Chris McConnell Quotes in Roxanne (1987)

Chris McConnell: What am I afraid of her for? She's no rocket scientist.

C.D. Bales: Well, actually, she is a rocket scientist.

Chris McConnell: [after Chris accidentally insults C.D.'s nose] Aren't you going to kill me? The guys said...

C.D. Bales: Oh, ordinarily, yeah, but not today.

Chris McConnell: How come?

C.D. Bales: Because yesterday... she didn't. But today... she does.

[They laugh together, as the guys come back in]

Chuck: So you finally got a sense of humor about your nose.

[C.D. grabs his tie and slams him against the wall, causing the guys to run out again]

C.D. Bales: [the first time Chris sees C.D.'s nose] It's hypnotic, isn't it?

Chris McConnell: It's huge! It's enormous! It's gigantic! I mean, they said it was big, but I didn't expect it to be BIG!

Ralston: Man, whatever you do, don't stare.

Chris McConnell: Look, I'm not gonna stare, come on.

Jerry: None of us would. But you get there, and you feel yourself not staring.

Ralston: Then you think, "it's obvious I'm not staring." So you look, and you think, "I'm staring." So you say, "this is ridiculous," and you take a GOOD LOOK. And you think, "I'm looking at a man who, when he washes his face, loses the bar of soap."

Chris McConnell: [laughs] Thanks guys, all right.

Ralston: Don't say we didn't warn you.

Chris McConnell: Your breasts, they're like melons. No, no, they're like pillows. Can I fluff your pillows?

C.D. Bales: Do you know the phrase carpe diem?

Chris McConnell: It's, it's fish, fish bait, right?

Chris McConnell: [Roxanne spies Chris in a bookstore] Hey, did that copy of 'Being and Nothingness,' by Jean...

Stationery Clerk: Jean-Paul Sartre? Yes, it did. I got it right here! It's all paid for.

Chris McConnell: Great! Okay, thanks a lot.

Stationery Clerk: De rien. Il n'y a pas de quoi.

Chris McConnell: All right, okay...

Stationery Clerk: It ain't nothing, bro!

Chris McConnell: [reading as he exits bookstore] "... therefore my body is a conscious structure of my consciousness..."

Andy: Yeah. Thanks, Chris. I was too embarrassed to go in there and ask for it myself.

Chris McConnell: A little light reading, huh, Andy?

[C.D. is helping Chris with his first letter to Roxanne]

C.D. Bales: Let's take a look at that letter...

Chris McConnell: I think it's really good!

C.D. Bales: "Dear Roxanne, how's it going? Want to have a drink sometime? If you do, check this box."

C.D. Bales: [coaching Chris by radio as he woos Roxanne] Reach out your hand.

Chris McConnell: My hand, out reaching to - car 3, car3! Proceed to the 279.

Roxanne Kowalski: What?

Roxanne Kowalski: So why did you say those things?

C.D. Bales: Tell her you were afraid.

Chris McConnell: Because I was afraid.

Roxanne Kowalski: Of me? Afraid of what?

C.D. Bales: Tell her you were afraid of words.

Chris McConnell: What?

C.D. Bales: Words.

Chris McConnell: Because I was afraid of worms, Roxanne! Worms!