Claudette Quotes in Alpha and Omega: Family Vacation (2015)

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Claudette Quotes:

  • Claudette: And Runt, what about you? Constantly hugging Freida and Fran, the porcupines? Yea, 'cause that's really normal.

    Kate: Wait a minute! That's why i'm always pulling needles outta you?

    Runt: They never get hugs.

    Claudette: Because they're mean girls.

    Runt: No, they're not mean. They're just prickly. And they wanted to come on our trip too.

  • [first lines]

    Humphrey: Okay, pups. As we continue on our first family vacation to Alfred Creek Falls, it's time for my infamous animal impressions!

    [the pups groan in disgust]

    Kate: Groans? Oh, come on pups. You used to love your dad's animal impressions.

    Claudette: Yeah, until they got weird as hell.

  • Claudette: Caught me at a bad time, kid. I'm in.

    Roger: So am I.

    Claudette: Nobody enters my dressing room uninvited! What the hell do you think that star means?

    Roger: You're Jewish?

  • Claudette: I'm Claudette Katzenback, the va-va-va-voom girl with the va-va-va-voom voice. Who the hell are you?

    Lieutenant Cross: I'm Lt. Cross, the Chicago cop with the sh-sh-short temper.

  • Claudette: [Discovering her husband's remains] Oh God! It's Herman! He's... he's... EVERYWHERE!

  • Claudette: I've told you, not to bother me before a show, or after a show. Or, at home in my bedroom, when I'm thinking about a show!

  • Claudette: Everything goes wrong all at once. Nobody wants to help me. And I'm dying.

    Lisa: You're not dying, mom.

    Claudette: I got the results of the test back - I definitely have breast cancer.

  • Johnny: Oh, hi, Claudette!

    Claudette: Oh!

    Johnny: Bye!

  • Lisa: Denny, look at me in the eyes and tell the truth. We're your friends.

    Denny: I bought some drugs off of him. Things got mixed up. I didn't mean for this to happen!

    Lisa: [crying] Denny...

    Denny: I don't have them anymore!

    Lisa: What kind of drugs, Denny?

    Denny: It doesn't matter, I don't have them anymore!

    Claudette: It doesn't matter? How in the hell did you get involved with drugs?

    Lisa: Mom...

    Claudette: What? Were you giving them to him, selling them to him? Where in the hell did you meet that man?

    Lisa: [screaming] What kind of drugs do you take?

    Denny: It's nothing like that!

    Lisa: [screaming] What the hell is wrong with you?

    Denny: I just needed some money to pay off some stuff!

    Lisa: How much do you have to give him?

    Claudette: This is not the way you make money!

    Lisa: [screaming] How much?

    Denny: [screaming] Stop ganging up on me!

    Claudette: Well, it is time somebody ganged up on you for God's sake! A man like that! Where in the hell did you meet a man like that?

    Denny: It doesn't matter!

    Claudette: It matters a great deal! A man holds a gun on you! You almost got killed and you expect me to forget that happened?

    Denny: You're not my fucking mother!

    Claudette: [grabs Denny by the shirt] You listen, you little boy!

    Lisa: No, stop! No!

    [grabs and hugs Denny]

    Claudette: Somebody had better do something around here!

  • Johnny: Are you okay, Denny?

    Denny: I'm okay.

    Johnny: Are you *okay*?

    Denny: I'm okay!

    Claudette: What's okay? He's taking drugs.

  • Claudette: If you think I'm tired today, wait until you see me tomorrow.

  • Lisa: Denny, are you okay? What did that man want from you?

    Denny: Nothing.

    Claudette: Oh, that was not nothing!

    Lisa: Tell me everything!

    Claudette: You have no idea what kind of trouble you're in here, do you?

    Denny: I owe him some money.

    Lisa: What kind of money?

    Denny: I owe him some money!

    Lisa: What kind of money?

    Denny: Everything is okay! He's gone!

    Claudette: Everything is not okay. Denny, that is a dangerous man!

    Denny: Calm down! He's going to jail!

    Lisa: Denny, what kind of money? Just tell me!

    Claudette: What do you need money for?

    Lisa: Mom, please! Denny is with me and Johnny!

    Claudette: A man like that! With a gun! My god!

  • Claudette: All men are assholes. Men and women use and abuse each other all the time; there's nothing wrong with it. Marriage has nothing to do with love.

  • Lisa: I'm fixing the apartment for Johnny's birthday, but I'm really not into it.

    Claudette: Oh? Why not?

    Lisa: 'Cause I'm in love with Mark, not Johnny. And here I am planning his party.

    Claudette: It's not right, Lisa. I still think you should marry Johnny! Now, you can't live on love. You need financial security.

    Lisa: But I'm not happy! And he still thinks I'm going to marry him next month. He's a fool.

  • Mark: Come on, it's clear.

    Claudette: What's clear?

  • Claudette: What are these characters doing here?

  • Claudette: [having sex] Barry's out of bounds... Barry...

    Barry: Come on, a man's not made out of stone.

    Claudette: [whispers] Somebody's there!

    Barry: [notices who it is] We weren't doing anything. We were just messing...

  • Claudette: Somebody'll see.

    Barry: No, they won't.

  • Claudette: Does Mary Ann kiss as good as I do?

    Barry: How would I know?

    Claudette: Oh, you...

Browse more character quotes from Alpha and Omega: Family Vacation (2015)

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Characters on Alpha and Omega: Family Vacation (2015)