Cledus Snow Quotes in Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

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Cledus Snow Quotes:

  • Cledus Snow: I don't think my dog bit you, mister. 'Cause Fred definately DON'T like grease!

  • Cledus Snow: You can't drive a fork lift.

    Bandit: I can drive any forkin' thing around.

  • Cledus Snow: [to Fred, his hound] He about as crazy as you are ugly!

  • Cledus Snow: Atlanta to Texarkana and back in twenty eight hours? That ain't never been done before, not in no rig.

    Bandit: That's cause *we* ain't never done it in no rig. You got to stop thinkin so negative son, we aint not never made it yet have we?

    Cledus Snow: Well no...

    Bandit: Well alright.

    [hops up into trailer]

  • Cledus Snow: Hey, we really ought to pay somebody for that mess we made.

    Bandit: [Hands Cledus notepad and pen] I got that all figured out. Just tell em to send the bill to Big Enos Burdette.

    [Gets in car and drives off]

    Cledus Snow: [writing a note] Send bill to Big Enos Burdette; Burdette; B, Ber, B-u-r...

    [sees Bandit take off]

    Cledus Snow: Hell, I got to go!

    [leaves without finishing note]

  • Cledus Snow: [over CB about Carrie's dress] Hey, is she wearing a

    [pause]

    Cledus Snow: *wedding dress*?

    Bandit: [Carrie throws dress out of the car since she has changed into jeans and a shirt] She was.

    Cledus Snow: What's she wearing now? Come back. Hey, you got peanut butter or somethin' in your ears? Tell me what that girl's got on. Her mind!

    [laughs Earthily]

    Cledus Snow: 10-4.

  • Bandit: Snowman, you got your ears on?

    Cledus Snow: You lucky devil, you got him! Where the hell are you?

  • Cledus Snow: [whistles]

    [hears a police motorcycle siren]

    Cledus Snow: Oh, no! Hey, Bandit, Hey, Bandit, listen to this!

    Cledus Snow: [siren blares out of Bandit's CB] You know who that is? That be the Evel Knievel. He snuck in my back door when I wasn't lookin'. You better flip-flop back here and gimme' a hand, son, or we gonna be in a heap of trouble. Please roger that transmission!

    Bandit: Hold on to Fred, son! Here comes the cavalry!

  • Cledus Snow: [Buford's car runs in front of Cledus' truck]

    [to bandit over the CB]

    Cledus Snow: Hoss, you ain't gonna believe this, but that crazy sombitch just tried to drive right up under my truck!

  • Bandit: Cledus, get the money.

    Cledus Snow: Yeah, how 'bout the money?

    Little Enos: How 'bout double or nothin'?

    Cledus Snow: How 'bout forgettin' it?

    Bandit: Wait a minute. What about double or nothin'?

    Little Enos: You run up to Boston, and bring back some clam chowder for me and my daddy.

    Carrie: You're on.

    Bandit: Uh, you're on.

    Big Enos: In 18 hours?

    Bandit: You're still on.

    Cledus Snow: WHAT? You're *crazy*! And I'm *divorced*!

  • Cledus Snow: Besides, I can't go with you. I got to go to Conyers in the morning and pick up a load of manure.

    Bandit: Shitty job.

  • Cledus Snow: Hey Bandit. Me an' Fred's got a question.

    Bandit: What you an' Fred want?

    Cledus Snow: How come we doin' this?

    Bandit: Well why not?

    Cledus Snow: Well they said it couldn't be done.

    Bandit: Well thats the reason, son!

    Cledus Snow: [shrugs] That's good with Fred. We're clear.

    Bandit: [laughing] Ten-four

  • Bandit: What's a Texas county mounty doing in Arkansas?

    Cledus Snow: I don't know.

    Carrie: I don't know.

    [Bandit looks at her]

    Carrie: I don't know!

    Bandit: [on the CB] Well who the heck knows?

    Cledus Snow: I really don't know.

  • Cledus Snow: You know who that is? That be the Evel Knievel. He snuck in my back door when I wasn't lookin'.

  • Cledus Snow: Whoa!

    [to Bandit over the CB]

    Cledus Snow: I just passed another Kojak with a Kodak, this place is crawling with bears, where the hell are you?

  • Bandit: What do you think they do for excitement in this town?

    Cledus Snow: Probably sit around and watch the cars rust.

  • Cledus Snow: Hold on to your ass Fred!

  • Cledus Snow: [Bandit is being chased by a lot of police and Cledus is heading straight for them in his truck] Tell me, how many trucks do you see?

    'Bandit': I see one, unless I've been drinking.

    Cledus Snow: [yells in the CB] Okay, boys... do it, to it!

    Cledus Snow: [19 trucks emerge from behind Snowman's truck] Well, I must be commode-hangin' drunk, coz I see about twenty trucks. Ha ha!

  • Cledus Snow: [twenty 18-wheelers are on a crash course with about fifty police cars] Welcome to the biggest game of chicken, boys!

  • [the gang learns that Charlotte the elephant is pregnant]

    Cledus Snow: Well, I suppose we'd better keep our eyes open.

    Doc: For what?

    Cledus Snow: [laughing] For the biggest goldang stork you ever seen!

  • 'Bandit': [finding out Charlotte's pregnant] Who did it?

    Cledus Snow: Don't look at me.

    Doc: Probably another elephant.

    'Bandit': I know that, when did it happen?

    Doc: Long time ago.

  • Doc: Sure, take her in the truck, make the baby go bada-bing, bada-boom, but I'll tell you this, I'm not going to be responsible.

    [walks off muttering Italian]

    Cledus Snow: [to the Bandit] Don't you understand English? He says you can't be shaking Charlotte around in that truck, she's gonna have a baby!

    'Bandit': We're talking about $400,000, do you understand that? This is our last chance! $400,000!

    Cledus Snow: I understand $400,000 and I would like to get my share of $400,000, but I ain't gonna kill an elephant to get it.

  • Cledus Snow: [punches Bandit and knocks him down] Doc, I thought I loved him too much to do that to him.

    'Bandit': Obviously not.

  • [Cledus is standing over the Bandit, who's on the floor, drunk]

    'Bandit': Cledus, you've gotten taller.

    Cledus Snow: Yes, and you've gotten drunker. This place looks like a shithouse!

    [Bandit points to the bathroom]

    'Bandit': You want a shithouse? It's in there.

  • Cledus Snow: [to a female fan] You don't need a picture of me. I'll come home and sit on your dresser.

  • 'Bandit': You know I could take you head off.

    Cledus Snow: And you know that's just what you' gonna have to do.

    'Bandit': What is WRONG with you idiots? You act like she's human!

    [sees tears running down Charlotte's face, Doc starts crying, Cledus tears up]

    'Bandit': I'm sorry, Charlotte.

  • Cledus Snow: I'm going to be the bandit! I get to wear the hat and drive the car! I love this! Gimme the car!

  • Cledus Snow: I get to be the bandit? I don't have to drive the truck, don't have to haul anything but my ass?

  • Dusty Trails: Is it just me or are you slowing down?

    Cledus Snow: Maybe. Think of it this way, what good is the roadrunner without the coyote? What good would the fox be without the hound? What good is the Bandit without the Smokey?

Browse more character quotes from Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

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