Casper Quotes in Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

[after the presidential montage]

Casper: That was creepy.

Trey: I tried to find more Nixon.

Fouchet: I like it when a woman takes pride in her appearance. Don't you?

Casper: Yeah, I hate it when a bitch lets herself slide.

Casper: Jesus. Could you use a smaller gun? You got blood on me again.

[Casper answers the ringing cell phone]

Casper: Hello.

Mike Lowrey: Yeah, can I speak to Romeo?

Casper: No, there ain't no Romeo here, asshole.

[Ferguson laughs]

Casper: [to Ferguson] What the fuck are you laughing at?

Marcus Burnett: Mike, the man has a gun to my head!

Mike Lowery: [pointing his gun at Casper] I bet he'll put it down if I put a hollow point in his eye, now won't he?

Casper: Your partner's a cocky nigger!

Mike Lowery: Oh damn, now was that necessary, sir? Why can't he just be a cop? He got to be a nigga too?

Casper: [Re: hanged man tarot card] It's not a symbol of death, it's a symbol of life. It's a journey. The guy's upside down, everything is falling from his pockets, he's gotta let go of his attachments. Only then can he change his perspective and be free. Get clarity. See the light.

Billie: That's some big words for a guy that didn't finish high school.

Casper: I picked it up from a fortune teller. She explained the whole thing. She read me the cards.

Billie: A fortune teller?

Casper: A gypsy from the Bronx.

Billie: And she read you the future?

Casper: The future ain't gonna read itself.

Billie: What's the long face for?

Casper: He's going from recession to depression.

Billie: I told you the economy's goin' to hell.

Casper: We're all goin' to hell.

Greg: They say, "salesmanship is ninety nine perspiration and one percent inspiration," but for me it's the other way around - when it comes to sincere marketing. This is a passion for me. And passion gives birth to inspiration. Inspiration to heal lost souls. Thirsty souls. They quench their thirst with the wrong substances. They sell supplements for everything today, but they still haven't cured deficiencies in spirit. What folks need is vitamin water of a much greater nature. I submit to you that every Catholic family should have Holy Water in their home. And it is the role of the church to put it there. Some people say that the church has fallen from grace. No sir, that's a lie. They say there is a crisis of faith. I say there's always been a crisis of faith. Too many forces are fighting against the side of heaven. The church shall prevail, but it needs to be fortified. What is the answer? We know the answer. But there's too much heresy blocking the airwaves. Good people are deeply lost in the realms of the unholy. "Forgive them for they know not what they do." No sir - that just won't cut it. We can forgive them but we cannot forgive ourselves for not showing them the way. They go with the flow? We have another flow to offer, and it is a mighty and holy river. Genesis Holy Water, from the River Jordan. The church should not only endorse it, but sell it. Wholesale. And believers will cross over to our side, as those who crossed the river Jordan to hear the lord preach - and they were healed! They say our flock is weak of heart, I say they're thirsty. Thirsty for holy water as they are for The Word. When the enemies of the lord sought to capture him, Jesus took refuge in the river Jordan, in the place John had first baptized him. "When all people were baptized, and Jesus was at prayer after likewise being baptized the skies opened and the holy spirit descended." Luke chapter three verse twenty one.

Billie: He knows his lines.

Casper: You got a bible here to test him?

Billie: No.

Casper: So you are the fool who walketh in the darkness - book of Casper, chapter nine verse nine.

Billie: It sounds good to me.

Casper: Of course it sounds good, he's a con artist, and he's fucking brilliant at it. Hats off!

Casper: Bravo. Bra-vo! What a performance. There are con men in this world and there are con artists. But this guy, man, he's a fucking da Vinci.

Greg: You have no idea who I am, and you talk too much.

Casper: Yeah? How much do you make a year?

Greg: None of your business.

Casper: That fuckin' much, eh?

Casper: FREE FOOD FOR THE POOR!

Casper: So what do you guys do?

Sam: We ride.

Casper: Outlaws, huh?

Sam: Yep. What about you?

Casper: Me?... I'm symbionese.

Sam: [confused] Cool... cool.

Casper: There's a girl... on my bed. YES!

[Casper sitting on his old sled, takes his baseball cap off]

Casper: I begged and begged my dad to give me this sled, but he acted like I couldn't even have it, because I didn't know how to ride it. But then one morning, I came down for breakfast and there it was, just for me, for no reason at all. I took it out, went sledding all day. And my dad said "that's enough" but I couldn't stop, I was having so much fun It got late, got dark, got cold... and I got sick, and my dad got sad.

Kat: What's it like to die?

Casper: Like... being born, only backwards. I remember, I didn't go where I was supposed to go. I just stayed behind, so my dad wouldn't be lonely.

Casper: All I want's a friend.

Amelia Harvey: That was a very noble thing you did tonight, Casper. I know Kat will never forget it. She needs her father. And I know yours won't forget it either. You fulfilled his greatest dream, Casper, and I know he is very, very proud of you. And for what you've done, I'm giving you your dream in return. But it's just for tonight. Sort of a Cinderella deal.

Casper: So I have until midnight?

Amelia Harvey: Ten.

Casper: Hey, Cinderella got until midnight.

Amelia Harvey: Cinderella wasn't twelve years old.

Kat: Sometimes I worry that I'm starting to forget.

Casper: Forget what?

Kat: My mom. Just certain things. The sound of her making breakfast downstairs. The way she'd put on her lipstick, so carefully. I do remember, she always used Ivory soap, and when she'd hug me, I'd breathe her in, so deep. And I remember before I'd go to sleep she'd whisper in my ear, "stardust in the eyes, rosy cheeks, and a happy girl in the morning." Casper?

Casper: Hmm?

Kat: If my mom's a ghost, did she forget about me?

Casper: No. She'd never forget you. Kat?

Kat: [about to sleep] Mm-hmm?

Casper: If I were alive, would you go to the Halloween dance with me?

Kat: Mm-hmm.

Casper: Kat?

Kat: Mm-hmm.

Casper: [whispers] Can I keep you?

Kat: Mm-hmm.

[Casper kisses Kat on the cheek]

Kat: Casper, close the window. It's cold.

[Casper curls up in bed by Kat's side]

Carrigan Crittenden: DIBS! Get this thing cooking, you flaccid little worm you!

Dibs: Ah, Carrigan! How kind of you to drop in!

[Carrigan laughs]

Dibs: You know, if there's one thing I've learned from you, it's 'always kick 'em when they're down'. And baby, you're six feet under. Oh, what a shame!

[grabs vial]

Dibs: Sorry, sweetheart; we're through!

Carrigan Crittenden: [gasps as she sees that Dibs is about to break the vial] I am not gonna forget this, you ungrateful, lousy little worm you!

Dibs: [chuckles sarcastically] You can haunt me all you want, but it's gonna be in a great big expensive house, with lovely purple wallpaper, and great big green carpets, and a little dog, called 'Carrigan' - a bitch, just like you! I've got the power! I've got the treasure!

Carrigan Crittenden: And you have a flight to catch!

Dibs: Huh?

[Carrigan flings Dibs out the window]

Carrigan Crittenden: [turns to Casper and Kat, calmly] Any other takers?

Casper: No, but aren't you forgetting something?

Carrigan Crittenden: What?

Casper: Your unfinished business.

Carrigan Crittenden: My what?

Kat: You know, unfinished business. All ghosts have unfinished business. That's why they don't cross over.

Carrigan Crittenden: Unfinished business? I have no unfinished business. I have my treasure, my mansion. I have EVERYTHING. I'm... just... perfect!

[she laughs evilly until a flash of light comes out of her as a sign that she is crossing over]

Carrigan Crittenden: [gasps] Wait! Wait! I lied! I have unfinished business - lots of unfinished business!

[more flashes of light appear]

Carrigan Crittenden: I-I'm not ready to cross over yet! Wait! You tricked me, you rotten little rats!

[Carrigan screams as the flashes of light causes her to vanish without a trace]

Kat: I can see right through you.

Casper: Yeah, kind of happens when you haven't got any skin.

Casper: [Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice] Come with me if you want to live.

[last lines]

Kat: [after everyone has left] Not bad for my first party, huh?

Casper: [friendly] Couldn't have been better.

Dr. Harvey: It ain't over get. BOYS!

[the Ghostly Trio appears and start playing Casper's song]

Casper: God, I'd kill for a pinky.

Stretch: [eating breakfast with Stinkie and Fatso] Ya know what the problem is? Casper's got no respect for us.

Fatso: After all we've done for the little glowworm.

Stretch: Yeah. HEY!

[he sees Casper cleaning the mess the trio made on the floor, via their breakfast]

Stretch: What the hell do ya think you're doin', Bulbhead? This floor used to be dirty enough to eat off of.

Casper: But we have company.

Stretch: Oh, yeah? Well, company loves misery.

[he turns into a Nike]

Stretch: BOOM!

[he kicks Casper out of the way and the whole trio laughs and cheers]

[Casper and Ronja are having sex in the same bed as Frank, while he is trying to sleep]

[subtitled version]

Casper: Frank. Come on. Do something.

Frank: What?

Casper: She's fucking horny, come on.

Frank: I want to sleep...

Casper: She's done so much for us. We're in her house, she made pancakes, do something, damn it. - Finger her ass.

Frank: Does she like that?

Casper: Everybody does. Come on, stick a finger in her ass.

Frank: [to Ronja] Would you like a finger in your ass?

Casper: Do it, for fuck's sake!

[Frank stick a finger in Ronjas ass, while she and Casper continues having sex]

Casper: The guy was like a major Pimp in the 70's, killed people and shit.

Solo: Okay, he didn't kill people.

Casper: Yes he did.

Solo: No he didn't.

Casper: Yes he did.

Solo: Okay, you're just making that up.

[first lines]

Casper: Don't go. Not yet.

'Becky' Rebecca: Why do you know some much about guns?

Casper: Because I'm from America.

Casper: I just expect shit to go the worst way possible.

'Becky' Rebecca: Well, that's probably why it does.

[last lines]

'Becky' Rebecca: Good night, Casper.

Casper: Good night, Rebecca.

'Becky' Rebecca: You were trying to impress me or something?

Casper: No, it just made me mad, is all. I kept seeing that one guy put his arm around you, and I could tell you didn't want him to. And then when you made that bank shot, he like picked you up and you're screaming for him to put you down.

'Becky' Rebecca: So you walked up to him and sucker punched him?

Casper: You think that was a sucker punch? I totally gave him a second to see that I was going to swing at him. Plus I don't think any punch to the face really counts as a sucker punch.

'Becky' Rebecca: First of all, those are my friends, and that is a completely insane way of handling it.

Casper: At least I have a job, bitch.

Paddy: Motherfucker, the Nazis had jobs.

'Becky' Rebecca: [about Afghanistan] What do you do there?

Casper: Play a lot of bridge, Rummy 500. Double Solitaire is quite popular.

[singing, drunk in a bathtub]

Casper: I'm Casper, the friendly ghost / The DOPEST ghost in town / All the bitches love me 'cause I'm fuckin' CASPER / The DOPEST ghost around.

Casper: [last words] Jesus Christ, what happened?

Casper: How did she smell? Did her puss stink?

Telly: Take a whiff.

[Telly holds up his fingers and Casper smells them]

Casper: Mmmmm. Butterscotch, yo. That's the best.

Casper: Now get in my way, BITCH!

Telly: But like, if you deflower a girl man, man, you're the man. No one can ever do that again. You're the only one. No one, no one, has the power to do that again.

Casper: Right. The way I see it. My outlook on the situation. It's like getting fame, you know what I'm saying? Say you was to die tomorrow right, fifty years from now all the virgins you ever fucked are gonna remember you. Right? They gonna tell their grandkids about that shit.

Casper: That girl was 12, you hit that shit up?

Telly: Who am I? I'm the motha-fuckin virgin surgeon.

Telly: You got any money?

Casper: Three pennies and a ball o' lint, kiiiddd.

Telly: I'm askin' you one last time. Do you got "dis-tick"?

Deli Owner: What are you saying, "dis-tick"?

Casper: He said this dick, motherfucker!

Telly: You happen to have dis dig?

Deli Owner: Wha?

Telly: This dig. I'm curious. Do you have it?

Deli Owner: What is dis dig?

Telly: Dis dig.

Deli Owner: What do you say?

Telly: This dig. I'm curious. Do you have it?

Deli Owner: Wha?

Telly: Dis dig man. Dis dig, dis dig...

Deli Owner: I don't understand... I don't understand you... uhhh.

Telly: OK... one last time. Do you have dis dig?

Deli Owner: What you say... dis dig?

Casper: He said THIS DIG mutha fucka! Don't you understand english?

Korean Guy: Stupy fucky boys. Fucky.

Casper: When you can stop, you don't want to. When you want to stop, you can't.

Casper: This is Jorge. Very limited English, but very large penis! Isn't that right Jorge?

Jorge: [shrugs] ... okay.

Casper: [to Dan] Promise me you'll stop. Promise me you'll stop before I do.