Christian Black Quotes in Fifty Shades of Black (2016)

Christian Black: And now the real torture begins.

[Hannah screams, Christian chuckles]

Christian Black: Where were we?

[Hannah screams again as Christian deviously chuckles]

Hannah Steele: [as she cries] I can't remember the safe word.

Christian Black: Chapter 23...

[Hannah screams again as Christian pulls "Fifty Shades of Grey" in hardcover up]

Christian Black: "It was a cold, gloomy day in Seattle..."

[puts the book down in revulsion]

Christian Black: Oh, God, this book is 50 shades of fucking terrible. Who wrote this, a third grader?

Hannah Steele: [screaming] Please go back to the water torture thing!

Christian Black: I got my money the way most black entrepreneurs got theirs.

Hannah Steele: Real estate?

Christian Black: Drug dealing.

Hannah Steele: You want me to be somebody that I am not.

Christian Black: No, no. It's not me that's changing you, it's you that's changing me!

Hannah Steele: Wait a minute... that's a line from the movie Radio.

Christian Black: No it's not.

Hannah Steele: Yeah, yeah. The movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. where he played this mentally disabled athlete. "It's not us that's teaching Radio, it's Radio that's teaching us"!

Christian Black: Nah, my- mine is way different.

Hannah Steele: It's the same premise.

Christian Black: You complete me?

Hannah Steele: Jerry Maguire, also starring Cuba Gooding Jr. I don't understand your whole fixation on him.

Christian Black: You know, all this time I thought I wasn't in the right place, but I was!

Hannah Steele: That's Snowdogs.

Christian Black: Goddammit! I gotta stop binging on Netflix.

Charlese: [Christian shows Charlese the sex room]

Charlese: What we supposed to do in here?

Christian Black: Well, I thought we'd start with a little bit of rope play.

Charlese: No!

[Christian loses his smile]

Christian Black: Okay, well, how about I just mount you to that rack over there and spank you?

Charlese: Hell to the no!

Christian Black: Perhaps a little bit of flogging?

Charlese: I don't even know what the hell flogging means, so fuck to the no!

Christian Black: Okay, well, what are we supposed to do then?

Charlese: You need to find Jesus! That's what you can do!

Hannah Steele: [after Christian buys cable ties and tape] If I didn't know better, I might mistake you for a serial killer.

Christian Black: Haha, don't be ridiculous. If I was a serial killer I'd need rope, ax, lye, ammonia, chloropill, wood chipper, plastic sheets, and three large boxes of space pampers! And a shovel. On second thought, I think I need to pick up a few more items.

Hannah Steele: Um, are you stalking me, Mr. Black?

Christian Black: Hahaha! Yes.

[Christian scans his wall of whips, including those from Glory, Roots, Django Unchained, 10 Years a Slave, and finally Joe Jackson, which is a belt]

Christian Black: Nothing says ass whipping like good ol' Joe Jackson.