Cindy Campbell Quotes in Scary Movie (2000)

Homeless Man: You got a dollar?

Buffy Gilmore: Get away from me, you bum.

Cindy Campbell: Buffy, can't you see he's hungry? Here you go, sir, a nice sandwich.

Homeless Man: I said a dollar, bitch.

Cindy Campbell: I thought you loved me.

Bobby: Oh, I did, baby, I did. But being in abstinence makes you wonder new things about yourself. That's right Cindy, I'm gay. And in case you haven't noticed, so is Ray.

Ray: What? I ain't gay!

Bobby: What are you talking about? You took me to that club.

Ray: So? They play good music.

Bobby: What about our trip to San Francisco?

Ray: I wanted to go shopping.

Bobby: [on the verge of tears] But... you made love to me.

Ray: First of all, you sucked my...

Bobby: Whatever!

Cindy Campbell: You guys are psychos! You've watched too many TV shows!

Ray: No! Watching TV shows doesn't create psycho killers. Canceling TV shows does!

[while stabbing Bobby]

Ray: I mean the Wayans Brothers was a good show, man! It was a good show, but we've never even got a final episode!

[after hitting a fisherman crossing the road]

Cindy Campbell: We have to call the police!

Ray: No way! I ain't going to jail!

Greg: He's right! Cindy, do you know what they do to young boys in prison? All of those sex-starved convicts just waiting for a fresh piece of meat?

Ray: Hey, Cindy's right. Maybe we should call the police.

The Killer: Do you know where I am?

[Feet are sticking out from behind couch, and are kicking up and down]

Cindy Campbell: Um, you're behind the couch, I can see your feet.

The Killer: [Killer sticks head up and sees his feet. He grabs his head] D'oh!

The Killer: Okay,okay close your eyes!

[Cindy closes her eyes, and the killer tries to hide under the carpet, but then goes behind the curtains]

The Killer: Now do you know where I am?

[Cindy opens her eyes]

Cindy Campbell: Ray, if you see Bobby, will you tell him that I love him?

Ray: Okay, if I see Bobby, I'll tell him I love him.

Cindy Campbell: Someone murdered my friends!

Cindy's Dad: Yeah! And the sick bastard planted drugs all over the house!

Shorty: Yo, man. It's like I seen all this shit before.

Cindy Campbell: They had a killer at you high school, Shorty?

Shorty: No, it was in that movie- Scream. Same dialogue everything. That shit is ill!

Cindy's Dad: I thought I heard screaming in here!

Cindy Campbell: No, no daddy.

Cindy's Dad: No, Maybe it could have been the crack I smoked earlier.

Shorty: Theres blood, guts and asses everywhere, someone's gone all crazy, son!

Bobby: We all go a little crazy sometimes.

[Bobby shoots Shorty in the chest]

Cindy Campbell: Bobby, no!

Shorty: [Lying on the ground] Oh, Cindy he got me in the lung.

[Smoke is coming out of the wound]

Shorty: Wanna hit this shit?

Cindy's Dad: Oh you are my little girl, I love you so much that I left you a little something in the coffee can. But you have to remember to step on it before you sell it. Now, what are you going to cut it with?

Cindy Campbell: Um... baking...

Cindy's Dad: Baking soda. Not baking powder. Because baking powder guys will have muffins growing out of their noses.

Cindy's Dad: You love that joke, honey. You've loved it since you were two years old.

Cindy Campbell: Look, if it's about that time I puked green slime and masturbated with a crucifix, it was my first keg party, Bobby!

[after Miss Mann's "secret" is apparent to Cindy]

Miss Mann: Sometimes we do things we're not so proud of. Some for money, others to gain the athletic edge on the competition. Sometimes those secrets come back to haunt us. Do you know what I mean?

Cindy Campbell: Yes I do, uh, Miss Mann. Thanks for ball - I mean all your help. I have to go to class.

Miss Mann: Anytime dear.

Cindy Campbell: Why are you doing this?

Bobby: Why? Why? You hear that, Ray. I think she wants a motive.

Bobby: Did Scream have a plot?

Ray: No.

Bobby: Did I Know What You Did Last Summer make any sense? Don't think so. And what about the sequel? What the hell was with that fat, white Jamaican kid?

Ray: Oh, I want to kill that motherfucker.

Cindy Campbell: It was bad casting, Bobby.

Sheriff: How are you today Cindy?

Cindy Campbell: Good, officer, how are you?

Sheriff: Bloated, constipated, got a boil on my ass the size of a walnut - you know, the usual.

Cindy Campbell: [before pushing a dead fisherman in the water] Don't you think we should check his wallet first?

Buffy Gilmore: For what?

Brenda: Shit, he might have some money.

Brenda: Well, we already committed murder, we might as well rob his ass.

Cindy Campbell: Greg, you're not the only one who got one.

Greg: What do you mean, Bobby's got a baby-dick too?

Cindy Campbell: No, the note.

Cindy Campbell: What's wrong? Bobby, she's gone and she's not coming back.

Bobby: It's been over a year now, Cindy!

Cindy Campbell: But Ginger was such an important part of the Spice Girls.

Cindy Campbell: Brenda! The monster is gonna kill us!

Brenda Meeks: IT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN YOU IF YOU HAD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Ghost Voice: Cindy! I want you to know to what happened to me... Look in the music room! Check the music room!

Cindy Campbell: Where are you?

Ghost Voice: Check the fucking music room!

Cindy Campbell: [singing terribly along with the radio to Vitamin C and swerving all over the road] As we go on! We remember! All the time we! Spent To-geee-therrr! And as the time goes...

[suddenly the music comes to an abrupt stop]

Colleen Fitzpatrick: [voice] Hey! Will you shut the fuck up and let me sing?

Cindy Campbell: You know, you really are my best friend, Cindy.

Cindy Campbell: Thanks, Brenda.

Buddy: Hey are you guys okay?

Brenda Meeks: Hell, yeah. It's gonna take more than a bag of bones to scare me.

Hell House Ghost: Wedgie!

Cindy Campbell: Oh my God! Brenda, do something!

Brenda Meeks: Okay!

Hell House Ghost: [Brenda runs away]

Cindy Campbell: I thought I was your best friend?

Brenda Meeks: Was. I'ma miss you, girl!

Hanson: Ah, it's Cindy. Say "Helloo" to Cindy, Shorty.

Shorty Meeks: Helloo... Cindy.

[Cindy looks at the bottles on the table]

Cindy Campbell: Oh, God. Morphine, chloroform, horse tranquilizers! You drugged him!

Hanson: I did not! That's all his stuff!

Shorty Meeks: Woooooh!

Cindy Campbell: Oh, Shorty!

Shorty Meeks: Cindy!

Cindy Campbell: There's a monster chasing me, what are we gonna do?

Shorty Meeks: Eeeh, eeh... I got it!

[Shoves Cindy out of the room and locks the door]

Cindy Campbell: [while fighting the possessed cat] Help! My pussy's gone crazy!

Cindy Campbell: Moo motherfucker, moo!

Cindy Campbell: [after she punched Buddy] You gotta be quicker than that, pencil dick.

Cindy Campbell: [Sees the parrot] Hi little guy, look at you!

Little Bird: Little? I'm not little, I'm hung like a bull lady! Check it out, you ever seen a bird get this big? Too much for ya, huh baby?

Cindy Campbell: Yeah...

Little Bird: Alright well step off then sweet cheeks! Come back when you want some real love!

Cindy Campbell: K...

[Walks away]

Little Bird: Fuckin tease.

Buddy: Hey, Cind.

Cindy Campbell: Hey, Buddy.

Buddy: [punches her in the boob] Open chest! Oh, come on. You gotta be quicker than that A cup.

[Cindy crawls up]

Theo: Hey, guys.

[all the guys say hello and look at her sexually]

Theo: Well, are you boys gonna sit there with your mouths open or is someone gonna offer me a seat?

[everyone pushes their chairs towards her]

Dwight Hartman: [Dwight pushes wheelchair towards her and sits on Ray's leg] I warmed it up for you. It's the best seat in the house.

Ray Wilkins: Second best.

[Ray touches Dwight's hair]

Cindy Campbell: We're all gonna die!

Little Bird: Oh no, the rocket scientist! You're fucked!

Brenda: [having a nightmare] Lil' Kim- Lil' Kim got my sandwich. Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! R.Kelly, don't pee on me! MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS! Where are we?

Cindy Campbell: I'm not sure, but I think were close. It's supposed to be near mile 62.

Brenda: Is something wrong?

Cindy Campbell: No, it's just... I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. Oh, you'd love him, Brenda.

Brenda: What's his name? I might've already loved him.

Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan.

Brenda: Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy?

Cindy Campbell: No... No.

Cindy Campbell: [relieved] But he is the kind of guy I'd like to share the rest of my life with.

[From Trailer]

Tom Ryan: [after hitting Cindy with a baseball] Oh, hey, I'm sorry!

Cindy Campbell: Oh, it's okay. I've taken balls to the face before.

Saw Villain: Let the game begin.

Cindy Campbell: I... I don't get.

Saw Villain: Okay... maybe this will help you "see."

[a knife comes out from the wall]

Cindy Campbell: You want me to cut something?

Saw Villain: That should be obvious, yes.

[she goes to cut her wrist]

Saw Villain: No.

[she reaches out to cut Brenda's shoulder]

Saw Villain: No! The key is behind your eye, okay?

[Unrated Version]

Tom Ryan: I've never been a good parent. Just ask my son.

Cindy Campbell: I did. What exactly is an "cock monger"?

Tom Ryan: That's not important right now.

Cindy Campbell: Last night I saw a face.

Tom Ryan: Did it have a nose?

Cindy Campbell: Well... yeah.

Tom Ryan: That does sound like a face.

Tom Ryan: I'm not a very good father. Just ask my son.

Cindy Campbell: I did. What exactly is a "taint-licker"?

Tom Ryan: That's not important right now.

Cindy Campbell: That last lightning bolt smelled like...

Rachel: ...A giant turd...

Tom Ryan: Yeah... the lightning...

Cindy Campbell: Oh, my God!

Mr. Koji: Don't mind her. She slip and fall.

Tom Ryan: [a football just hit Cindy] Oh, my God! I'm so sorry!

Cindy Campbell: [Raspy voice] It's okay. My throat cushioned the blow.

Brenda Meeks: [after greeting Cindy] Cindy! Oh, it's been so long.

Cindy Campbell: Brenda, I thought you were dead.

Brenda Meeks: Oh, I thought you were dead, too!

Cindy Campbell: Oh, Brenda, I know you'd love him.

Brenda Meeks: What's his name, I may have already loved him.

Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan.

Brenda Meeks: Yep, did him. Big Chinese dude, right?

Tom Ryan: I've never been a good parent. Just ask my son.

Cindy Campbell: I did. What exactly is an "Ass Clown"?

Tom Ryan: That's not important right now.

Cindy Campbell: Okay Mrs. Norris, time to dig out that dootie bubble...

Cindy Campbell: [to Tom] I was married once...

Cindy's Husband: [Flashback] Get out the way, bitch!

Cindy Campbell: Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit!

Cindy's Husband: Shut yo ass up, snow ho!

[Cindy throws glass bottle]

Cindy Campbell: [flashback ends] Well, actually, married twice.

Cindy Campbell: It looks like we have a lot in...

Tom Ryan: ...common.

Cindy Campbell: We're already finishing each other's...

Tom Ryan: ...dinner!

Cindy Campbell: ...sentences.

Brenda Meeks: Pussy.

Cindy Campbell: Brenda!

Brenda Meeks: What? 50 Cent got shot nine times and he's still walking around!