Cledus Snow Quotes in Smokey and the Bandit (1977)
Cledus Snow Quotes:
Cledus Snow: I don't think my dog bit you, mister. 'Cause Fred definately DON'T like grease!
Cledus Snow: You can't drive a fork lift.
Bandit: I can drive any forkin' thing around.
Cledus Snow: [to Fred, his hound] He about as crazy as you are ugly!
Cledus Snow: Atlanta to Texarkana and back in twenty eight hours? That ain't never been done before, not in no rig.
Bandit: That's cause *we* ain't never done it in no rig. You got to stop thinkin so negative son, we aint not never made it yet have we?
Cledus Snow: Well no...
Bandit: Well alright.
[hops up into trailer]
Cledus Snow: Hey, we really ought to pay somebody for that mess we made.
Bandit: [Hands Cledus notepad and pen] I got that all figured out. Just tell em to send the bill to Big Enos Burdette.
[Gets in car and drives off]
Cledus Snow: [writing a note] Send bill to Big Enos Burdette; Burdette; B, Ber, B-u-r...
[sees Bandit take off]
Cledus Snow: Hell, I got to go!
[leaves without finishing note]
Cledus Snow: [over CB about Carrie's dress] Hey, is she wearing a
Cledus Snow: *wedding dress*?
Bandit: [Carrie throws dress out of the car since she has changed into jeans and a shirt] She was.
Cledus Snow: What's she wearing now? Come back. Hey, you got peanut butter or somethin' in your ears? Tell me what that girl's got on. Her mind!
Cledus Snow: 10-4.
Bandit: Snowman, you got your ears on?
Cledus Snow: You lucky devil, you got him! Where the hell are you?
Cledus Snow: [whistles]
[hears a police motorcycle siren]
Cledus Snow: Oh, no! Hey, Bandit, Hey, Bandit, listen to this!
Cledus Snow: [siren blares out of Bandit's CB] You know who that is? That be the Evel Knievel. He snuck in my back door when I wasn't lookin'. You better flip-flop back here and gimme' a hand, son, or we gonna be in a heap of trouble. Please roger that transmission!
Bandit: Hold on to Fred, son! Here comes the cavalry!
Cledus Snow: [Buford's car runs in front of Cledus' truck]
[to bandit over the CB]
Cledus Snow: Hoss, you ain't gonna believe this, but that crazy sombitch just tried to drive right up under my truck!
Bandit: Cledus, get the money.
Cledus Snow: Yeah, how 'bout the money?
Little Enos: How 'bout double or nothin'?
Cledus Snow: How 'bout forgettin' it?
Bandit: Wait a minute. What about double or nothin'?
Little Enos: You run up to Boston, and bring back some clam chowder for me and my daddy.
Carrie: You're on.
Bandit: Uh, you're on.
Big Enos: In 18 hours?
Bandit: You're still on.
Cledus Snow: WHAT? You're *crazy*! And I'm *divorced*!
Cledus Snow: Besides, I can't go with you. I got to go to Conyers in the morning and pick up a load of manure.
Bandit: Shitty job.
Cledus Snow: Hey Bandit. Me an' Fred's got a question.
Bandit: What you an' Fred want?
Cledus Snow: How come we doin' this?
Bandit: Well why not?
Cledus Snow: Well they said it couldn't be done.
Bandit: Well thats the reason, son!
Cledus Snow: [shrugs] That's good with Fred. We're clear.
Bandit: [laughing] Ten-four
Bandit: What's a Texas county mounty doing in Arkansas?
Cledus Snow: I don't know.
Carrie: I don't know.
[Bandit looks at her]
Carrie: I don't know!
Bandit: [on the CB] Well who the heck knows?
Cledus Snow: I really don't know.
Cledus Snow: You know who that is? That be the Evel Knievel. He snuck in my back door when I wasn't lookin'.
Cledus Snow: Whoa!
[to Bandit over the CB]
Cledus Snow: I just passed another Kojak with a Kodak, this place is crawling with bears, where the hell are you?
Bandit: What do you think they do for excitement in this town?
Cledus Snow: Probably sit around and watch the cars rust.
Cledus Snow: Hold on to your ass Fred!
Cledus Snow: [Bandit is being chased by a lot of police and Cledus is heading straight for them in his truck] Tell me, how many trucks do you see?
'Bandit': I see one, unless I've been drinking.
Cledus Snow: [yells in the CB] Okay, boys... do it, to it!
Cledus Snow: [19 trucks emerge from behind Snowman's truck] Well, I must be commode-hangin' drunk, coz I see about twenty trucks. Ha ha!
Cledus Snow: [twenty 18-wheelers are on a crash course with about fifty police cars] Welcome to the biggest game of chicken, boys!
[the gang learns that Charlotte the elephant is pregnant]
Cledus Snow: Well, I suppose we'd better keep our eyes open.
Doc: For what?
Cledus Snow: [laughing] For the biggest goldang stork you ever seen!
'Bandit': [finding out Charlotte's pregnant] Who did it?
Cledus Snow: Don't look at me.
Doc: Probably another elephant.
'Bandit': I know that, when did it happen?
Doc: Long time ago.
Doc: Sure, take her in the truck, make the baby go bada-bing, bada-boom, but I'll tell you this, I'm not going to be responsible.
[walks off muttering Italian]
Cledus Snow: [to the Bandit] Don't you understand English? He says you can't be shaking Charlotte around in that truck, she's gonna have a baby!
'Bandit': We're talking about $400,000, do you understand that? This is our last chance! $400,000!
Cledus Snow: I understand $400,000 and I would like to get my share of $400,000, but I ain't gonna kill an elephant to get it.
Cledus Snow: [punches Bandit and knocks him down] Doc, I thought I loved him too much to do that to him.
'Bandit': Obviously not.
[Cledus is standing over the Bandit, who's on the floor, drunk]
'Bandit': Cledus, you've gotten taller.
Cledus Snow: Yes, and you've gotten drunker. This place looks like a shithouse!
[Bandit points to the bathroom]
'Bandit': You want a shithouse? It's in there.
Cledus Snow: [to a female fan] You don't need a picture of me. I'll come home and sit on your dresser.
'Bandit': You know I could take you head off.
Cledus Snow: And you know that's just what you' gonna have to do.
'Bandit': What is WRONG with you idiots? You act like she's human!
[sees tears running down Charlotte's face, Doc starts crying, Cledus tears up]
'Bandit': I'm sorry, Charlotte.
Cledus Snow: I'm going to be the bandit! I get to wear the hat and drive the car! I love this! Gimme the car!
Cledus Snow: I get to be the bandit? I don't have to drive the truck, don't have to haul anything but my ass?
Dusty Trails: Is it just me or are you slowing down?
Cledus Snow: Maybe. Think of it this way, what good is the roadrunner without the coyote? What good would the fox be without the hound? What good is the Bandit without the Smokey?
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