Chowder Quotes in Monster House (2006)


Chowder Quotes:

  • Jenny: There!

    [waves flashlight at chandelier]

    Jenny: Well, if those are the teeth, and that's the tongue, then that must be the uvula!

    Chowder: Oh, so it's a *girl* house...

    Jenny: [looks at him] *What?*

  • Chowder: My dad is at the pharmacy and my mom is at the movies with her personal trainer.

  • DJ: Oh my god!

    Chowder: What?

    DJ: You're a dork!

  • Chowder: My cousin's a cop in Milwaukee. I mean, he's kind of a cop... he's got a gun.

  • Chowder: I paid 28 dollars for that ball! I had to mow ten lawns and ask my mom for a dollar 26 times!

  • Chowder: [whispering] It mocks us with its... *house-ness*!

  • Chowder: [pretending to talk to his father] Well, Dad, why don't you kiss my hairy butt?

    [turns around]

    Chowder: Hey, DJ, you got any beer?

    [noticing Jenny]

    Chowder: Well, hello there...

    DJ: [to Jenny] This is... Chowder...

    Chowder: Charles, to the ladies...

    Jenny: [interrupting] Um, Jenny Bennett. Two-term class president at Westbrook Prep.

    DJ: That's a tough school to get into.

    Chowder: Yeah, I got in but decided not to go.

    Jenny: It's a girl's school.

    Chowder: [nervous pause] ... Which is why I didn't...

    [another nervous pause]

    Chowder: ... You know there's a... there's a great taco stand near there...

  • DJ: I've just... murdered a guy!

    Chowder: Naw... when it's an accident, it's called manslaughter.

  • Chowder: We're dead.

    [to DJ]

    Chowder: You've killed us, and now we're dead!

  • DJ: Questions?

    Chowder: Yes, umm, are you nuts? I don't wanna steal drugs from my Father, I don't wanna go inside a monster, and I don't wanna die!

    Jenny: I say its worth a shot.

    Chowder: Yes I agree. Let's do it.

  • DJ: [running back to the house] Don't look back!

    Chowder: Aah! I looked back!

  • [Jenny emerges from the closet after calling her mother on the phone]

    Jenny: [rolls her eyes] She didn't believe me.

    Chowder: [sighs] Authority can be so...

    [makes armpit noises]

    Jenny: Okay, normally I don't spend time with guys like you, but a house just tried to eat me, so... you've got one hour.

  • Jenny: Is this pee? Because if it is, that's really gross!

    Chowder: DJ?... You pee in bottles?

    DJ: What are you talking about? That one's your pee.

  • Chowder: All right, vacuum cleaner dummy, I'm setting you down on the lawn. Don't be scared, that's not how you were trained.

    [slight pause]

    Chowder: I love you, vacuum cleaner dummy.

  • [the house taunts Chowder by scratching a scary face on his basketball]

    Chowder: It's gonna be a bloodbath.

  • Chowder: You're really crazy right now, you notice that? I think you're just freakin' out because you killed a guy today.

  • [after watching the house eat the two cops]

    Chowder: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I think I'm having a stroke!

  • Chowder: Relax. Just be cool, like me.

    [Chowder accidentally leans on lever, which starts the machine]

    Chowder: AAAAAH!

  • Chowder: [house comes alive] Detectable movement!

  • Chowder: We're dead. You've killed us, and we're dead!

    DJ: Shh! I don't think the house knows that we're in here. I bet it thinks we're still in the car.

    Jenny: Listen.

    [rumbling sound]

    Jenny: Sounds like it's sleeping.

    DJ: The only way that we're gonna get out of here alive, is if we find the heart, and put out the fire.

    Chowder: Maybe we should examine our other options?

    DJ: Sure. Other option: we wait here and do nothing until it wakes up and eats us.

    Chowder: Find the heart, put out the fire. Got it.

  • Chowder: It's time for an in your face disgrace!

    [basketball ricochets off the hoop and hits Chowder in the face]

    DJ: Are you okay?

    Chowder: My nose is in my brain!

    DJ: Let me see - Oh my God!

    Chowder: What?

    DJ: You're a dork.

Browse more character quotes from Monster House (2006)


Characters on Monster House (2006)