Chief Elgin Quotes in Three Kings (1999)
Chief Elgin Quotes:
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Archie Gates: What's the most important thing in life?
Troy Barlow: Respect.
Archie Gates: Too dependent on other people.
Conrad Vig: What, love?
Archie Gates: A little Disneyland, isn't it?
Chief Elgin: God's will.
Archie Gates: Close.
Troy Barlow: What is it then?
Archie Gates: Necessity.
Troy Barlow: As in?
Archie Gates: As in people do what is most necessary to them at any given moment.
-- Chief Elgin -
[Conrad retrieved a map from an Iraqi's soldier's butt]
Sgt. Troy Barlow: Conrad, you've washed your hands like ten times.
Conrad Vig: Lord knows what kind of vermin live in the butt of a dune coon.
Chief Elgin: Why do you let this cracker hang around with you, man?
Sgt. Troy Barlow: He's all right, man. He's from a group home in Dallas. He's got no high school.
Conrad Vig: Don't tell people that.
Chief Elgin: I don't care if he's from Johannesburg. I don't want to hear "dune coon" or "sand nigger" from him or anybody else.
Conrad Vig: Captain uses those terms.
Sgt. Troy Barlow: That's not the point, Conrad. The point is that "towelhead" and "camel jockey" are perfectly good substitutes.
Chief Elgin: Exactly!
-- Chief Elgin -
Archie Gates: Sit down. What do you see here?
Chief Elgin: Bunkers, sir.
Archie Gates: What's in them?
Troy Barlow: Stuff they stole from Kuwait.
Archie Gates: Bullshit. I'm talking about millions in Kuwaiti bullion.
Conrad Vig: You mean them little cubes you put in hot water to make soup?
Archie Gates: No, not the little cubes you put in hot water to make soup.
-- Chief Elgin -
Troy Barlow: I'm gonna buy a set of Lexus convertibles in every color.
Chief Elgin: I told you, Lexus don't make a convertible.
Troy Barlow: I'll bet you a Lexus they do.
Chief Elgin: Alright, but it won't be a convertible.
-- Chief Elgin -
Conrad Vig: One gold Rolex would get me a very nice split-level house outside of Garland.
Troy Barlow: Five Rolexes would get my family that Lexus convertible.
Chief Elgin: I told you, Lexus doesn't make a convertible.
Troy Barlow: Yes they do, it has room in the back for a kid's seat.
Chief Elgin: Infiniti has a convertible but not Lexus.
Troy Barlow: Wrong.
Chief Elgin: Either way, the Good Lord has put this map in our path and I believe we're gonna find something.
Troy Barlow: Yeah, he could also put a land mine in our path if we go out there.
-- Chief Elgin -
Troy Barlow: Let's just stick to the plan. The plan is for the gold, right?
Chief Elgin: Hold on, we can help these people first, and then we can be on our way.
-- Chief Elgin -
[Maj. Gates knows a map has been found in one of an Iraqi soldier's orifices, but isn't sure which]
Archie Gates: Good afternoon. Would this be the proctology tent?
Chief Elgin: No, sir.
Archie Gates: Maybe it's the urology tent. Or the neurology tent. Or the ear, nose, and throat tent.
Troy Barlow: Captain's at a staff meeting, sir.
Archie Gates: Captain a proctologist?
Conrad Vig: What's a proctologist, sir?
-- Chief Elgin -
Archie Gates: You know anything about gunshot wounds?
Conrad Vig: I don't know.
Archie Gates: Specifically, the worst thing about a gunshot wound, provided you survive the bullet, is something called sepsis.
Chief Elgin: Infection of the blood...
Archie Gates: That's right. Say a bullet tears into your gut. It creates a cavity in the dead tissue. That cavity fills up with bile, and bacteria, and you're fucked.
-- Chief Elgin
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