Claire Quotes in Jurassic World (2015)

Claire: So, you can pick up their scent can't you? Track their foot prints.

Owen: I was with the Navy. Not the Navajo.

Gray: Can we stay with you?

Claire: I am never leaving you again!

Gray, Zach: [points to Owen] No, no, him. We mean him.

Masrani: So the paddock is quite safe then...

Claire: [Agreeing with her head] We have the best structural engineers in the world.

Masrani: Yeah, so did Hammond...

Owen: It's all about control with you. I don't control the Raptors. It's a relationship. It's based on mutual respect. That's why you and I never had a second date.

Claire: Excuse me? I never wanted a second date.

Owen: Who prints out an itinerary for a night out?

Claire: I'm an organized person.

Owen: What kind of diet doesn't allow tequila?

Claire: All of them, actually. And what kind of a man shows up to a date in board shorts?

Owen: It's Central America. It's hot.

Masrani: It's white. You never told me it was white.

Claire: Think it will scare the kids?

Masrani: The kids? This will give the parents nightmares.

[last lines]

Claire: So now what do we do?

Owen: Probably stay together. For survival.

Claire: We've been pre-booking tickets for months. The park needs a new attraction every few years in order to reinvigorate the public's interest. Kind of like the space program. Corporate felt genetic modification would up the wow factor.

Owen: They're dinosaurs. Wow enough.

Claire: Not according to our focus groups. The Indominus rex makes us relevant again.

Owen: [chuckling] The Indominus rex?

Claire: We needed something scary and easy to pronounce. You should hear a four-year-old try to say "Archeaornithomimus."

Owen: You should hear you try to say it.

Gray: [during an Indominus Rex attack] We need more.

Claire: More what?

Gray: We need more teeth.

Masrani: [regarding Indominus rex's escape attempts] She's intelligent, then?

Claire: For a dinosaur.

Masrani: And that?

[he indicates the cracked viewing window]

Claire: It tried to break the glass.

Masrani: I admire her spirit.

Masrani: What is that?

Owen: That's her tracking implant. She clawed it out.

Claire: How would it know to do that?

Owen: She remembered where they put it in.

Claire: You can't ever tell your mother about this!

Karen: Well, a promise tomorrow is worth a lot less than trying today.

Claire: Ew! You're using Mom's lines now?

Karen: Oh, my God. I am using Mom's lines.

Owen: Animals raised in isolation aren't always the most functional.

Claire: Your Raptors are born in captivity.

Owen: With siblings. They learn social skills. And I imprint on then when they're born. There's trust. The only positive relationship this animal has is with that crane. At least she knows that means food.

Claire: So, she needs a friend. We should schedule play-dates? That sort of thing?

Owen: Probably not a good idea.

Masrani: Say, I thought there were two of them?

Claire: There was a sibling, in case this one did not survive infancy...

Masrani: Where is the sibling?

Claire: She ate it...

Owen: You'll last two minutes in there. Less in those ridiculous shoes.

[Claire unbuckles her belt, ties her shirt at her midriff, rolls up her sleeves and puts her hands on her hips at Owen]

Owen: What is that supposed to mean?

Claire: It means I'm ready to go.

Owen: ...okay

[from trailer]

Claire: We're talking about an animal here.

Owen: A highly intelligent animal.

Claire: And please, clean your workplace. It's... chaotic.

Lowery: I like to see it as living system... Just enough stability to keep it from falling into total anarchy.

[Claire swiftly moves the garbage can. Distracted, Lowery drops the soda cup. Falling right into the moved can]

Claire: I need you.

Owen: Okay?

Claire: I need your help. My nephews they're out in the valley. Please if anything happens to them.

Owen: How old?

Claire: Uh, the, um... the older one he's like uh... he's high school age. The younger one, he's um... he's... a few years...

Owen: You don't know how old your nephews are?

Claire: We have an asset out of containment. Put ACU on alert. This not a drill.

Claire: [Outside a paddock and telling Lowery to open it] Lowery, man up and do something for once in your life!

Lowery: Why did you have to make it personal?

[from trailer]

Claire: RUUNNN!

[from trailer]

Claire: Every time we unveiled a new attraction, attendance has spiked.

Claire: The Indominus rex. Our first genetically modified hybrid.

Jim Drucker: How did you get two different kinds of dinosaurs to, you know...

Henry Wu: Oh, Indominus wasn't bred. She was designed. She will be fifty feet long when fully grown. Bigger than the T-rex.

Claire: Everyone remain calm!

Claire: So when you say you want to sponsor an attraction, what do you have in mind?

Hal Osterly: We want to be thrilled.

Claire: Don't we all?

Vivian: Did you close the deal?

Claire: Looks like it. Verizon Wireless presents the Indominus Rex.

Lowery: Ugh, that is so terrible. Why not just go the distance, Claire, and just let these corporations name the dinosaurs? They got all the ball parks. Why stop there?

Claire: Why are the west plains closed?

Vivian: Another Pachy roaming outside his zone. But he's fully sedated and ready for relocation.

Claire: The park needs a new attraction every few years in order to reinvigorate the public's interest. Kind of like the space program.

Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?

Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.

Claire: Everyone is grateful for you helping us out.

Alice: But how long am I gonna stay?

Claire: Don't get me wrong, we really are grateful. They're all talking about what you did, and they're scared.

Alice: I don't blame them, people have a habit of dying around me.

Claire: Not just you.

[a flock of crows surround the convoy, one lands on the hood of a truck]

K-Mart: What's wrong with their eyes?

Claire: They've been feeding on infected flesh.

Leslie Rodgers: Are you crazy? You almost died! Well, you have a, a mangled hand, a broken rib!

Claire: Four this time.

Ascension: [under her breath] This is a real man.

Claire: What are we doing here?

Hawkins: Well hopefully each other if all goes as planned.

Claire: If you lose, does the treasury department give you back your money?

Ticket Giver: [through a head-hole in a walk-up counter] I thought so. Here's your order, lady.

[throws a handfull of flowers at her]

Ticket Giver: And next time, take your business someplace else!

Jane: Frankly, I'd like to stick it to 'em good!

Claire: What did you have in mind, Tiger?

Jane: Well, I don't know.

Marvin Fogleman, T-Man: [calling over the radio from the room] Phantom Fox.

Claire: Uh, Max and I are watching Freddie Uh Two Fingers' Snooker Parlor, and uh I... expect to be murdered any minute. If that should happen, would somebody please contact Alfredo? He does my hair.

Marvin Fogleman, T-Man: Ten-four.

Mr. Delaney Rafferty: [over the radio] Five dames ain't gonna find no bank. We'll be lucky if they don't get us all killed! If you want me honest opinion, it's a wild duck chase.

Marvin Fogleman, T-Man: Who...

[grabbing the radio phone and turning to Reverand Hill]

Marvin Fogleman, T-Man: who is that?

Rev. Michael Hill: [grabs radio phone] Sounds like Delaney Rafferty. Eh, Blarney Stone... the whole idea is that they'd be less suspicious with women following them.

Mrs. Rose Rafferty: I know, I know but I can't drive, Reverand. And you'll never recognize Delaney.

Mr. Delaney Rafferty: [grabs radio phone from Rose. Delaney is dressed up as a woman] Don't use my name, I told ya. If it got out what I was doing, I'd be spending the night in the river that's what! Them guys play for keeps!

Claire: [who is blind] I don't mind being blind: I'll never have to see ugliness, or poverty, or pollution, or the Chevrolet Nova

Claire: It's better to be blind in Heaven then sighted in Hell.

Claire: You pushed me off a bridge!

Norman Scott: Yeah.

Claire: I would have jumped!

[Scott laughs]

[first lines]

Max: Hey, Claire. Wanna see something great?

Claire: [on the phone] Who else was there?

Max: It's an igloo! I made it.

Claire: Yeah, my brother.

Max: Hey, Claire!

Claire: I can't. We're supposed to go to my dad's that weekend.

Max: The snowplows left some snow across the street, and I dug a hole into it.

Claire: Go and play with your friends.

Claire: So much for being normal.

Hannah Nefler: [whispers and wave] Hi Daddy.

Claire: [upon seeing her own father, she follows Hannah's example] Hi Daddy.

Freddy: [to Hannah] Hi sweetie.

Jack Sprantz: [to Claire] Hi sweetie.

Claire: [after David reconciles with his dad and stepmom] I've been worried sick about you.

David: You were worried about me?

Claire: [smiles] Of course. Having this baby doesn't mean I don't love you.

David: [hugs her] I know that now... mom.

Claire: Honey, we're a family.

Thom: That's right - just a bigger one.

David: [as they walk in the house] Dad? Mom? Speaking of bigger families, do you think we have room for a pet or two?

Soldier: [holding back his attack] I'll not fight with a lady.

Claire: [thrusting her rapier at the soldier] I'm no lady when I fight!

[last lines]

Alvin: [tries to open a bottle of champange] Stupid cork! Doesn't - Whoa!

[Cork flies into a glass door cabinet breaking it along with some of the glasses in it]

Alvin: Yikes, Ha-ha! Oops!

David Seville: Not gonna say it.

Alvin: Uh-oh!

Simon: Good grief.

[Champagne spills all over the floor creating a large puddle]

Claire: Are you still not gonna say it?

David Seville: [tries very hard not to] Nope!

[Champagne puddle becomes a flood that hits a plug outlet, causing a blackout in Dave's house]

David Seville: I'm gonna say it. AAAAAALLLLLLVVVVVVIIIIIINNNNNN!

Alvin: OKAY!

Claire: I would like to know what is at the center of your world.

Robbie Clark: Well, I'm 22, I guess I would say me.

Bo: We're just back in the states because of my dad's sabbatical. He's writing a book on Dr. Spock.

Claire: Oh, I love Star Trek.

[Claire is doing Allison's make-up]

Claire: You know, you look a lot better without all that black shit under your eyes.

Allison Reynolds: Hey, I like all that black shit... Why are you being so nice to me?

Claire: Because you're letting me.

Bender: Are you a virgin? I'll bet you a million dollars that you are. Let's end the suspense! Is it gonna be... a white wedding?

Claire: Why don't you just shut up?

Bender: Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth?

[Claire doesn't answer]

Bender: Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off... hoping to God your parents don't walk in?

Claire: Do you want me to puke?

Bender: Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvins in a ball on the front seat, past eleven on a school-night?

Bender: Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? It's pretty tasty.

Claire: No thank you.

Bender: How does he ride a bike?

Bender: Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this?

Claire: Can't you just leave me alone?

Bender: I mean even if he had a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun

Claire: Michelle, if you can't give me a raise, I can't continue to work here.

Michelle Darnell: Well, look who finally showed up to my seminar. About time, Claire, I love it. I didn't know you were listening all these years. What am I always saying?

Tito: Don't go in that room!

Michelle Darnell: True. I do say that, but I also say, you want something, you gotta take it. Claire, you just took it and you grew a pair in the process.

Claire: I'm holding your earrings?

Michelle Darnell: You're holding a pair of earrings, as in 2001 I paid $ 62,000 for it, and that's your raise now, it's a good raise and you earned it.

Claire: Thank you.

Tito: Congratulations on your balls, Claire!

Rachel: Holy shit!

Claire: Language!

[Sees Darnell]

Claire: Holy SHIT!

Michelle Darnell: It's hilarious. It's like that classic comedy gag, 'Who's on my baseball?'.

Tito: Who's on my baseball?

Michelle Darnell: Who's on my baseball?

Tito: Uh, who's on my baseball?

Michelle Darnell: Who's on my baseball?

Claire: I think it's uh, 'Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third'. Right?

Michelle Darnell: I don't think that's...

Tito: Uh... no?

Michelle Darnell: Uh, I think you're on my baseball.

Tito: Who's on my baseball!

Michelle Darnell: First base!

Tito: [singing] What's on my baseball!

Claire: Dear Claire, "What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if? I don't know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart. I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it. And, Claire, if you didn't, I hope one day that you will. All my love, Juliet

Claire: Charlie doesn't approve, which makes it all the more fun.

Charlie: [trying to convince Claire to leave] It's been a long day.

Claire: All right, darling, have a nice sleep.

Charlie: But that's different.

Claire: Oh, of course it is. Her mother chose to leave her. You always knew your parents loved you.

Claire: Life is the messy bits.

Claire: I think you understand why I'm saying you're a total idiot.

Charlie: Okay, okay, gran. Don't sugarcoat it.

Claire: I won't.

Claire: One of the great joys in life is having one's hair brushed.

Claire: [about Sophie] She's coming!

Charlie: [sarcastically] Oh, she's coming? Oh, *splendid!*

Claire: Charlie, say you're sorry.

Aquamarine: Let's go find Raymond!

[giggles]

Aquamarine: [she runs off]

Hailey: Wait! You need shoes!

Claire: And undies!

Hailey: I just want you to know, if Leonard comes in here and chops us up into a million pieces, that you are totally, completely, and eternally my best friend.

Claire: You're my best friend, too.

Hailey: And I broke your ipod.

[Claire shoves Hailey, then they both start giggling]

Hailey: [the door opens]

[Hailey & Claire scream]

Grandma Maggie: [walks in through the door in a raincoat] What are you girls doing out here in this weather?

Aquamarine: Her dad makes the weather?

Claire: No, he just reports it.

Aquamarine: And she's a princess?

Hailey: No, just a royal bitch.

Aquamarine: You have to help me make him love me.

Hailey, Claire: No way!

Hailey: He's way too popular! You should pick someone else.

Claire: She right. I mean all the girls are after him. Even a few boys.

Hailey: O Gods of hurricanes, makers of thunder and lightning and majestical waves. Useth your power to keep my mom from moving to Austrailia. Maketh her to see the error of her ways, and keepeth us in Baybridge!

[Grabs popcorn box, picks out a piece, and throws it over her shoulder]

Hailey: Amen.

Claire: You're insane!

Hailey: That's what they tell me!

[Hailey laughs evilly]

Claire: [Aquamarine made Hailey's fish come out of hiding] Can you make boobs come out of hiding?

Hailey: Maybe we could wish for something else?

Claire: Something else, like what, like a new best friend? A new person to tell everything to.

Hailey: Claire - don't...

Claire: How could you even think that way?

Hailey: I mean, maybe we could learn to stand on our own for a change...

Claire: You mean me don't you.

Hailey: I mean, I'm not your mom.

Claire: You think I need you all the time, when the truth is, you're so mad at the world, that nobody but me even wants to talk to you.

Hailey: Oh, so you're the one who's lived here your whole life. How do you figure I'm your only friend?

Hailey: [Hailey then goes]

Claire: [about why they can't get Ray's attention] Well, all these articles say we've been way too available. We need to be more coy.

Hailey: We are so coy, he barely knows we exist.

Claire: [Reading a magazine article about flirting tips] This one is called ""Fluff and Retreat: Fluff his ego then walk away. Not only is he left wanting more, but he's under the impression that it's his idea."

Claire: Hail, did you order a SAND-witch?

Dennis: I went for a bit of a run this morning and I think I've got a bit of a... rash...

[indicates downwards]

Claire: Yes...

Dennis: Y'know... Down in the...

Claire: [agitated] Yes, yes, I understand.

Dennis: Scrotal Zone.

Claire: Gay men are so hot. It's tragic.

Todd: What do you want for Christmas, Claire?

Claire: I don't know.

Todd: Do you want to get laid?

Claire: No.

Todd: No, you don't wanna get laid, or no, you do, but you don't wanna get laid - with me?

[Claire and Todd are having breakfast together, and he's reading the funnies in the newspaper]

Claire: So, what do you have against The Family Circus?

Todd: Okay. You sit down and read your paper, and you're enjoying your entire two-page comics spread. Right? And then there's the Family fucking Circus, bottom right-hand corner, just waiting to suck.

Claire: You're making me an accessory!

Ronna: Okay Claire, that bracelet of mine you're wearing, that's an accessory.

Claire: What happened to the carpet?

Deuce Bigalow: Oh, it's one of those 18th century wet rugs.

Deuce Bigalow: I couldn't help overhearing your Spanish.

Claire: It's French.

Deuce Bigalow: Oui, French... Nice people.

Deuce Bigalow: Maybe we should take care of a little business first.

Claire: If you prefer.

Deuce Bigalow: I don't have a set price or anything, but I have been getting ten dollars.

Claire: I'm sorry?

Deuce Bigalow: Well that's my going rate. But I'm willing to negotiate.

Claire: [chuckles] That's funny. But the price is five hundred.

Deuce Bigalow: You're gonna pay me five hundred dollars?

Claire: No, honey, you pay me.

Deuce Bigalow: Oh, I get it. This is some kind of role reversal. I'll play along with this.

[deep voice]

Deuce Bigalow: Okay, 300, 400, 500, you're my hooker. No, seriously, where's my ten dollars?

Pierre: I'm bisexual.

Claire: [scoffs] Who cares? Gay, straight, bi... you're sexual. That's it. If you love life, you love sex.

Tank: Easy, Urlacher. Ever notice it's the linebackers concerned with people not eating? If the pussy police here would stop ordering her french fries tempura...

Claire: I just had a child!

Tank: Well, congratulations. I'm sure he was probably delicious. Looks like you downed the whole thing.

Vincent: [Walking along the street] Claire, make Gaspard a balloon, not a ball and chain.

Claire: Was I a ball and chain?

Vincent: Mon petit Claire, you were not the ball and chain. You were the zeppelin.

[after meeting Kate]

Claire: I'm very impressed.

Luc: She's a friend, just a friend.

Claire: Since when are women just your friends?

Luc: Since I met her.

Claire: So, do you play sports?

Kyle: No, I'm a big spaz like my dad.

Lance Clayton: Well, I was in the dive team in college.

Kyle: Diving's not really a sport; it's falling.

Thom: I have 83 dollars to my name.

Claire: I thought you were a therapist.

Thom: Uh, just playin' around.

Claire: So you're, you're poor?

Thom: No, *you're* poor. I have 83 dollars.

Thom: Eventually you have to settle down.

Claire: Some people settle down, and some people just settle.

Thom: Well, it's clear which category you fit into.

Thom: I thought you said you didn't fly.

Claire: Well it's time I got over it. Those pilots know what they're doing. And it's safer than driving.

Thom: Depends on who's driving.

Claire: Did you ever notice how really lonely men have large DVD collections?

Thom: Did you know that out of all the mammals on earth, only a quarter of them are monogamous. The rest

[wandering gesture]

Thom: sleeping around.

Claire: Many of which eat their own poop.

Thom: If you're going past Newark I gotta charge you round trip. I don't make the rules, that's, that's headquarters... You can't go past New Brunswick either, that's, that's corporation limit. In fact, even New Brunswick's pushing it.

Claire: Will you shut up? I'm not paying you to talk, I'm paying you to drive. That's why I took a cab, so I could sit in the back, while some foreigner who speaks broken English could take me where I need to go!

Oren Little: I slept with Leah.

Claire: Whoa. You did mess up.

Oren Little: Well, the sex was actually pretty good, but...

Claire: ...but you left immediately after. Right?

Oren Little: How'd you know that?

Claire: You think you invented men being assholes?

Claire: Now you spend an extra hour in front of the mirror every morning and every night. And now you'll be the one to walk into a room and scan it for who looks better than you and who doesn't. And as the years go by, the numbers change. One day you'll walk into a room and you're the last woman any man notices.

Claire: Mother, the only thing you ever taught me about the Sabbath is that Bergdorf's wouldn't be as crowded.

Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don't you get a perm?

Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.

Claire: Now you listen to me!

Rose Morgan: Take it easy, Claire!

Claire: Now, I want you to get up there and remember that this is MY day... and if you don't behave yourself, I'm gonna have your birth certificate blown up as a Christmas card!

Hannah Morgan: I should never have encouraged you to speak.

Claire: [to Rose about Alex] ... I'm in the middle of one of my lesbian orgy dreams and he's staring at me like I'm suppose to include him. I can't even fantasize in private.

Claire: You are the mother of the bride, not the opening act.

Claire: If he weren't gorgeous, rich and straight, I wouldn't even have bothered.

Rose Morgan: Look at me, I'm a grown woman in a prom dress.

Claire: Oh, please. You look adorable.

Rose Morgan: Adorable? I look like an over-the-hill Barbie Doll. It doesn't fit right, it's too tight.

Claire: Too many Sno Balls.

Rose Morgan: Why didn't you pick something looser and in my color?

Claire: Because Maids of Honor don't wear black.

[after meeting two older cowgirl women in their motel's bar, they both invite Tyler to their room. They then tell him to lie down and surprise him by tying him up to the bed]

Tyler: Whatever you're doing back there, just... be careful because I bruise easy.

Karma: What do you think, Claire? Should we use the baby carrot or the Excalibur?

Tyler: Oh, baby carrot. Baby carrot.

Claire: Gosh, honey, it looks like we left the carrot at home. Too bad. So very, very sad. Load me up.

[Karma raises up the Excalibur and Claire oils it up]

Tyler: Oh, dear Lord.

Tyler: [overheard by Nick and Sasha from their room moments later with sounds of Tyler's bed banging in the background] This is great. Oh!

Claire: "ER" my ass!

Claire: Where are you going?

Robert: Looks like I'm going nowhere.

Claire: Don't you fucking quote Star Wars at me!

Claire: When are you going to start living in the present instead of the 24th century?

Robert: I would never live in the 24th century! I fucking HATE "The Next Generation". Only classic!

Nicole: [entering, modeling outfit] What do you think?

Claire: Classy. Yet slutty.

Nicole: I know!

[to Rachel]

Nicole: I told you she'd love it!

Rachel: She said it was slutty.

Nicole: And classy.

Claire: Great, now I'm late for my party, and I'm in a shitty mood. Thanks.

Claire: Gee, it's so quiet in here you could hear a fish fart.

Claire: In an old article of yours I found on the internet, you said: There's something authentic in every forgery. What did you mean?

Virgil Oldman: When simulating another's work the forger can't resist the temptation to put in something of himself. Often it's just a trifle, a detail of no interest. One unsuspected stroke, by which the forger inevitably ends up betraying himself, and revealing his own utterly authentic sensibilities.

Claire: I'm not in the habit of speaking to people very much.

Virgil Oldman: Believe me, that's considerable stroke of good fortune. Talking to people is extremely perilous. However, it was you who made the call, so you're running the risk.

Claire: Look, Mack, I don't even know what I'm gonna say from one second to the next. The world doesn't make any sense to me any more. What's going on? There are babies lying around in the streets. There are people living in boxes. There are people ready to shoot you if you look at them. And we're getting used to it. The world is so nuts, it makes me wonder about all the choices that we've made.

Mack: I'm getting a headache.

Claire: No, you're not.

Mack: I'm not?

Claire: No and I'll tell you why I reject your headache Mac, because it's inappropriate. If I am right and these events are truly miracles, then it's an innapropriate response to get a headache in the presence of a miracle.

Claire: Mack, you think that I want that baby because l've got some hole in my life or I think I'm gonna have some hole in my life, but that's not it. Or if it is it, it's just a part of it. That baby needs someone to love it and take care of it. Something has happened. You can't go back and have it not happen. Some kind of connection has been made. lt has to be played out. What if these are miracles, Mack? Maybe we don't have any experience with miracles, so we're slow to recognise them.

[At a Lakers game]

Claire: C'mon! Take it to the hole!

Raymond: Oh, baby! I love it when you talk dirty!

[Eugene is drinking cough syrup]

Claire: Funny, I didn't hear you coughing.

Eugene: Alone at last!

Claire: You must be somebody who's always on the lookout for a new way to fuck up.

Eugene: Why is it that you always find me so objectionable?

Claire: Other than the fact that you're a drug addict and the only patients you treat are criminals?

Eugene: You mean your associates? I'm not a drug addict. I take drugs to feel normal, to get level. I regulate my intake very precisely.

Claire: I'm sorry, that's right, you're a highly trained professional. You should know.

Eugene: No, you were actually right the first time- I'm just basically always looking for a new way to fuck up.

Eugene: I don't know what I'm doing here.

Claire: You're dancing.

Eugene: That's a matter of opinion.

Claire: Stop the car!

Raymond: Stop the car? THIS IS A CAR CHASE! I went to considerable expense to set this up. We can't just stop!

Eugene: Thanks for getting shot.

Claire: Anytime.

Raymond: You've got to EMBRACE your criminal self!

Claire: Maybe he doesn't have a criminal self.

Claire: How did you lose your license?

Eugene: I was operating on a patient and the patient died.

Claire: Was it your fault?

Eugene: I was under the influence of narcotics and methamphetamines at the time, so yes, you could say it was my fault.

Claire: How long ago was it?

Eugene: Ten months, five days... what time is it now?

Claire: Where are we?

Eugene Sands: My family's summer home. When I was a kid, whenever a friend of mine would get shot, I'd bring him here.

Claire: Is that you in picture?

Eugene: The Wall of Shame

Jack: What kind of movies do you prefer, the ones with the sad endings or the happy ones?

Claire: The sad ones definitely. I like movies that make me cry.

Jack: Then you're with the right guy.

Jack: You're finished with me right?

Claire: [nods no]

Jack: Not the man you'd hoped I'd be?

Claire: [nods yes]

Jack: It's better this way, ok? Now stop crying, I don't deserve your tears.

Claire: You've been lying to me from the start haven't you?

Jack: Look I just wanted to fuck you, that's all it was.

Claire: When you said you loved me was that a lie too? Nothing was true. Just lies, just fucking lies.

Jack: Look I don't love anyone Claire, and you're hurt cause the love story that you made up for yourself fell apart, and it's all in your mind.

Claire: I'm dead.

Jack: Don't be so dramatic.

Claire: He's really shy. Jack play's tough, but if he could just break out of his hard guy routine he could do anything. Jack's not dumb.

Debbie: I'm talking about Jack, he's the one that's going to hell.

Claire: Well maybe I want him to take me with him.

Jack: Same shit, different day.

Claire: No it's not. You don't really think it's the same sun that rises every morning do you? There are 365 suns, a different one for each day.

Jack: What happens on a leap year? You stay in bed all day?

Claire: [smiles] Staying in bed doesn't hurt... much.

Jack: Will you be here when I get back?

Claire: Do you want me to be?

Jack: Yes.

Jack: Did you read it?

Claire: Yeah, I did.

Jack: And?

Claire: I don't blame you you know, I never did.

Jack: [swallows]

Claire: And going to the dark side of the moon wasn't the worst thing.

Jack: What was?

Claire: Going alone.

Jack: What are we gonna do? You're the smart one, help me out.

Claire: You do what all good writers do, you write a new book.

Jack: I've slept with more than 200 women.

Claire: [Laughs] 200? Well Will Chamberlin said he slept with 20,000, so that kinda makes you look like a punk.

Jack: You know something...You really have a dumb laugh.

Claire: Hey listen, just cause I'm talking to you doesn't mean that I'm on the market. I have a boyfriend.

Jack: Sure you do, He's probably one of those piss ant preppy motherfu**ers who sh**s his pants every time Daddy's check is a day late.

Claire: He loves me.

Jack: Oh he loves you...

Claire: I don't think that's anything you know about.

Jack: Loves just a 4 letter word...

Claire: You can't smoke in here.

Jack: Oh No?

[Pulls an ashtray out of his pocket and sets it on the table]

Jack: Now I can.

Claire: So what do you like? Besides smoking?

Jack: What do I like? Boxer who can hook off the jab. Oysters, Rockafeller. Rugrats. Anything that gives me a kick.

Claire: And you make a living out of that?

Jack: Uh huh, Not bad. Some nights I go out with Charlie and I rip off forigen business men. You should turn me into the police, you'd be doing the world a favor.

Claire: Its too late. Someone already did. I'm an undercover agent for the RICO squad.

Howard: [from the trailer]

[to love personified by Claire on his late daughter]

Howard: I FELT YOU Everyday When She

[Olivia]

Howard: Laughed... And You BROKE MY HEART!

Claire: [Reassuring] I Was THERE In Her LAUGH! But I'm Also HERE NOW In Your PAIN!

Claire: What was that thing you said about Einstein in there?

Raffi: Einstein called time a stubbornly persistant illusion.

Claire: Whats that even mean

Raffi: Time doesn't go from January to December, or from noon to midnight. You know we all just make it that way in our heads.

Claire: hats absurd! Try telling that to a person who's an hour late to a wedding, or that's just been sentence to 20 years in jail.

Raffi: Or someone fighting the baby clock

Claire: I just... Look, uh, this doesn't feel right.

Simon: I know. But when something starts with a six-year-old dying, nothing is gonna feel right.

Raffi: Your children don't have to come from you. They go through you. So, I wouldn't consider the battle with time over just yet.

Claire: I thought time wasn't linear. I thought it was an illusion.

Raffi: Maybe that was just bullshit, Claire. Maybe that was just acting.

[walks away]

Claire: It must be difficult. I do volunteer work with some disadvantaged women and a few of them have lost their husbands and they find it very hard.

[Amelia's eyes fill with tears and she stares off into the void, ignoring the conversation]

Claire: How's Richard's merger going?

Eastern Suburbs Mum: Oh, good. I mean, his workload's just ballooned. I've got the kids 24/7, it feels like!

Claire: Tell me about it! I don't even have time to go to the gym anymore! It's ridiculous!

Amelia: [loud, sarcastic and hostile] That's a real tragedy! Not having time to go to the gym anymore? How do you cope? You must have SO much to talk about with those poor disadvantaged women.

[the other party guests stare at Amelia with pity]

Justine: The earth is evil. We don't need to grieve for it.

Claire: What?

Justine: Nobody will miss it.

Claire: But where would Leo grow?

Justine: All I know is, life on earth is evil.

Claire: Then maybe life somewhere else.

Justine: But there isn't.

Claire: How do you know?

Justine: Because I know things.

Claire: Oh yes, you always imagined you did.

Justine: I know we're alone.

Claire: I don't think you know that at all.

Justine: 678. The bean lottery. Nobody guessed the amount of beans in the bottle.

Claire: No, that's right.

Justine: But I know. 678.

Claire: Well, perhaps. But what does that prove?

Justine: That I know things. And when I say we're alone, we're alone. Life is only on earth, and not for long.

Justine: You want to meet on the terrace, and sip wine, the three of us?

Claire: It would make me happy.

Justine: Do you know what I think of your plan?

Claire: No. I was hoping that you might like it.

Justine: I think it's a piece of shit.

Claire: Please, Justine. I just want it to be nice...

Justine: Nice? Why don't we meet on the fucking toilet?

Claire: Fine, then - let's not...

Justine: You're damn right let's not!

Claire: I really hate you sometimes...

Justine: But I tried, Claire.

Claire: You did. I know you did.

[repeated line]

Claire: I really hate you sometimes, Justine...

Claire: A man got you pregnant.

Julia: Yeah.

Claire: They always do.

Julia: [lowkey] Yeah.

Peyton: My husband was my only family. He's the only one who really understood me... He took care of me. He was murdered.

Claire: Murdered?

Peyton: They never caught who did it. But I firmly believe, what goes around comes around.

Claire: She's Doctor Mott's widow, Michael!

Michael Bartel: Marlene, I think I'm gonna bum one of these.

[Takes one of her cigarettes]

Claire: You are such a bad influence. He only smokes around you now.

Michael Bartel: Honey, what's the matter?

Claire: Michael, how could you do this?

Michael Bartel: What are you talking about?

Claire: You've been lying to me.

Michael Bartel: Honey, just calm down.

Claire: Don't tell me to calm down, you son-of-a-bitch!

Michael Bartel: Honey, you don't understand.

Claire: I understand. You've been fucking Marlene!

Michael Bartel: All right, Claire, that's enough! There are people in there.

Claire: What are you talking about?

Michael Bartel: Talking about a surprise party.

Claire: Oh my God.

Michael Bartel: Everybody's in there.

[she is greeted by all the guests saying 'surprise!' in affected unison. Then, Marlene walks out]

Claire: Did you use that conditioner I brought you?

Catherine: No. Shit. I forgot.

Claire: Well, it's my favorite. You'll love it, Katie. I want you to try it.

Catherine: I'll try it next time.

Claire: You'll like it. It has jojoba.

Catherine: What is jojoba?

Claire: It's something they put in for healthy hair.

Catherine: Hair is dead.

Claire: What?

Catherine: It's... It's dead tissue. You can't make it healthy.

Claire: Whatever. It's good for your hair.

Catherine: Like what? A chemical?

Claire: No. It's organic.

Catherine: It can be organic and still be a chemical.

Claire: I don't know what it is.

Catherine: Heard of organic chemistry?

Claire: It makes my hair look, smell and feel good, and that is the extent of my information about it. You might like it if you decide to use it.

Catherine: Thanks. I'll try it.

Claire: [reacting to Catherine and Hal's kiss] What's going on?

Zach Elliot: It's something you don't have any control over. I mean, whether you're born with it or acquire it, who knows? But there's something in me that needs to be with a man.

Claire: My God!

Zach Elliot: Maybe it's his strength, his attitude. Maybe he's everything I'm not, I don't know. Maybe it's brotherhood, bonding, release. Maybe it's just the need for another man's approval. But it's that feeling...

Claire: Stop it! God!

Claire: [Drops plate to get Zack's attention] All right, look. We're gonna cut this out and we're gonna talk. You cannot do this to me... it's not fair. Now, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to hold you. I don't know whether I should even try to hold you. God, Zack! We've always gotten each other through, because we've never been afraid to share. You've closed yourself off and I feel helpless. I don't know what to do. You can't tell me. Are you sick? Are you in trouble? Is there another woman? Look, whatever it is, I can handle it. I can handle it, no matter what it is. But I cannot handle the silence.

Claire: Crepe paper is a bitch to tear.

Claire: Learn to think as those around you think and you can pass yourself off as anything. You think outsiders are any less crazy than we are?

Claire: If someone with only a short time to live, spends it watching a man sleeping, I'd say that's love.

Claire: [about Edward] No use getting interested in him. He doesn't care about anybody.

Veronika: I'm not interested in anyone, either.

Claire: [innocently] Not even me?

Claire: YOU THINK YOU CAN SCARE ME, YOU SICK FUCK!

[crying]

Claire: Get out of my brain.

Claire: Uh, yeah. I wrote that. But somebody else made me do it.

[Starts laughing]

Vivian Thompson: I don't like you anymore!

[points gun at Claire]

Claire: No, no. I don't die here. I die in the lake, remember?

Vivian Thompson: Oh yeah.

[points the gun at Claire's foot, instead]

Vivian Thompson: Maybe you develop a limp.

[first lines]

Claire: [Helping daughter rehearse lines from Snow White while walking through trees by lake]

[In sing-song voice]

Claire: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of us all?

Rebecca Cooper: [Skipping through trees by lake]

[In sing-song voice]

Rebecca Cooper: You're the fairest in this hall but Snow WHITE is THE...

Claire: [laughs] Come on Rebecca, forget it's a play. Just, say it like you're saying it to me.

Rebecca Cooper: [sing-song voice] Snow White's the fairest of them all.

Claire: And again.

[Looks at daughter]

Claire: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of us all?

Rebecca Cooper: [At end of trees, stops and looks at mom] You're the fairest in

[interrupted by mom]

Claire: [Interrupts daughter. Touches index finger to daughter's forehead in a pointing gesture] Wrong!

[Smiles and grabs daughter's chin affectionately with index finger and thumb while daughter looks at her and smiles]

Claire: You are.

Claire: Where's Ruby Vivian?

Vivian Thompson: Ruby is, Ruby is, I'm not tellin' 'til you give me the gun.

Vivian Thompson: You want to come over to my place, Claire? I have to warn you, though, it's haunted.

Claire: Who's it haunted by?

Vivian Thompson: You.

[last lines]

Joe: I'm still... I still...

Claire: Don't, Joey.

Joe: I made it so complicated, and... And it doesn't need to be complicated. It's not complicated. It's really... I don't know what to say.

Claire: Don't say anything... Don't say anything...

Todd: Hey Claire! Sweet shades.

Claire: Yeah, I'm going for the Bono look.

Claire: Somewhere... I don't know where... I turned a corner and there was no turning back. Somewhere I made a mistake.

Kit: Don't mourn it, sweet, it's all right. The marvellous thing about making mistakes is that you can keep making them, the same ones, over and over again.

Claire: I remember coming here, and I remember nothing else.

[last lines]

Claire: Do you think we fell in love with too much?

Russell Price: I'd do it again.

Claire: You're going to love this war...

Russell Price: Hmmm.

Claire: Good guys, bad guys and cheap shrimp.

Claire: Did you dream about Miss Panama last night?

Russell Price: No, I dreamed about you.

Claire: Have a good time?

Russell Price: Yeah, and you did too!

Claire: You chose the wrong side.

Marcel Jazy: In twenty years we shall know who's right.

Woman in refugee camp: [looking at picture of dead Alex Grazier on TV] Did you know the man who was killed?

Claire: [she nods 'yes']

Woman in refugee camp: Fifty thousand Nicaraguans have died and now a Yankee. Perhaps now America will be outraged at what has happened here.

Claire: Perhaps they will.

Woman in refugee camp: Maybe we should have killed an American journalist fifty years ago.

Alex Grazier: [looking at his face in a mirror] You were right. Everybody was right.

Claire: About what?

Alex Grazier: These cheekbones. What do you think of them?

Claire: I like your cheekbones, Alex. Is there anything the matter?

Alex Grazier: It's a face made for television.

Claire: [slightly taken aback] You mean you decided to go with the Network?

Alex Grazier: Yeah... They're gonna' give me 10 grand a week to read the news. I'll be in 60 million homes every night. When I take a breath, all of America will take a breath. When my voice trembles, all of America will tremble. I'm gonna' be a star. My vocal inflection will be more important than who controls Congress.

Claire: [grinning] And your name will become a household word.

Alex Grazier: [grinning] Yeah, I'll become a household word.

Claire: [He and Claire are at a camp where Rafael is supposedly holed up] What is it?

Russell Price: Rafael is dead. I can smell it.

Alex Grazier: [indicating Russell] I left this country because of this man. I came back because of this man. Now the cutest couple in town has got me lookin' up a horse's ass, on a midnight tour of Managua. What's goin' on?

Claire: [long pause] Rafael is dead.

Hub Kittle: [glibly offering condolences to Claire over Alex's death] Jesus Christ, Claire, a human tragedy. What can I say?

Claire: [angrily brushes past him] Fuck off, Hub.

[last lines]

Claire: We thought you left us. That you'd, um... We were worried.

Nathan: I know. But don't be scared. I'm here now. I'll never leave you again. I'm here.

Claire: [talking to Chappellet] You never had any real education, did you? All you ever had were your skis... and that's not enough.

Claire: Look, you finished fourth in one race. Don't expect to be given the world.

Chappellet: [testily] I don't expect to be given anything!

Claire: Good. Get in the bus.

Chappellet: If I could have started five places ahead - just five - then I would've at least had good snow. I wouldn't have lost my balance in the ruts. I wouldn't have had to pull so hard after...

Claire: No.

Chappellet: What do you mean "no"? If I'd have started in the first 15, I could've won it.

Claire: No. You just weren't good enough. That's all. You lost your strength, and then the bumps took you out. That's it. That's all there was to it. You gotta' have your strength right up to the end. These guys aren't amateurs. They're national heroes. You're trying to beat them out of their way of life. You're just not strong enough.

Chappellet: [a bit sarcastically] Well, I'll take a Charles Atlas course this summer and build myself up, all right?

Claire: [not finding the sarcasm terribly amusing] Okay.

Claire: [Making some public appearances before various business groups in an effort to garner financial support for the U.S. ski team] The Europeans simply can't understand why... this country doesn't turn out the world's greatest ski teams. And I'm ashamed to tell 'em the truth. We have the mountains, we have the men, we have the muscle. We don't have the money in this richest nation in the world. Every racer... on a well-equipped winning team... is a foreign sales representative for U.S. ski products. These fine young competitors that we are training are roving ambassadors for the American way of life. Thanks a lot.

Claire: You don't know me. You don't know anything about me.

Celia: Don't I, now?

Claire: [annoyed by Michael, to Donna] Michael is making me so darn mad. And on top of that, I have killer cramps!

Donna: [seeing prom] You gotta hand it to Crissy, though. This is amazing!

Claire: Does this mean we can't make fun of her anymore?

Zoe: One, never be loud

Claire: I know you know the rules

Zoe: Two, never lose control. Three, never open the door. Four, never talk about the breathers.

Cassidy: [while returning to the party] Where is everybody?

Claire: Probably dead.

Jessica: Yeah, and the corpses drove their cars home, idiot!

Jessica: [Impatiently] What?

Claire: I keep thinking about that text.

Jessica: [sighs] Claire! Garrett is a little bitch. He says we made him kill Megan? As if. Seriously, Clair, grow a pair.

Claire: Jessica, I've always had your back.

Jessica: But you've never had a backbone.

Brice: Try not to fraternize with the men. They can be a little... strange.

Claire: Strange, as in superstitious?

Brice: As in "strange."

[last lines]

Claire: You say whatever you have to say, Ensign. I'll always believe you were brought back here for a reason.

Claire: Never skimp on bread; you'll always regret it.

Claire: [speaking on cell phone] What I mean is, that he jumped into the lake, drowned, and woke up trying to save Jennifer.

Matt: Isn't Jennifer dead at this point?

April: Claire, darling. So what's with you advising Neil to break up with me?

Claire: [drunk] He broke up with you?

April: Yes, he did.

Claire: Well, good for him.

April: Good for him? Why are you all of a sudden interested in my love life?

Claire: First, I'd be careful in calling it a love life. Second, Neil is my friend. I thought I'd crack the door, let a little light in. I'd do the same for you, April.

April: [scoff] Really? Ooh, this is good, Claire. Let me just absorb this.

Claire: You're wrong for Neil! He deserves better. Something a little more dignified.

April: You know, you're right actually, 'cause I thought you and Neil would make such a good couple.

Claire: No. No, no. I would never fuck my best friend's boyfriend.

April: Mm, I would!

Claire: I've got spirit, I've got zest I do commercials for Tampax & Crest. I'm beautiful and slender with silicon breasts. My measurement check ups always past the test. You see me in magazines, You watch me on TV. Don't you freaks wish you were me? I make bush loads of money No talent, no brains. While poets and artists go slowly insane. I'm the American dream every man wants me. I share myself with the world It's ecstasy. Shopping, the gym, my finances parents are coming for dinner Tanning salons, Bikini waxes, Endless appointments, Diet pill stashes Don't you wish you were me?

Claire: I wasn't expecting anything anyway.

Jay: Well good. Just keep it that way, and we'll get a long just fine.

[first lines]

Claire: I'm one of the most hated people in the world. Nobody likes me. People run from me like the plague. Give me the finger. Insult me. Verbally abuse me.

[tickets a car]

Owner of the Bug: [running toward his car] Hey! Hey, come on, I'm here.

Claire: Sorry.

Owner of the Bug: Fuck you!

[last lines]

Claire: Life goes on. And it's its beauty I guess.

[nearly gets hit by a passing car]

Claire: What is that? What are you missing, Miles?

Miles: I don't know. You know, I wake up every morning. And I think about blowing my brains out. And I don't know why.

Maxine: You sure married into a den of thieves.

Claire: I like to think of them as highwaymen.

Maxine: And bank robbers now.

Maxine: What now?

Claire: Kiss the bastards goodbye, then have a drink might be traditional at this point, I think.

Bridget: I ain't gonna kiss no dead man, honey.