with that nigger, he's got another thing coming!

Clyde: You know, captain, as a Southerner you made me sick.

Captain Lynch: Thank you.

Clyde: But as a Northerner, you make me vomit.

Clyde: You still make me vomit!