Charlie Bucket Quotes in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Willy Wonka: Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking!

Charlie Bucket: You can eat the grass?

Willy Wonka: Of course you can! Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Willy Wonka: [getting his shoes shined by Charlie, his face hidden behind a newspaper] Pity about that chocolate fellow, Wendle, er, Walter...

Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka.

Willy Wonka: That's the one. Says here in the papers his new candies aren't selling very well. But, I suppose maybe he's just a rotten egg who deserves it.

Charlie Bucket: Yep.

Willy Wonka: Oh really? You ever met him?

Charlie Bucket: I did. I thought he was great at first, but then he didn't turn out so nice. He also has a funny haircut.

Willy Wonka: [coming out from behind the newspaper] I do not!

Charlie Bucket: Why are you here?

Willy Wonka: I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?

Charlie Bucket: My family.

Willy Wonka: Ew!

Charlie Bucket: What do you have against my family?

Willy Wonka: It's not just *your* family, it's the whole idea of...

[balks]

Willy Wonka: You know, they're always telling you what to do, what not to do and it's not conducive to a creative atmosphere!

Charlie Bucket: Usually they're just trying to protect you, because they love you.

[Willy looks away]

Charlie Bucket: If you don't believe me you should ask.

Willy Wonka: Ask who? My father? Ha! No way. At least not by myself...

Charlie Bucket: You want me to go with you?

Willy Wonka: Hey! Hey, what a great idea! Yeah!

[jumps up]

Willy Wonka: And you know what? I brought transporta...

[bangs into the glass elevator and falls down]

Willy Wonka: I have to be more careful where I park this thing.

Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless?

Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.

Willy Wonka: [about Violet grabbing the gum] I'd rather you didn't. There's still one or two things that are a...

Violet Beauregarde: I'm the World Record holder in chewing gum. I'm not afraid of anything!

[pops the gum in her mouth]

Mrs. Beauregarde: How is it, honey?

Violet Beauregarde: It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!

Willy Wonka: Yeah! Spit it out.

Grandpa Joe: Young lady, I think you'd better...

Violet Beauregarde: It's changing... roast beef and baked potato. Crispy skin and butter!

Mrs. Beauregarde: Keep chewin' kiddo! My little girl's gonna be the first person in the world to have a chewing gum meal!

Willy Wonka: Yeah. I'm just a little concerned about the...

Violet Beauregarde: Blueberry pie and ice cream!

Willy Wonka: That part.

Veruca Salt: [staring at Violet] What's happening to her nose?

[Violet keeps chewing and her nose starts turning purple]

Mr. Salt: You're turning blue!

Mrs. Beauregarde: Your whole nose has gone purple!

Violet Beauregarde: [touching her nose] W-What do you mean?

Mrs. Beauregarde: Violet, you're turning violet!

[to Wonka; concerned]

Mrs. Beauregarde: What's happening?

Willy Wonka: Well, I told you I hadn't quite got it right, 'cause it goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert. It's the Blueberry Pie that does it. I'm terribly sorry!

Violet Beauregarde: Mother, what's happening to me?

[continues to turn purple and starts to grow]

Grandpa Joe: She's swelling up!

Charlie Bucket: Like a blueberry!

Willy Wonka: [to Mrs. Beauregarde] I've tried it on, like, twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry. It's just weird!

Mrs. Beauregarde: But I can't have a blueberry as a daughter. How is she supposed to compete?

Veruca Salt: You could put her in a county fair!

[Wonka laughs]

Grandpa Joe: I saw Willy Wonka with my own two eyes. I used to work for him, you know.

Charlie Bucket: You did?

Grandpa Joe: I did.

Grandma Josephine: He did.

Grandpa George: He did.

Grandma Georgina: I love grapes.

Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka.

Willy Wonka: Huh?

Charlie Bucket: Why would Augustus' name already be in the Oompa Loompa song unless they...

Willy Wonka: [interrupts] Improvisation is parlor trick, anyone can do it.

[turns to Violet]

Willy Wonka: You, little girl. Say something. Anything.

Violet Beauregarde: Chewing gum.

Willy Wonka: Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most. See? Exactly the same.

Charlie Bucket: So, if I go with you to the factory, I won't ever see my family again?

Willy Wonka: Yeah! Consider that a bonus!

Charlie Bucket: Sorry we're late. We were brainstorming.

Grandpa George: Thought I heard thunder.

Willy Wonka: How do you feel about little raspberry kites?

Charlie Bucket: With licorice instead of string!

Mrs. Bucket: Boys, no business at the dinner table.

Charlie Bucket: Sorry, Mum.

Willy Wonka: I think you're onto something though, Charlie.

[Mike Teavee is taken away and Wonka moves towards the Great Glass Elevator with Charlie and Grandpa Joe]

Willy Wonka: Now, how many children are left?

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, Charlie's the only one left, now.

Willy Wonka: [looks at Charlie] You mean, you're the only one?

Charlie Bucket: Yes.

Willy Wonka: What happened to the others?

Charlie Bucket: [During the chocolate river ride, the group passes a door, where a window allows them to see Oompa-Loompas whipping a cow with paddles] Whipped cream.

Willy Wonka: Precisely!

Veruca Salt: That doesn't make sense.

Willy Wonka: For your information, little girl, whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips. Everybody knows that.

Charlie Bucket: [asking about Violet's gum] Why hold onto it? Why not start a new piece?

Violet Beauregarde: Because then I wouldn't be a champion. I'd be a loser. Like you.

Augustus Gloop: [offering the Wonka bar he had been munching on to Charlie] Would you like some chocolate?

Charlie Bucket: Sure!

Augustus Gloop: [yanking the candy bar away] Then you should have brought some.

Dr. Wonka: Do you have an appointment?

Charlie Bucket: No, but he's overdue.

Charlie Bucket: But it didn't close forever, it's open right now.

Mrs. Bucket: Ah, yes, well sometimes, when grown ups say "forever," they mean, "a very long time."

Grandpa George: Such as, I feel like I've eaten nothing but cabbage soup forever.

Mr. Bucket: Now pops...

Grandma Josephine: The factory did close, Charlie.

Grandpa Joe: And it seemed like it was going to be closed forever. Then, one day, we saw smoke rising from the chimneys. The factory was back in business!

Charlie Bucket: Did you get your job back?

Grandpa Joe: No. No one did.

Charlie Bucket: But there must be people working there.

Grandma Josephine: Think about it, Charlie. Have you ever seen a single person going into that factory? Or coming out of it?

Charlie Bucket: No. The gates are always closed.

Grandpa Joe: Exactly.

Charlie Bucket: But then, who's running the machines?

Mrs. Bucket: Nobody knows, Charlie.

Mr. Bucket: Your mum and I thought, maybe you want to open your birthday present, tonight.

Mrs. Bucket: Here you are.

Charlie Bucket: Maybe I should wait till morning.

Grandpa George: Like hell.

Mr. Bucket: Pop.

Grandpa Joe: All together we're 381 years old. We don't wait.

Mr. Teavee: [has just seen chocolate transported by television] So, can you send other things? Say, like, breakfast cereal?

Willy Wonka: Do you have any idea what breakfast cereal's made of? It's those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners.

Charlie Bucket: But could you send it by television if you wanted to?

Willy Wonka: Course I could.

Mike Teavee: What about people?

Willy Wonka: Well, why would I wanna send a person? They don't taste very good at all.

Charlie Bucket: "Up and out"? What kind of a room is that?

Willy Wonka: Hold on.

Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka? Why would Augustus' name already be in the Oompa-Loompa song, unless - ?

Willy Wonka: Improvisation is a parlor trick. Anyone can do it.

[Turns to look at Violet]

Willy Wonka: You, little girl. Say something. Anything.

Violet Beauregarde: Chewing gum.

Willy Wonka: Chewing gum is really gross. Chewing gum, I hate the most. See? Exactly the same.

Mike Teavee: No, it isn't.

Willy Wonka: [Pretends not to hear] Uh, you really shouldn't mumble. Because I can't hear a word you're saying. Now, on with the tour.

[Starts walking and everyone else follows]

Charlie Bucket: Are the Oompa Loompas really joking, Grandpa?

Grandpa Joe: Of course they're joking. That boy will be fine.

[looks worried]

Willy Wonka: How did you like the chocolate factory, Charlie?

Charlie Bucket: I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole world!

Willy Wonka: I'm very pleased to hear you say that, because I'm giving it to you.

Grandpa Joe: [sounding shocked] You're giving Charlie the...?

Willy Wonka: I can't go on forever, and I don't really want to try. So who can I trust to run the factory when I leave and take care of the Oompa Loompas for me? Not a grown up. A grown up would want to do everything his own way, not mine. So that's why I decided a long time ago that I had to find a child. A very honest, loving child, to whom I could tell all my most precious candy making secrets.

Charlie Bucket: So that's why you sent out the golden tickets!

Willy Wonka: That's right. So the factory is yours, Charlie. You can move in immediately.

Grandpa Joe: And me?

Willy Wonka: Absolutely.

Charlie Bucket: But what happens to the rest...?

Willy Wonka: The whole family. I want you to bring them all.

[Willy and Charlie hug]

Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will they?

Willy Wonka: Hm... well, I think that furnace is only lit every other day, so they have a good sporting chance, haven't they?

[last lines]

Willy Wonka: But Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.

Charlie Bucket: What happened?

Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.

Mrs. Gloop: What a disgusting, dirty river!

Mr. Salt: Industrial waste, that. You've ruined your watershed Wonka: it's polluted.

Willy Wonka: It's chocolate.

Veruca Salt: That's chocolate?

Charlie Bucket: That's chocolate!

Grandpa Joe: Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.

Charlie Bucket: What's that?

Grandpa Joe: Veruca went first.

Charlie Bucket: [about the Wonkamobile] Is this going to go fast, Grandpa?

Grandpa Joe: It should, Charlie; it's got more gas in it than a politician.

[Willy Wonka and the group are still on the boat and are at the hallway outside the inventing room]

Willy Wonka: We're there.

Mrs. Teevee: Where?

Willy Wonka: Here. A small step for mankind, but a giant step for us. All ashore!

Mr. Beauregarde: Let me off this crate!

Mike Teevee: Now why don't they show stuff like that on T.V.?

Mrs. Teevee: I don't know.

Mr. Salt: What a nightmare.

Veruca Salt: Daddy, I do not want a boat like this.

[Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Joe read a sign]

Charlie Bucket: Dairy cream...

Grandpa Joe: Whipped cream...

Charlie Bucket: Coffee cream...

Grandpa Joe: Vanilla cream...

Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Joe: Hair cream?

Willy Wonka: Meine Herrschaften, schenken Sie mir ihre aufmerksamkeit

[My friends (masters), please give me your attention]

Willy Wonka: .

Mrs. Teevee: That's not French.

Willy Wonka: Sie kommen jetzt in den interessantesten und gleichzeitig geheimsten raum meiner fabrik.

[You have now come to the most interesting and, at the same time, the most secret room of my factory]

Mr. Salt: I can't take much more of this.

Willy Wonka: Meine Damen und Herren, der Inventing Room

[Ladies and Gentlemen, The Inventing Room]

Willy Wonka: . Now remember, no messing about. No touching, no tasting, no telling.

Grandpa Joe: No telling what?

Willy Wonka: You see, all of my most secret inventions are cooking and simmering in here. Old Slugworth would give his false teeth to get inside for just five minutes, so don't touch a thing!

[Charlie and Grandpa Joe are floating in the fizzy lifting room]

[Grandpa Joe does a somersault in midair]

Charlie Bucket: Hey, you did it, Grandpa.

Grandpa Joe: Ohhhh... ohhhh, I think I hit an air pocket.

Charlie Bucket: You can fly to the moon this way.

Grandpa Joe: Let's just fly south for the winter.

Charlie Bucket: Why not? I'm a bird!

Grandpa Joe: I'm a plaaaaaaane!

Charlie Bucket: I'm... going too high!

Charlie Bucket: [as the Wonkatania is going through the tunnel, to Grandpa Joe] This is kind of strange.

Grandpa Joe: [excitedly] Yes, it's strange, Charlie, but it's fun! Ha-ha!

[they grin at each other]

[Willy Wonka greets Charlie and Grandpa Joe at the gates of the WONKA factory]

Willy Wonka: And who is this gentleman?

Charlie Bucket: My grandfather, Grandpa Joe.

Willy Wonka: [vigorously shaking Grandpa Joe's hand] Delighted to meet you, sir. Overjoyed, enraptured, entranced. Are we ready? Yes, good. In we go.

Charlie Bucket: [to Grandpa Joe, after opening the Wonka bar they think has the last Golden Ticket in it] You know... I'll bet those Golden Tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.

[Wonka walks down the hall which gets shorter as it goes on in the skewed perspective room]

Charlie Bucket: Hey, the room is getting smaller.

Mrs. Teevee: No, it's not. *He's* getting *bigger*!

Mr. Salt: He's at it again!

Mike Teevee: Where's the chocolate?

Sam Beauregarde: I doubt if there is any.

Mr. Salt: I doubt if any of us will get out of here alive.

Willy Wonka: Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.

Mrs. Gloop: You're not squeezing me through that tiny door!

Mr. Salt: You're off your bleeding nut, Wonka. No one can get through there!

Charlie Bucket: Hey Grandpa, what was that we just went through?

Willy Wonka: Hsaw Aknow.

Mrs. Teevee: Is that Japanese?

Willy Wonka: No, that's Wonka wash, spelled backwards. That's it, ladies and gentlemen, the journey's over!

Grandpa Joe: Finest bath I've had tin 20 years!

Charlie Bucket: [after eating the now-shrunken Wonka bar] It's perfect.

Mrs. Teevee: It's unbelievable!

Grandpa Joe: It's a miracle!

Mike Teevee: It's a TV dinner!

Willy Wonka: It's Wonkavision.

Grandpa Joe: It could change the world!

Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, what'll happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?

Willy Wonka: My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.

Mr. Turkentine: Charlie Bucket, how many did you open?

Charlie Bucket: Two.

Mr. Turkentine: That's easy. 200 is twice 100...

Charlie Bucket: Not 200, just two.

Mr. Turkentine: Two? What do you mean you only opened two?

Charlie Bucket: I don't care very much for chocolate.

Mr. Turkentine: Well, I can't figure out just two! So let's pretend you opened 200. Now, if you opened 200 Wonka bars, apart from being dreadfully sick, you'd have used up 20% of 1,000, which is 15% half over again, 10%...

Charlie Bucket: [referring to Augustus' being stuck in the pipe] He'll never get out.

Grandpa Joe: Yes, he will, Charlie. Watch. Remember when you once asked me how a bullet comes out of a gun?

Charlie Bucket: [as Violet blows up into a blueberry] Why won't she listen to Mr. Wonka?

Grandpa Joe: Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit.

Augustus Gloop: [drinking from the chocolate river] Mm, this stuff is terrific.

Charlie Bucket: Grandpa, look at Augustus!

Grandpa Joe: Don't worry, he can't drink it all.

Willy Wonka: This is the great glass Wonkavator.

Grandpa Joe: It's an elevator.

Willy Wonka: It's a Wonkavator. An elevator can only go up and down, but the Wonkavator can go sideways, and slantways, and longways, and backways...

Charlie Bucket: And frontways?

Willy Wonka: ...and squareways, and front ways, and any other ways that you can think of. It can take you to any room in the whole factory just by pressing one of these buttons. Any of these buttons. Just press a button, and *zing*! You're off. And up until now, I've pressed them all... except one.

[gestures to a button near the top of the Wonkavator]

Willy Wonka: This one. Go ahead, Charlie.

Charlie Bucket: Me?

[Willy Wonka nods as Charlie presses the button]

Mrs. Teevee: [while waiting for Mike to appear on the screen] Why is it taking so long?

Charlie Bucket: A million pieces take a long time to put together.

Willy Wonka: [In the Wonkavator] Faster, faster; if we don't pick up enough speed, we'll never get through!

Charlie Bucket: Get through what?

Willy Wonka: Aha!

Grandpa Joe: You mean we're going...?

Willy Wonka: Up and out!

Grandpa Joe: But this roof is made of glass! It'll shatter into a thousand pieces! We'll be cut to ribbons!

Willy Wonka: Probably.

[Charlie begins to look nervous]

Charlie Bucket: [Takes loaf of bread from his knapsack and holds it up for everyone to see] How 'bout this?

Mrs. Bucket: Charlie, where'd you get that?

Grandpa Joe: What difference does it make where he got it? Point is he got it.

Veruca Salt: Hey daddy, I want a golden goose!

Charlie Bucket: Here we go again.