Chris Lecce Quotes in Another Stakeout (1993)

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Chris Lecce Quotes:

  • [Chris Lecce is angry with Gina Garrett because of her interference in the stakeout]

    Chris Lecce: If this assignment gets blown, I want to go on record right now, that this is the most stupid, dimwitted, idiotic, moronic piece of putrefied garbage that I have ever in my entire professional career, ever had the displeasure of being involved with.

  • Gina Garrett: So when are we inviting them over for drinks?

    Chris Lecce: Uh, Bill.

    Bill Reimers: Yes, Chris?

    Chris Lecce: Did I just hear you ask me to invite the neighbors over for drinks? The very people we are here to stake out?

    Bill Reimers: Why, no Chris, I'd never think of such a thing.

    Chris Lecce: Good to know Bill!

  • [Maria and Chris are arguing, Maria meanwhile is holding a TV in her arms]

    Chris Lecce: Now, Maria let's go over something. I came home last night.

    Maria McGuire: [nods crazily]

    Chris Lecce: We had sex.

    Maria McGuire: [nods crazily]

    Chris Lecce: Then I woke up and went to work like I do every morning. Now did I forget something?

    Maria McGuire: [drops the TV causing it to smash]

    Chris Lecce: [looks down at the floor with an unbelievable expression on his face]

    Maria McGuire: I'm leaving. And when I come back, I want you gone.

  • Chris Lecce: [to Maria who's running off] All right, all right! I'll marry you.

    Maria McGuire: [smiles wickedly and comes back to Chris and then plugs him in the stomach with her fist!] Life is just too short.

    Chris Lecce: [doubled over gives a weak cough]

  • [Bill Reimers and Chris Lecce call to Archie (a dog) who is chasing a neighbour's cat - Archie takes no notice]

    Bill Reimers: Come back here!

    Chris Lecce: Oh stick 'em Archie. Eat the cat!

  • Captain Coldshank: Your cover is you're renting the judge's house for a month of vacation.

    Chris Lecce: As what?... friends or lovers?

  • Chris Lecce: This guy's got a gun. Not a lawyer.

  • [in checkout]

    Cashier: [looks at one of Chris's items and sort of scolds] Eating between meals.

    Chris Lecce: [mimicking] Eating between meals.

  • [Reading the police profile on Maria McGuire]

    Bill Reimers: And, the moment we've all been waiting for... 313 pounds.

    Chris Lecce: 313 pounds? Let me see that.

    Bill Reimers: I would imagine that's fully clothed.

    Chris Lecce: Oh my God, she could be the house! I hate this job!

  • Bill Reimers: [seeing Phil and Jack leave, laughing about something] Yeah, I smell a rat, they are up to something. I don't know what it is, but they are up to something. I'm going to find out what it is

    [he raises binoculars to his eyes, lowers them, then turns to Chris]

    Bill Reimers: Do you know what it is?

    Chris Lecce: [casually, with a straight face] Yeah, I think I have a pretty good idea

    Chris Lecce: What, what, tell me?

    Bill Reimers: [Turns at Chris' gesture, and sees that ink coating the rims of the binoculars is now around each eye, making him look like a racoon] Son of a bitch! Christ, I'm gonna *kill* 'em!

  • Bill Reimers: [looking in the refrigerator] I don't believe this. They ate all the food and left dog turds in the fridge.

    Chris Lecce: Don't worry. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?

    Bill Reimers: Truth and justice.

    Chris Lecce: Anything else?

    Bill Reimers: Doughnuts.

    Chris Lecce: Why not? We *are* cops.

  • [on the phone with Bill while at Maria's place]

    Chris Lecce: I'll be about half an hour.

    Bill Reimers: Where are my donuts you prick?

    Chris Lecce: Maybe more.

  • Chris Lecce: [whilst searching Maria's house, Chris holds up a newspaper clipping about Montgomery] Now is no time to be pausing for the news, Chris

    Bill Reimers: Now is no time to be pausing for the news, Chris

    Chris Lecce: [Chris continues his search]

    Chris Lecce: Ah - we have a letter. 'Dear Maria, I hear you are doing okay. I hear you are seeing a couple of guys. Sometimes I get so mad I could wipe out the entire world, and enjoy myself doing it'. Now how could she have dumped a charmer like him?

  • Bill Reimers: [during an argument about who killed Kennedy, Bill checks the fridge] Those bastards. They ate everything and left us a dog turd.

    Chris Lecce: Ralph Warren left us a dog turd?

    Bill Reimers: No, Phil and Jack. I am gonna get those guys. I don't know how, but I will.

    Chris Lecce: Give me the keys. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?

    Bill Reimers: Truth and justice.

    Chris Lecce: Anything else?

    Bill Reimers: Doughnuts.

    Chris Lecce: Why not? We're cops.

  • Chris Lecce: [Chris and Bill are whiling away the time playing trivia questions] Okay, I got one, name the 16th President

    Bill Reimers: I don't know

    Chris Lecce: Here's a hint...

    Bill Reimers: Abraham Lincoln.

    Bill Reimers: [His questions are identifying quotes] Okay, "This was no boating accident!"

    Chris Lecce: No idea

    Bill Reimers: Man, you suck at this

  • Chris Lecce: Problem?

Browse more character quotes from Another Stakeout (1993)

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