Chiun Quotes in Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)

Chiun: Professional assassination. It's the highest form of public service.

Remo Williams: Chiun, you're incredible!

Chiun: No! I am better than that.

Chiun: Women should stay home and make babies. Preferably, manchild.

Major Rayner Fleming: [to Remo] I see you both went to the same charm school.

Chiun: Fear is just a feeling. You feel hot. You feel hungry. You feel angry. You feel afraid. Fear can never kill you.

Remo Williams: How old are you? I mean really, you are old, now aren't you?

Chiun: For an apricot, yes. For a head of lettuce, even more so. For a mountain, I have not even begun in years. For a man, I am just right.

Chiun: Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp. If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly. Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work.

Chiun: The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.

Remo Williams: I've got a job to do.

Chiun: Remo!

[whispers in Remo's ear]

Chiun: Do not embarrass us.

Remo Williams: I won't... Little Father.

Conn MacCleary: [referring to Remo] Well, Chiun? What do you think?

Chiun: He's very slow. His reflexes are pitiful; poorly coordinated. He's in wretched physical condition, impetuous, and clumsy. He moves like a baboon with two club feet! However, there is a feeble glint of promise in his eyes. I think I can do something with him.

Conn MacCleary: Good.

Chiun: I do not wear glasses so that I may see. I wear glasses so that I may see... more.

Chiun: You move like a pregnant yak. Sit.

Chiun: It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi-... monosoti...

Remo Williams: Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it.

Chiun: I can say "rat droppings." That does not mean I want to eat them.

Chiun: You did not ask to be white. So perhaps that is not your fault. You did not ask to be here. Perhaps that is not your fault, either.

Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you.

Chiun: Of course. I am Chiun.

Remo Williams: And there are times when I could really kill you.

Chiun: Good! We will practice that after dinner.

Remo Williams: Are you hurt?

Chiun: No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son.

Remo Williams: What? What did you call me?

Chiun: I called you a clumsy oaf. You drive like a monkey in heat.

Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, you're a real pain in the ass.

Chiun: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain!

[Chiun pulls the trigger on a revolver, click, click, click]

Remo Williams: You used the other four yesterday.

Chiun: [Chiun fires a round nearly hitting Remo in the head] I reloaded.

Chiun: Do you know why Americans call it fast food?

[Remo shakes his head "no."]

Chiun: Because it speeds them on the way to the grave.

[Chiun laughs at his little joke. Remo doesn't laugh]

Chiun: As I feared; you have no sense of humor.

Chiun: [having just sprinted across the surface of a lake] You must run *very* fast.

Chiun: In Korea, door handles do not come off.

[Remo dangles from a car on the Wonder Wheel]

Remo Williams: Jesus!

Chiun: Concentrate! This is NO time for prayer!

Remo Williams: Do you always talk like a Chinese fortune cookie?

[Outraged, Chiun strikes Remo in his solar plexus. Remo stumbles to the window, partially paralyzed, and in pain]

Chiun: Chinese! *Korean* is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of its foot.

Chiun: Place your hands behind your head.

[Remo complies, then doubles over from a blow from Chiun, too fast to be seen ]

Chiun: I did not say keep them there. Your reflexes are pitiful! The seasons move faster.

Remo Williams: [Remo hears Chiun singing a song in Korean] Is it painful?

Chiun: I was singing an old Korean love song.

Remo Williams: It's a wonder the race isn't extinct.

Chiun: Karate, Kung Fu, Ninjitsu - they are but shadows. Sinanju is the Sun.

Chiun: Remember, perfection is a road, not a destination.