Chadsworth Buckingham, III Quotes in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)


Chadsworth Buckingham, III Quotes:

  • Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [asking gigolos about their night] So... Assapopolis, got any She-Johns lined up for Tonight?

    Assapopoulos Mariolis: I got the herpes. What're you gonna do, heh.

    Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [chuckles Sarcastically, then rips off band-aid] Liar! Mahmoud, What's your excuse?

    Mahmoud: Uh, I just realized... I'm gay. Does anyone... want a blow job?

    [all the other Manwhores make a Sourly disgusted Face]

    Dutch Gigolo: I do.

    Mahmoud: Ok then. I guess I'd better go... put that penis in my mouth.

  • Gaspar Voorsboch: [pointing a Sword at Deuce] You die with the rest of them, Gigolo! Those Gigalos... robbed Me of My Manhood, I was never able to satisfy a Woman, and I shall see to it that they don't either!

    [Starts sword fighting with Deuce]

    Deuce Bigalow: You don't have to kill anybody, Gaspar, cause You can please a Woman! These Gigalos... don't know what they're talking about!

    Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [Watching from the TV outside the Building] Is He talking about us?

    Deuce Bigalow: Do You really think that all a Woman wants; is for someone to give Her a mud pretzel, Turkish snow cone, or an Irish facial?

    Chadsworth Buckingham, III: Yes they do, liar!

    [All the Women nod in disagreement]

    Deuce Bigalow: All a Woman really wants; is someone who cares about Her, asks Her about or day, or how She's feeling... or or at least pretends to.

    Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [All the Women agree with Deuce] What?

    Gaspar Voorsboch: ...or when She's sad...

    [Gaspar lunges his sword at Deuce, but misses]

    Gaspar Voorsboch: ... cry with Her! Face it, these Gigalos are just ripping Women off!

    Chadsworth Buckingham, III: Hey, I'll let You know that I've had absolutely no complaints from any of those freaks!

    Lily: [Slaps His Face] I faked it!

    Deuce Bigalow: Women don't care if You drive a fancy car, wear a Rolex watch, or have a gigantic schlong like... Heinz Hummer.

    Mahmoud: This Guy knows his shit!

    Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [All the Gigalos pull out objects that make it look like they have bulges] What are You all doing?... anybody else? *Lil' Kim pulls out a Tootsie roll*

    Deuce Bigalow: Let a Woman You know You really care about Her, and maybe She'll give You an Irish facial.

    Gaspar Voorsboch: [Knocks the sword out of Deuces hand, pulls out the remote detonator] We die together, Deuce!

    Deuce Bigalow: Please sir, You don't have to do this!

    Gaspar Voorsboch: They ruined My Life!

    Deuce Bigalow: Just give Me the detonator...

    Gaspar Voorsboch: No, My penis exploded!

    Deuce Bigalow: O.k... that's a tough one, I'll give You that, but having a penis... is overrated, trust Me.

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