Charles Montgomery Quotes in Maid to Order (1987)

Jessie Montgomery: But, Dad, please! I'm zeroed out.

Charles Montgomery: I gave you $200.00.

Jessie Montgomery: Well, it's ancient history!

Charles Montgomery: I believe it was lunch time.

Charles Montgomery: I never thought I'd hear myself say something like this, Woodrow.

[Looks up at the stars]

Charles Montgomery: I wish I'd never had a daughter.

Charles Montgomery: [after discovering her receipt] ... $908 for a one-night bar tab?

Jessie Montgomery: I can explain.

Charles Montgomery: ...All right, go ahead.

Jessie Montgomery: Daddy, there were these homeless people - a dozen of them - I took them dancing, and...

Charles Montgomery: [shakes his head, clearly not believing a word] Why me...? I thought, if I gave you everything you wanted, it might make up for your mother's death... I succeeded only in spoiling you, like a month-old yeast.

Jessie Montgomery: Daddy - Is it true Aunt Mildred's a lesbian?

Charles Montgomery: [lets out a deep breath] You are *completely* lacking in character.

Jessie Montgomery: I know it. I'm sorry.

Charles Montgomery: No, you're not.

Jessie Montgomery: No, seriously, I am... Come on, Daddy-waddy-kins... let's kiss and make up, like we used to...

Charles Montgomery: That isn't going to do you any good, Jess. You've got to make something of yourself; you're not a kid anymore... I'm very disappointed in you.

Jessie Montgomery: Join the club, Pops.