Claire Wellington Quotes in The Stepford Wives (2004)

Claire Wellington: I asked myself, "Where would people never notice a town full of robots?"

[gasps]

Claire Wellington: Connecticut.

Claire Wellington: Well, aren't you a bug's ear.

Kimberly Kresby: Bugs don't have ears.

Claire Wellington: Why, aren't you sassy? And a little sad.

[seeing Joanna in the car]

Claire Wellington: And this must be Joanna.

[whispering to Walter]

Claire Wellington: Electroshock?

Walter Kresby: Yes, but she's doing much better.

Claire Wellington: Hello, little energizer.

Claire Wellington: I was the world's foremost brain surgeon and genetic engineer. I had top-secret contracts with the Pentagon, Apple and Mattel. I was driven. Exhausted. Until late one night, I came home to find...

[stunned]

Claire Wellington: Mike... with Patricia. My brilliant... blond... 21-year-old research assistant. It was all so...

[in a deep manly voice]

Claire Wellington: ... ugly.

[Continues in a disconnectedly happy voice]

Claire Wellington: Then early the next morning, as I gazed across the breakfast table at their lifeless bodies, I thought... "What have I done?" But more importantly... what could I do to make the world more beautiful?

Claire Wellington: Today, we are going to discuss - well, it is probably the most important book any of us will ever read. Yes, it is provocative, but it is also inspiring: The Heritage Hills Special Edition Golden Deluxe Treasury of Christmas Keepsakes and Collectibles!

[wives and Roger squeal and applaud with delight]

Claire Wellington: This book said to me, 'Let's celebrate the birth of our lord Jesus Christ... with yarn.'

Bobbi Markowitz: [Discussing how to include Jewish Bobbie in Stepford's Christmas] Or maybe I could just use hundreds of Pine Cones to spell out the words 'Big Jew' in letters 15 feet tall, on the snow in my front yard?

Claire Wellington: ...That's a wonderful idea!

Claire Wellington: [at the Stepford Bookclub, Claire is discussing a book on Christmas] Now Bobbi. We all realize you're probably feeling a bit uncomfortable with this weeks book because...

[Frowns]

Claire Wellington: what's the word I'm looking for

Additional Stepford Wife: New?

Sarah Sunderson: Scared?

Roger Bannister: Cranky?

Claire Wellington: [remembering] Jewish.

Bobbi Markowitz: [smiling] Same thing.

Claire Wellington: [to all] But the Heritage Hills series is very inclusive. In fact there is a whole chapter,

[to Bobbi]

Claire Wellington: about Chanukah

Claire Wellington: I'm the only decent person left

Joanna Eberhart: In Stepford?

Claire Wellington: In the world!

Roger Bannister: [gasps] She's fabulous!

Claire Wellington: [manically] Does anyone have a screwdriver?

Joanna Eberhard: You're insane!

Claire Wellington: I'm in love. With the waltz, and a town

[pauses, picks up Mikes head]

Claire Wellington: and a man.

[Kisses Mikes head]