Chowder Quotes in Monster House (2006)
[waves flashlight at chandelier]
Jenny: Well, if those are the teeth, and that's the tongue, then that must be the uvula!
Chowder: Oh, so it's a *girl* house...
Jenny: [looks at him] *What?*
Chowder: My dad is at the pharmacy and my mom is at the movies with her personal trainer.
DJ: Oh my god!
DJ: You're a dork!
Chowder: My cousin's a cop in Milwaukee. I mean, he's kind of a cop... he's got a gun.
Chowder: I paid 28 dollars for that ball! I had to mow ten lawns and ask my mom for a dollar 26 times!
Chowder: [whispering] It mocks us with its... *house-ness*!
Chowder: [pretending to talk to his father] Well, Dad, why don't you kiss my hairy butt?
Chowder: Hey, DJ, you got any beer?
Chowder: Well, hello there...
DJ: [to Jenny] This is... Chowder...
Chowder: Charles, to the ladies...
Jenny: [interrupting] Um, Jenny Bennett. Two-term class president at Westbrook Prep.
DJ: That's a tough school to get into.
Chowder: Yeah, I got in but decided not to go.
Jenny: It's a girl's school.
Chowder: [nervous pause] ... Which is why I didn't...
[another nervous pause]
Chowder: ... You know there's a... there's a great taco stand near there...
DJ: I've just... murdered a guy!
Chowder: Naw... when it's an accident, it's called manslaughter.
Chowder: We're dead.
Chowder: You've killed us, and now we're dead!
Chowder: Yes, umm, are you nuts? I don't wanna steal drugs from my Father, I don't wanna go inside a monster, and I don't wanna die!
Jenny: I say its worth a shot.
Chowder: Yes I agree. Let's do it.
DJ: [running back to the house] Don't look back!
Chowder: Aah! I looked back!
[Jenny emerges from the closet after calling her mother on the phone]
Jenny: [rolls her eyes] She didn't believe me.
Chowder: [sighs] Authority can be so...
[makes armpit noises]
Jenny: Okay, normally I don't spend time with guys like you, but a house just tried to eat me, so... you've got one hour.
Jenny: Is this pee? Because if it is, that's really gross!
Chowder: DJ?... You pee in bottles?
DJ: What are you talking about? That one's your pee.
Chowder: All right, vacuum cleaner dummy, I'm setting you down on the lawn. Don't be scared, that's not how you were trained.
Chowder: I love you, vacuum cleaner dummy.
[the house taunts Chowder by scratching a scary face on his basketball]
Chowder: It's gonna be a bloodbath.
Chowder: You're really crazy right now, you notice that? I think you're just freakin' out because you killed a guy today.
[after watching the house eat the two cops]
Chowder: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I think I'm having a stroke!
Chowder: Relax. Just be cool, like me.
[Chowder accidentally leans on lever, which starts the machine]
Chowder: [house comes alive] Detectable movement!
Chowder: We're dead. You've killed us, and we're dead!
DJ: Shh! I don't think the house knows that we're in here. I bet it thinks we're still in the car.
Jenny: Sounds like it's sleeping.
DJ: The only way that we're gonna get out of here alive, is if we find the heart, and put out the fire.
Chowder: Maybe we should examine our other options?
DJ: Sure. Other option: we wait here and do nothing until it wakes up and eats us.
Chowder: Find the heart, put out the fire. Got it.
Chowder: It's time for an in your face disgrace!
[basketball ricochets off the hoop and hits Chowder in the face]
DJ: Are you okay?
Chowder: My nose is in my brain!
DJ: Let me see - Oh my God!
DJ: You're a dork.
Browse more character quotes from Monster House (2006)