Christopher Quotes in O Grilo Feliz (2001)

[from English version]

Leonardo: Are you gonna stop singing?

Christopher: No, a cricket can stop hopping. But singing? Never.

Barnaby: [slurping on a drink] And even hopping can be dangerous.

Christopher Gardner: [after playing basket ball] Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?

Christopher: All right.

Christopher Gardner: You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.

Christopher: [while walking past a bus and to sell a bone density scanner] Hey dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said "Do you need help?" and the man said "God will save me". Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he said "God will save me", then he drowned and went to Heaven. Then the man told God, "God, why didn't you save me?" and God said "I sent you two boats, you dummy!"

[last lines]

Christopher Gardner: How many planets are there?

Christopher: Um... 7?

Christopher Gardner: Seven? Nine! OK, who's the king of the jungle?

Christopher: The gorilla?

Christopher Gardner: Gorilla? Nope. Lion.

Christopher: Yeah, lion, lion. You wanna hear something funny?

Christopher Gardner: OK.

Christopher: Knock knock.

Christopher Gardner: Who's there?

Christopher: [starts be to become out of view] Shelby.

Christopher Gardner: Shelby who?

Christopher: Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes, Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes!

Christopher Gardner: Hey, that's good.

Christopher: Knock knock.

Christopher Gardner: Who's there?

Christopher: Nobody.

Christopher Gardner: Nobody who?

[Christopher doesn't respond]

Christopher Gardner: Nobody who?

[Christopher still doesn't respond]

Christopher Gardner: A-ha-ha, that's a good one, I like that!

Christopher Gardner: [walking to Walter Ribbon's home] Probably means there's a good chance. Possibly means we might or we might not.

Christopher: Okay.

Christopher Gardner: So, what does probably mean?

Christopher: It means we have a good chance.

Christopher Gardner: And what does possibly mean?

Christopher: I know what it means! It means we're *not* going to the game.

Christopher Gardner: [while bringing Christopher to daycare, about the spelling mistakes in the graffiti of a building] It's not H-A-P-P-Y-N-E-S-S Happiness is spelled with an "I" instead of a "Y"

Christopher: Oh, okay. Is "Fuck" spelled right?

Christopher Gardner: Um, yes. "Fuck" is spelled right but you shouldn't use that word.

Christopher: Why? What's it mean?

Christopher Gardner: [going inside the daycare] It's, um, an adult word used to express anger and, uh, other things. But it's an adult word. It's spelled right, but don't use it.

Christopher: [to his father, sleeping next to other homeless people] You're a good papa.

Christopher: [while eating in a restaurant] What are you doing?

Christopher Gardner: Paying a parking ticket.

Christopher: ...But we don't have a car anymore.

Christopher Gardner: Yeah, I know...

Christopher Gardner: [in an empty subway] You gotta trust me, all right?

Christopher: I trust you.

Christopher Gardner: 'Cause I'm getting a better job

[repeated line to his father Christopher Sr]

Christopher: Where are we going?

Christopher: As usual, she has the last word.

Christina: Does she?

Lawyer: [reading from Joan's will after her death] It is my intention to make no provision herein for my son Christopher or my daughter Christina, for reasons which are well known to them.

Christopher: What reasons?

Christina: (laughing bitterly) Jesus Christ.

Christopher: As usual, she has the last word.

Christina: Does she? Does she?

Jerry Siegel: What press are you affiliated with?

Ty: I'm 10.

Jerry Siegel: What about your parents, are they Democrat or Republican?

Ty: What's the difference these days?

Christopher: I love this kid.

Jerry Siegel: Well, what's not to love.

[Running after Marisa when she leaves a benefit early]

Christopher: Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Do you have somewhere else you have to be?

Marisa: No, I just have to leave.

Christopher: Well, I don't think you're leaving. I think you're running. And what I can't figure out is, are you running towards something you want? Or are you running away from something you're afraid to want?

Marisa: Look, I've made so many mistakes already. I just don't want to make it worse.

Christopher: You won't. I promise.

Marisa: There's something you don't know, ok? Oh, God. How do I tell you this? Look, the first time that you saw me I was...

Christopher: You were mesmerizing.

Marisa: Marisa Ventura. Housekeeping.

Christopher: Chris Marshall. Candidate for Senate. I'd appreciate your vote.

Marisa: We'll see.

[meeting Marisa's son, Ty]

Christopher: I'm Chris.

Jerry Siegel: I'm bald and no one in particular.

Ty: I know who you are.

Christopher: Yeah? What do you know?

Ty: I know that you're the state assemblyman. I know that you're thinking of running for Senator. I know your voting record and your consistent stand on environmental causes.

Marisa: Look, you have to listen to me, I know you're used to getting your way.

Christopher: Yeah, until I met you.

Marisa: There's millions of women who are just dying for you to look their way.

Christopher: [Laughing] Yeah? Then why are you making me work so hard?

Jerry Siegel: Who the hell is she?

Christopher: I'll tell you who she isn't. She isn't like anyone I've ever met before. And she isn't a phony. I'll make you a deal, wonder man. You want me at the benefit tomorrow night? Then get her to go, and I swear to God, I'll shake any part of Maddox's body you want me to. Deal?

Jerry Siegel: Deal. All right. Sure. Okay.

Marisa: There was a part of me that wanted to know what it felt like, to have someone like you look at me the way you did just once. And I'm sorry. Truly. If I could rewind the past week, I would.

Christopher: Was any of it real?

Marisa: Yeah, it was real. It was so real I wondered how I was ever gunna give you up. But I had to give you up. That was the plan. And then, last night, I couldn't.

Christopher: [reading about himself in the paper] "Sentimental favorite and playboy politico, Assemblyman Chris Marshall"... guess you missed a few words there, Jer.

Christopher: Where are you going?

Jerry Siegel: That depends. Where are you going?

Christopher: Bathroom. Alone.

Jerry Siegel: Yeah. Fine. Go. Great. Yeah. Sure.

Christopher: Thank you.

Jerry Siegel: Call me if you need anything.

Christopher: He's friendly. His name's Rufas. So what are you listening to?

Ty: "The Best Of Bread".

Christopher: "Best Of Bread"? Interesting. What's your name?

Ty: Ty.

Christopher: Nice to meet you, Ty.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Hi, honey.

[to Marisa]

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: It's Ty! What are you doing up here?

Ty: Where's Mom?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: [seeing Chris walking in] It's for you, ma'am.

Marisa: What are you talking about? Ty, don't you...?

Ty: Hey, Ma, this is Chris. He's got a giant, grey dog named Rufas. And if you say okay, I'm gonna walk with him, okay?

Christopher: Hello.

Marisa: Hi.

Ty: Let's not forget. I'm a kid and I need fresh air. Please, can I go, Mom? Please? Please?

Christopher: I'm Chris Marshall.

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Caroline... you want your coat?

Marisa: What?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: The weather can be so tricky here. Weren't you just saying, what a beautiful day it was?

Christopher: Oh, you're going out?

Stephanie Kehoe, Maid: Weren't you saying how you wanted to stretch your legs?

Christopher: Well, if your husband wouldn't mind...

Ty: She doesn't have a husband.

Marisa: I don't have a husband.

Christopher: Well, I insist, then. Come with us, if you're free.

Ty: Yeah. Come on, Mom.

Christopher: Let's go see the penguins!

Christopher: You're beautiful.

Marisa: So are you.

Christopher: Thank you for being here.

Marisa: I only came to tell you that this, you and me, can't go anywhere beyond this evening. It just can't.

Christopher: Well, then, you should've worn a different dress.

Christopher: Do I look as stupid as you think I am?

Jerry Siegel: No. No, I mean, you're not stupid. What, what are you talking about?

Christopher: How long are you in town for?

Marisa: I'm not sure.

Christopher: You always stay at the Beresford?

Marisa: Sometimes I feel like I live there.

Marisa: Monday? I'm busy, sorry.

Christopher: You're busy you can't? What? Can you change it?

Marisa: It's complicated. Which reminds me, I gotta get out of here. Come on, Ty. We gotta go.

Caroline: At least let me buy you lunch. After all, we've only got each other to get through this humiliation.

Christopher: Caroline, the first lunch was a mistake. A second would be complete torture.

Caroline: Drinks, then?

Christopher: Look, can we start over? Second chance, second date? You as you, me as me. No secrets. What do you think?

Captain Excellent: How long have you been with her?

Christopher: Since she was eight. You?

Captain Excellent: Oh, Christ... It's gotta be over forty years. Second grade.

Christopher: Isn't he a little old for you?

Christopher: Isn't this the guy that was following you? I mean, who does that?

Abby: You do. It's just babysitting.

Christopher: Then where's the kid?

Abby: Well... He doesn't have a kid.

Christopher: The guy's a perv, then. You gotta get outta here.

Abby: He's a famous writer! Okay? Get a life.

Christopher: You *are* my life.

Leslie: Love is not negotiable.

Christopher: Oh, baby, everything is negotiable!

Leslie: Love is not negotiable. No, not love. Love is a guessing game. And that's the beauty of it, there's no guarantees. It's like diving into a pool of water without knowing if it's shallow or deep. Sure, right, if it's shallow you end up hurt and paralyzed from the neck down. But if it's deep... it's a leap of faith. It's like throwing yourself out there without any guarantees. And that's what life's about!

[exhales forcefully]

Leslie: Okay, you know those carnival games, right? And you know how some of them are really hard to win and some of them are super easy and everyone wins?

Christopher: Sure.

Leslie: Well, it's just that that's the difference between love and sex. Sex is the game where everyone wins a little prize and no one goes home a loser. And... love is the game that's really hard to win.

[pause]

Leslie: But if you do and you get to take home that life-sized stuffed rhinoceros, it feels a whole lot better than taking home that shitty little plastic key chain.

Leslie: *God*, if only your dick was as big as your ego.

Christopher: If it was, I wouldn't be able to walk around,

[chuckles]

Christopher: and neither would you for that matter.

[first lines]

Leslie: Oh, god, oh.

Christopher: Ease, ease, easy, easy. Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. Fucking top five. That was... fucking top five.

Leslie: So what are you saying? Are you saying women have it easier than men?

Christopher: Look, all I'm saying is that you guys, women, have one certain luxury that us men just do not have.

Miranda: I decided I had to get rid of it one summer before school. I ended up doing it with the same guy my best friend did it with. He was the local... deflowerer...

Christopher: I remember that guy! Oh Miranda, he was repulsive!

Michael: [sits down near Christopher on the roof] I love what you've done with the room.

[lights a cigarette]

Michael: I used to come out here a lot when I was grounded.

Christopher: [sniffing because he was crying] Mom told me you were always getting in trouble.

Michael: She should talk.

Christopher: [crossly] What's that supposed to mean?

Michael: Before your mother was a mom, she was my best friend.

Christopher: [sarcastically] You guys have tea parties together?

Michael: Yeah, occasionally. Your mother taught me everything I shouldn't know, smartass.

Christopher: Like how to write like a chick?

Michael: Oh. That's funny. It's nice to see your balls finally dropped, Christopher.

[looks away for a second]

Michael: No, she taught me the art of fishing.

Christopher: Fishing?

Michael: [dragging from his cigarette] Mm-hmm.

Christopher: Fishing is boring.

Michael: Not the way we used to do it, it wasn't.

Christopher: Whatever.

Michael: You want me to show you?

Joe Connor: Why are you doing this?

Christopher: You asked me, Joe, where is God in everything that is happening here, in all the suffering? I know exactly where he is. He's right here. With these people. Suffering. His love is here. More intense and profound than I have ever felt. And my heart is here, Joe. My soul. And if I leave I think I may not find it again.

Christopher: I'll see to that after Mass.

Joe Connor: Mass?

Christopher: I'm a priest in a Catholic country, Joe. This is what I do.

Joe Connor: Yeah, sure. But do you think it is the best time for that?

Christopher: In times of stress, people need to commune with God.

Joe Connor: I think maybe they'd prefer some food, water, a spot of reassurance.

Christopher: Well, come to Mass-get all three on the same ticket.

Marie: Does God love everyone? Does he even love those men on the road outside?

Christopher: God doesn't always like everything we do. That's our choice. But he loves all his children.

Christopher: Can anyone be a gentleman?

Mr. Watts: Yes, they can.

Violet: Even a poor person?

Mr. Watts: Absolutely a poor person can be a gentleman. A gentleman... a gentleman is someone who never forgets their manners, no matter what the situation is, no matter how terrible, how awful. Money and social standing have got nothing to do with it. A gentleman always tries to do the right thing.

Christopher: [being pursued by his possessed teenage sister he scrambles through a doggy door] Please help me

Helpless Father: [his family backs away as he drags Christopher outside] I'm sorry there's nothing more we can do for you, you'll have to leave our house now

Emma: [Discovers her priest uncle was putting off her exorcism... to record proof of demonic posession] Mark... die

[her voice breaking]

Emma: Mark died because... because of you!

[near tears]

Emma: Mark... Mark... Mark died because of you! Because of you! My... my... my little brother die... died... Because OF YOU!

Christopher: [Mornfully] I WILL ALWAYS REGRET i was unable to save him...

[justifying]

Christopher: But... but I promise... I promise he will be remmbered as a martyr!

[last lines]

John: Bastard priest i'll kill you... you hear... I'll kill you

Christopher: Aunt Roo is a witch!

Katy Coombs: I don't care.

Katy Coombs: You said she was going to eat us.

Christopher: She was, later.

Katy Coombs: What're you doing?

Christopher: I'm hiding the jewels.

Katy Coombs: What jewels?

Christopher: The real jewels. If we get adopted, when we grow up we can sell them and buy a big mansion.

Christopher: She's done something to Katy, she's got a mummy in a hidden room.

Christopher: [voiceover] Hansel and Gretel knew that the wicked witch couldn't hurt anyone anymore, and they also knew with the wicked witch's treasure, they would never be hungry again.

Katy Coombs: So she's bad?

Christopher: I told you, she's a witch!

Christopher: You're cute. Are you the babysitter?

Linda: Well, you're not. That's a stupid thing to do.

Christopher: It's Halloween!

Christopher: Your father would kill me if saw us in bed together.

Mary: That may be the sexiest thing I've ever heard.

Isabelle: I told you, I'm not interested.

Christopher: Well, you wouldn't be talking to me if you weren't a *little* interested.

Sara: You shouldn't sit on that wall. It's dirty and there's germs and you could get sick.

Christopher: Yeah, well, I wish I would get sick. I wish I would catch some horrible disease and *die*. My chest hurts. My heart feels like it's shrinking into a little raisin. A little raisinette.

Sara: Well, you *may* have a chance with Isabelle.

Christopher: What are you talking about? She dropped the flowers and then she said she wasn't interested...

Sara: Don't be a dummy. When a girl says she's *not* interested, it means she really *is* interested.

Christopher: Well, I mean, what should I do? I'll do anything. I mean I'll, I'll come to the school until I'm too old to walk. I'll, like, buy her a million flowers -

Sara: Woahhh, flowers are good, but there's a little issue with the boyfriend.

Christopher: [shrugs] I'll kill him.

Christopher: This is stupid. Who am I kiddin'?

Sara: What happened to coming to school every day until you were too old to walk?

Christopher: Sara, when I'm too old to walk, she'll have graduated. DUH!

Sara: You had passion! You followed your heart!

Christopher: Well, I'm using my head now.

Isabelle: Hello, Christopher

Christopher: Oh, so now it's alright to know each other?