Cassidy Quotes in The Lone Ranger (1956)

Cassidy: Well, gents. It's the same thing as a year ago. We need extra hands for the roundup and drive to Abilene. Who likes Mr. Kilgore's money? Owney Stewart?

[Owney spits]

Cassidy: Spanish Charlie? This town must be gettin' deep. I said I'm hiring for Reece Kilgore. Any of you got a case against him or me, holler out now and I'll hear it.

Powder: Looks like we ain't so popular, Cassidy.

Cassidy: They don't speak up, I'll pick the ones I want.

Cassidy: Are you loco?

Sheriff Sam Kimberley: Could be, but I'm wearing the star.

Cassidy: Pin it on your britches. You're bustin' out of them.

John Muller: What proof do you have they were Indians?

Cassidy: You wouldn't believe an Indian was bad if he scalped you. You'd say it was cooler that way.

Cassidy: You'll always be my favorite ex-boyfriend.

Cassidy: But you can't go around having fun all the time. You have to be serious.

Sutter: I am serious. I'm one hundred percent serious!

Cassidy: About what?

Sutter: About... *not* being serious!

Cassidy: I'm pretty sure they have a cure for AIDS, but they're not gonna release it because there's too much money in keeping people sick.

Valerie Graves: You're right. Just like how they never cured polio because the crutches industry was just a booming.

Cassidy: Yeah just like that.

Valerie Graves: They cured polio. And you'd know that if you weren't a fucking idiot.

Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Goddamn they don't make em' like they used to.

Cassidy: Fuckin' 80's man, best shit ever !

Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Bet'chr ass man, Guns N' Roses! Rules.

Cassidy: Crue!

Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Yeah!

Cassidy: Def Lep!

Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Then that Cobain pussy had to come around & ruin it all.

Cassidy: Like theres something wrong with just wanting to have a good time?

Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: I'll tell you somethin', I hate the fuckin' 90's.

Cassidy: Fuckin' 90's sucked.

Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Fuckin' 90's sucked.

Cassidy: [to Ram, as she touches his scars and after he shows her some of the scars he has accumulated throughout his career] He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: Give this to your son, it's an authentic Randy "the Ram" action figure. Tell him not to lose it, it's a $300 collectors item.

Cassidy: Really?

Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: No.

Cassidy: [while returning to the party] Where is everybody?

Claire: Probably dead.

Jessica: Yeah, and the corpses drove their cars home, idiot!

Jessica: It's Mickey... I would know those ugly ass shoes anywhere.

Cassidy: Is he dead?

Jessica: Well, he has a fucking tire iron through his head... Do you think it's the same one that killed Megan?

Cassidy: You make it sound like the tire iron killed Megan by itself.

Jessica: Thank you for the grammar lesson. I'm just sayin' it looks a little... updated, doesn't it? Like someone... pimped it out.

Mrs. Crenshaw: [points shotgun at Jessica] Talk.

Cassidy: Okay, listen, it was an accident and we'll explain everything later but right now, Clair is dead, Mickey's dead, Chugs is dead, and we don't know if Megan's alive or not.

Maggie: Wait, so Megan's not dead?

Jessica: We don't know! We need to get the hell out of here.

Mrs. Crenshaw: Who else is here?

Jessica: Kyle.

Mrs. Crenshaw: Is he in on this thing?

Jessica: [unconvincingly] No.

Mrs. Crenshaw: [cocks gun, points it back to her] Lie to me again.

Jessica: Okay, I told Kyle about Megan.

Cassidy: Of course you did! What's with this ''sisters for life'' crap, huh? Was I the only one that didn't tell anybody?

Mrs. Crenshaw: Where is Kyle?

Maggie: Don't look at me! He left as soon as he heard you coming.

Mrs. Crenshaw: Well, he, she or it is about to get two rounds to the face. You girls wait in Jessica's room. And call the police.

Jessica: Well, who knew Mrs. Crenshaw was such a badass?

Cassidy: I love you Jessica because you make being a bitch an art form.

Jessica: [irritated] Here, here.

Jessica: Please God don't let me get killed. Please God don't let me get killed.

Cassidy: Stop giving Him ideas.

Jessica: Cassidy, my room. Theta toast. Now.

Cassidy: You seen Andy?

Jessica: Hoes before bros.

Jessica: Ugh, This is so stupid. We are missing out on the part of the year.

Cassidy: I know, how inconvinent. Why couldn't Ellie have had a nervous breakdown tomorrow?

Jessica: You know Cassidy, your sarcasm makes you sound like a bitch. And nobody likes a bitch.

Cassidy: If this is the afterlife, then death must be retail paradise!