Clarence Day Quotes in Life with Father (1947)

Mary: That's funny. The words are the same, but it's the wrong tune.

Clarence Day: Oh, it can't be the wrong tune. We sing it exactly that way in church.

Mary: We don't sing it that way in the Methodist Church. You see, we're Methodist.

Clarence Day: Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I don't mean it's too bad that you're a Methodist. Anybody's got a right to be anything they want, but what I mean is, we're... *Episcopalians*.

Vinnie: Is that suit of your father's too tight for you?

Clarence Day: No, it's not too tight.

Vinnie: Well, what is it?

Clarence Day: Mother, very peculiar things have happened since I started to wear this suit. I can't seem to make these clothes do anything Father wouldn't do.

Vinnie: Oh, that's nonsense. And not to kneel in church is a sacrilege.

Clarence Day: Making Father's trousers kneel seemed like more of a sacrilege.

Vinnie: Why didn't you kneel in the church today?

Clarence Day: I... I just couldn't.

Vinnie: Just because your father doesn't kneel, you must remember he wasn't brought up to kneel in church, but you *were*. Has it anything to do with Mary? I know that she is a Methodist.

Clarence Day: Oh, no, mother. Methodists kneel, Mary told me. They don't get up and down so much, but they stay down longer.

Father: [advising his son on man-woman relationships] All a man has to do is be firm. You know how some times *I* have had to be firm with your mother.

Clarence Day: Yes, but father, but what can you do when they cry?

Father: Hmm... well, uh... that's quite a question. You just have to make them understand that what you are doing is for their good.

Clarence Day: I see...

Father: Now, Clarence, you know all about women.

Father: [stands up to signal the end of the conversation]

Clarence Day: But father...

Father: Yes, Clarence?

Clarence Day: I thought you were going to tell me about...

Father: About what?

Clarence Day: About... women.

Father: Clarence, there are some things gentlemen don't discuss! I told you all you need to know.

Clarence Day: Jiminy, another wreck on the New Haven. That always disturbs the stock market. Father won't like that.

Vinnie: I do wish the New Haven would stop having wrecks. If they knew how much it upsets your father.