Christina Quotes in Allegiant (2016)

Christina: [When Christina sits on Caleb's lap in David's airship] Hands to yourself or I throw you out.

Christina: The Berlin wall came down in two weeks - I know it can be done.

[Christina picks her kids up from school to drive them to Florida]

Christina: Come on, get in. I'm going to need a co-pilot.

[Christina holds the maps up to her oldest daughter MJ]

Christina: I'll be damned if I'm going to take any lame asses across state line. We either do this together or not at all.

Shell: I'm not a lame ass.

MJ: Why are we going to Florida?

Christina: [Christina takes off her sunglasses and shows MJ the bruises her boyfriend gave her] I called Sandy. She said she could get me a job. It's as simple as that.

MJ: Does Grandma know?

Christina: I'll tell her when we get there. I need to get down there and make some money first. I'm not going to sit here and listen to her tell me what a fucking loser I am for having to move us back in her house. You're either in or you're out.

[MJ takes the maps]

Christina: Travellin' '77 south.

[Christina and her daughters lay together for bed in the back seat of the car while on their way to Florida]

Christina: Lock your doors. We wouldn't want some trucker crawling in here looking for a warm bed full of ladies.

MJ: Yeah, sure you wouldn't.

Shell: Good night, John-Boy.

Christina: It's not going to be forever.

MJ: What if it sucks?

Christina: Then we go back to Grandma's.

Shell: Is it just going to be the three of us?

Christina: Just the three of us.

MJ: Do you promise?

Christina: Yeah, I promise.

Shell: Good night, John-Boy.

MJ: Good night, Elizabeth.

Christina: Good night, Mary Ellen.

[Christina meets Ray the pick-up driver]

Ray: Wow, Sandy. Either you got better-looking or I'm about to meet the new girl boss man's been talking about.

Christina: You better not let Sandy here you say that.

Ray: I'll be our little secret.

Christina: How do you know I can keep a secret?

Ray: Just a feeling. You got some change for me?

[Christina bends over into the passenger seat of her car, then giving him the bag]

Ray: Look, if you ever need a tour guide or anything, my hourly rate is pretty reasonable.

Christina: [laughs and holds her hand out] Chris.

Ray: Ray. So I guess the position of the tour guide is taken.

Christina: Nah. I just like to get first names. Part of my redneck upbringing.

Ray: In that case...

[gets a paper and pen to write his phone number]

Ray: I'll show you around the everglades. You, uh... you might recognize some family members there.

Christina: [laughs taking the paper] Well, now I'm definitely not calling.

[Sandy explains the rules of drug smuggling to Christina]

Sandy: All right, first things first. The rules. One: no sampling the load. Two: never, ever throw a load. Three: no relationships inside the organization. The boss man does not like the right hand knowing what the left hand's doing. Comprende?

Christina: What?

Sandy: I'm not fucking around here, Chris. You got to pay attention.

Christina: I'm here for you, Sandy. Whatever you need.

Sandy: First thing we got to do is find a boat.

Christina: How about that one?

Sandy: Too big. We're looking for a 30- to 40-foot fishing boat. Anything bigger draws too much attention. Anything smaller doesn't have enough storage.

[the girls show up to the right size boat]

Sandy: All right, Chris. Let's see what you got. This guy's cool. Anyone aboard?

Boat Owner: Can I help you?

Christina: Hi.

[Sandy hits Christina in the arm]

Christina: Uh, I was wondering if we can rent your boat.

Boat Owner: Sure do, but I won't be around to run it. I got some relatives in town.

Sandy: You got to start thinking like a sailor. So you only want to buy food that keeps, because you never know how long you're going to be out there. You want canned, dry, pickled, smoked, but only the good stuff. Look, Chris, we're moving drugs, not rockets. Just be good at your job, and look good doing it.

[Christina sits with her daughter MJ in the hospital]

Christina: [Christina in tears watches her daughter in bed laying beside her] Shh. Baby, I'm right here. Don't try to talk. I'm right here. I'm right here. Shh. In case you need it.

[Christina slides MJ a notepad of paper to her hand]

Christina: [Christina whispers to her daughter about letting her go to the party] I've never been very good at this. I failed at... almost everything. But... I'm trying, MJ. I'm really trying. I shouldn't have let you go. It's just that... I was in a hurry. And your face... you just wanted to go so badly. I am so... fucking stupid. So stupid.

[crying]

Christina: [MJ begins to move her hand to write something down, she writes, Your My Mom] Thank you, baby. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

[the two cry together as Christina holds onto MJ]

[Christina must confront to the bossman after her and two others lose a load of drugs on the boat]

Bossman: Did you know that the study of human behaviour first began with the study of animals? Darwin discovered that animals exhibit patterns of behaviour based on survival and natural selection. And once you control the variables, those behaviours also can be limited, manipulated. In theory, if an animal is taken care of, nurtured, fed, it will exhibit behavior that can be predicted. But every so often a random gene enters the mix and changes the direction of the group. And it has to be extracted, before the entire herd can duplicate the pattern.

Christina: Boss, I did not throw that load, I swear to God.

Bossman: You tell me exactly what happened.

[we see the bossman in the next scene help Christina into her car]

Bossman: The rules exist for a reason, Christina. But I'm sure you already understand that.

[the bos pulls out a bundle of cash]

Bossman: Dollar a pound. Your cut, plus BK and Duane's. They won't be needing theirs. It pays to be more intelligent than an animal.

[the bossman walks off]

[Christina, Ray, and Captain Jim stare up at the moon]

Ray: It's a nice moon tonight.

Captain Jim: Going to rain tomorrow.

Christina: How do you know?

Captain Jim: Ring around the moon, rain soon. See the light reflecting off the cirrostratus in front of the moon? It's associated with warm fronts and moisture.

Captain Jim: You learn something new every day.

Captain Jim: You can certainly try.

[first lines]

Attendant: That's aisle four. Ah, may I see your boarding passes, please.

Aaron: Yeah, right here. This should show you how much I like working for you, Christina... 'cause normally I don't fly for anyone.

Christina: That's nice dear, now let's get over it.

Beatrice 'Tris' Prior: I'm the weakest one here.

Christina: Then you'll be the most improved.

Christina: Have you never seen a hamburger before?

Beatrice 'Tris' Prior: No I've seen one I've just never eaten one.

Will: Abnegation eat plain food, plant-based style without sauces and no minimums.

Christina: Which textbook did you swallow?

Will: Nice to meet you too. I'm Will, Erudite.

Christina: Of course you are. No offense but I'm surprised Abnegation even eats at all. To selfish right? No wonder you left.

Will: You gotta be pretty self confident to be friends with a Candor.

Christina: What is that supposed to mean?

Will: You say the first thing that comes into your head.

Al: You mean like, "you're an idiot"?

Christina: [Christina laughs] Nice one Al!

Four: My name's Four.

Christina: Four, like the number?

Four: Exactly, like the number.

Christina: What happened, one through three were taken?

Four: What's your name?

Christina: Christina.

Four: The first lesson you learn from me, if you wanna survive here, is keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me?

Christina: Is it just me, or are they trying to kill us?

Joan Crawford: Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?

Christina: Because I am NOT one of your FANS.

Joan Crawford: Why do you deliberately defy me?

Christina: Why did you tell her I got expelled?

Joan Crawford: Because you DID get expelled.

Christina: That... is a LIE.

Joan Crawford: [Smacking Christina hard across the face twice] You love it, don't you? YOU LOVE TO MAKE ME HIT YOU.

Barbara Bennett: Joan.

Joan Crawford: Barbara, PLEASE. PLEASE, Barbara. Leave us alone, Barbara. If you need anything, ask Carol Ann.

[laughs bitterly]

Joan Crawford: This is wonderful. THIS IS WONDERFUL. YOU. You deliberately embarrassed me in front of a REPORTER.

[clutches herself]

Joan Crawford: A REPORTER. I told you how important this to me, I TOLD YOU.

Christopher: As usual, she has the last word.

Christina: Does she?

Christina: There's a liquor store to the right.

Joan Crawford: I should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the booze.

Lawyer: [reading from Joan's will after her death] It is my intention to make no provision herein for my son Christopher or my daughter Christina, for reasons which are well known to them.

Christopher: What reasons?

Christina: (laughing bitterly) Jesus Christ.

Christopher: As usual, she has the last word.

Christina: Does she? Does she?

Joan Crawford: [Joan is pouring booze from her flask] Hey, you know where I got this from?

Christina: Uh uh.

Joan Crawford: BATISTA himself.

Christina: Yeah?

Joan Crawford: When I opened a plant outside Havana.

Christina: That's all they gave you?

Joan Crawford: That's it. Cheap bastards.

Carol Ann: [embracing Christina at Joan's funeral] Chris-*tina*! *Tina*!

Christina: Carol-Ann.

Carol Ann: My little Tina. She always loved you so very much, Christina.

Christina: I need to believe that. I need so much to be able to believe that now.

Carol Ann: She did.

Christina: [in character as Antigone] Understand. The first word I ever heard out of any of you was that word, understand. There'll be time enough to understand when I'm old, if I ever am old. Oh, but not now.

Christina: [Seeing Joan in her coffin] Oh Mommie. I always loved you so. It's over. The Pain. There's no more pain. You're free. Free. Oh Mommie...

[she starts to cry]

Christina: How are you, Miss Bennett?

Barbara Bennett: God, call me Barbara. They're teaching you some fancy manners at Chadwick.

Joan Crawford: That's not ALL they've been teaching her.

Christina: How do you like my UFO?

Christina: She ripped my dress!

Grace Bontempo: Oh boo hoo, the next time I'm in Kmart I'll buy you a new one.

Christina: You're too big to fit in here...

[covers her front]

Courtney: Too big to fit in HERE...

[smacks butt]

Courtney: OW! Unh!

Jane: Too big to fit in here...

[covers mouth and moans]

Christina: [Patrons begin playing music and drumming on things] Oh, my God!

Courtney: Oh my god, we are in Fame right now!

Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] What a lovely ride

Jane: Your penis is a thrill!

Christina: Your penis is a Cadillac!

Courtney: A giant Coupe DeVille!

Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load.

Courtney: And when it makes delivery...

Christina: It needs its own zip code! Nine-double zero PENIS!

Courtney: How could you not know what a glory hole is?

Christina: Well unlike my WHORE friend Courtney Rockcliff, I don't usually spend much time in men's public bathrooms.

Christina: Wanna hear some poetry? There once was a man from Bandoo. Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!

Christina: Don't go looking for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right Now.

Waitress: It's oozing and it's green!

[the music suddenly stops]

Christina: Eeew!

Christina: Ew! What is that?

Courtney: What is what?

Christina: You don't smell that?

Courtney: Smell what? I don't smell anything.

Christina: Oh Jesus! You're used to it, and that's, that's what's really scary!

Courtney: I don't smell anything!

Christina: It smells like moldy ass is what it smells like in here!

Courtney: Wait a minute, come to think of it, I did leave some ass in the back.

Christina: You did!

Courtney: I did, about a week a ago. I did, it's the ass! It must be the ass!

Courtney: Maybe it's you. Did somethin' crawl up your poonani?

Christina: Hey! I have never had any complaints in the poonani odor department!

Courtney: Yeah! Well neither have I, okay!

Christina: High five on the clean poonani!

[Gives a high five]

Courtney: Bitch!

[Courtney and Christina look at themselves dressed in ridiculous clothes]

Christina, Courtney: These are..."The Days Of Our Lives"!

[after knocking over a flower arrangement and disrupting an entire wedding]

Courtney: This isn't the Glichtman Barmitzvah is it? Mosha are you in here, no?

Christina: Come along Sharron. Mazeltov! Shalom!

[while holding her breats]

Christina: You know when I was 22, my breasts were up here, nice and perky, but gravity has taken them. It's like 22, 28, 22, 28, 22...

Courtney: Buy some new ones!

Voice: There's someone in here.

Christina: Sorry.

Voice: It might be a while.

Christina: How long?

Voice: Let me put it to you this way. I had Lamb Curry last night and I'm shitting out a Buick!

Courtney: Was it absolutely vital for her to tell us that?

Christina: I got a penis in my eye.

Courtney: Let me see.

Christina: How is it? Is it okay?

Courtney: Yeah, it's okay, but I think you're pregnant.

Christina: [Reading] Follow the yellow brick road? Huh! I'm following the yellow brick road... following the yellow brick...

Christina: [Comes across a picture of a dog with a hole in its mouth, she gasps] MUFFY! You look like my old doggy Muffy! What's in your mouth? What's in your mouth?

[more seriously]

Christina: What do you got in there?

[looks into the hole]

Man in the Glory Hole: Surprise!

Christina, Courtney: Jane! JANEYYY!

Jane: Sorry you guys, I'm really busy and...

Christina, Courtney: Hey, wait, Jane

[they begin singing]

Christina, Courtney: "Do you like Pina Coladas? And getting caught in the rain...?"

Jane: [Watches her boyfriend in his mascot outfit topple down a flight of stairs] ... shit!

Christina: How are you stuck?

Andy: I have a piercing...

[the entire crowd recoils in shock]

San Francisco Policeman #2: I don't get it, how are they stuck?

Male bystander: [smiles] Behind her tonsils

San Francisco Policeman #2: How do you know that?

[Awkward pause]

Christina: I wasn't suggesting that the two of you get married, I just thought maybe you could get it on!

Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All Singing] What a lovely ride!

Jane: Your penis is a thrill!

Christina: Your penis is a Cadillac

Jane: A giant Coupe DeVille!

Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load!

Christina: And when it makes delivery...

Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] It needs its own zipcode

Christina: Nine-Double Zero, Penis!

Terry Collier: Oh Chris, I can't stand saying goodbye like this.

Christina: You really mean that?

Terry Collier: Yeah - you finish packing, I'm going to the pub.

Christina: I learn much this weekend Terry, it has been, how you say in English, an eyesore.

Christina: You are so tired, I put you up.

Bob: You've put up with me long enough.

Christina: I not mean with, I up-put you.

Bob: I don't want to put you out.

Christina: I not put out, you are nice person, you come to bed and I put you up.

Cowan: Well, you see, all I own is a couple of guns and a tin star and, of course, a beautiful new horse and saddle.

Christina: Is that how you judge the worth of a man? By how much he owns?

Zoe: What is this thing about Eric calling you "a sassy piece of jailbait"?

Christina: What's this thing?

Zoe: It bothers me.

Christina: Why?

Zoe: It makes you out like a child or something.

Christina: Unlike the tartan skirt and my socks or the blouse or the way I act, right?

Christina: Do you have a lot of friends?

Eric: Not really...

Christina: Do you ever wish you did?

Eric: Yeah.

Christina: When?

Eric: Well... like... now, for instance.

Christina: Why?

Eric: Well... I just met you. And I feel like telling somebody about it.

Christina: How old are you, Martin?

Martin Madahas: Oh, I'm old.

Christina: How old?

Martin Madahas: Eighty four.

Christina: If you need anything, just call me. I'll come, I'll send you the money.

Martin Madahas: No, you'll forget about me.

Christina: No, I won't. Why do you think I'll forget?

Martin Madahas: Because you're going away. People always go away so they can forget where they were.

Christina: If I don't believe something or I don't want to believe something, it doesn't exist in my universe it just does not exist.

Christina: You don't believe in God?

David: Yeah, but he's a great reference.

Christina: So you're what the public's going crazy about. A singing cowboy.

Pat Brady: I resent that, ma'am. I'll have you know that in my day I was one of the most daring riders of the range. Why, I've looked death right in the face.

Christina: That must have been pretty horrible. For both of you.

Amelia: Levi and I are heading West.

Christina: What?

Amelia: I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea, but I have to support him.