Chrissy Quotes in Battlefield Earth (2000)

Chrissy: What if he's not dead?

Parson Staffer: Hope is an admirable quality, but foolish isn't.

Chrissy: Your mother gave it to me before she died.

Lenny: He's got a very pretty girlfriend, doesn't he?

Chrissy: Is it serious, do you know?

Lenny: Very serious. I'm single!

Chrissy: [thoughtful pause] What about the bass player?

Lenny: He's married!

Missy: Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'.

Chrissy: I'm on it.

[pulls out knife]

Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?

Chrissy: Great, he's retarded to boot.

Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you retarded.

Whillenholly: Why are you shooting at me? I'm just a Federal Wildlife Marshall.

Chrissy: Two reasons. One: we're walking, talking, bad girl cliches.

Missy: And two: because you're a man.

Whillenholly: Only on the outside.

[Chrissy breaks wind loudly in the diamond vault, causing the alarms to go off]

Chrissy: Holy Fuck! The little stoner was right!

Chrissy: Kaboom, you little stoner fucks!

Chrissy: This is the most tormented man I have ever known. I'm in love with this man, but he doesn't know that, 'cause I never told him, 'cause he could never love anybody since he lost his hand and his girl.

Teeny: Chrissy, truth or dare?

Chrissy: Truth.

Teeny: Have you ever been french kissed?

Chrissy: Are you kidding? I don't want to get pregnant!

Chrissy: It makes me look fat.

Teeny: You ARE fat.

Chrissy: I am NOT fat! Am I fat?

[Roberta gets up, slams the record player shut and starts pacing back in forth in anger]

Chrissy: Roberta it's ok

Roberta: NO IT'S NOT OK! It's not OK! Why did they have to die? Why did SHE have to die? My dad lied to me he said that this BEAUTIFUL angel swooped down to earth and he carried her away... BEFORE SHE HAD A SECOND TO FEEL ANY PAIN! Why did she have to die? Why did he have to lie to me? He's all I have left and he lied...

Bully: Why don't you go home and play with your dolls.

Chrissy: The only doll Roberta's got is a G.I. Joe!

Roberta: ...Perky breasts!

Chrissy: Roberta, you know I don't like it when you swear.

Roberta: Chrissy, breast is not a dirty word.

Chrissy: I can't hear you.

Roberta: Breast.

Chrissy: Can't hear you.

Roberta: Breast.

Chrissy: Can't hear you.

Roberta: BREAST!

Teeny: Roberta, truth or dare?

Roberta: Truth.

Teeny: Just how big are your boobs now?

Roberta: Drop dead.

Teeny: She has to say, doesn't she, Sam?

Young Samantha Albertson: She doesn't have to say if she doesn't want to.

Teeny: Then can we see them?

Roberta: No, you can't see them!

Teeny: I don't have any real ones yet.

Roberta: Well, you'll get them, and you'll hate them.

Teeny: No, you're lucky, Roberta. Men love them when they're big. Look how big mine are today.

Young Samantha Albertson: They almost look real.

Teeny: They're filled with pudding.

Young Samantha Albertson: Pudding?

Teeny: The Wormers actually gave me the idea. Jello is too jiggly. Pudding has a heavier, more realistic texture.

Chrissy: What flavor is it?

Teeny: It's vanilla.

[Blushes]

Chrissy: It's not very big.

Roberta: It's only big when a guy has a hard on.

Teeny: And when that happens, they get this big.

Chrissy: What's a hard on?

Samantha: Doesn't your mother tell you anything?

Chrissy: I'm beginning to think she's been misinformed.

Chrissy: I say we make a pact. Here and now. We're here for each other, always, no matter what happens in life. If Teeny goes off to Hollywood or I marry a rich doctor, we remember this day and this pact. Whenever we need a friend, we're here for each other. We can count on it. Always. No matter what.

Young Samantha Albertson: It's a pact.

Chrissy: All for one...

Chrissy, Teeny, Roberta, Young Samantha Albertson: And one for all.

Chrissy's Mom: I decided we should talk about what you asked me.

Chrissy: About sex.

Chrissy's Mom: You say that very casually, that's very scary for mommy. It's like, "BOO!" "AAH!" That's what sex is.

Roberta: You can't get pregnant from french-kissing!

Chrissy: I know that, beetle-brain, but it's common knowledge that if you tongue-kiss a boy, he automatically thinks you'll do the deed with him. They can't help it. They're driven. It's the male curse.

Samantha: Oh? And what deed would that be?

Chrissy: You know... planting the seed and watering the flower. Isn't that how it works?... The man takes his watering can and sprinkles it on the flower.

Chrissy: After all, a promise is a promise.

Teeny: Oh, my God.

Roberta: What?

Teeny: I saw his penis.

Roberta, Chrissy, Young Samantha Albertson: Whose?

Teeny: And the balls.

Chrissy: You guys!

Teeny: Scott's.

Roberta, Young Samantha Albertson: Oh, my God!

[after Roberta punches Chrissy in the arm]

Chrissy: Ow! That hurt.

Roberta: Yea, well, you deserved it fart-ass!

Vietnam Veteran: I'm going to tell you something i wish someone would have told me when I was your age.

Chrissy: Oh yeah? What's that?

Vietnam Veteran: Your parents aren't always right.

Samantha: No shit.

Chrissy: For ten tree house Dollars I'd feel it to!

Chrissy: The beauty of nature will surprise you, if you look and listen.

[Kids sight Leo and Colette making love]

Binocular Kid: That really is awesome.

Warren: But what about the Fellini festival?

Chrissy: Warren - fuck the Fellini festival!

Chrissy: How can the mountains be dangerous, they're so beautiful.

Ghostkeeper: You're not allowed here, this place is closed.

Chrissy: Then what are you doing here?

Ghostkeeper: I ask the questions, girlie.