Cary Quotes in Your Friends & Neighbors (1998)

Jerry: [after much prodding by Barry] Ok. The best fuck I ever had. That would be your wife. That was the best fuck I ever had.

Cary: That beats my story.

Barry: Do you think you're good?

Cary: What?

Barry: I mean, do you think you're a good person?

Cary: Hey, come on, I'm trying to eat lunch here.

Cary: Okay, I see. You're a real piece of work, you know that?

Terri: That's great.

Cary: Nobody actually likes you, you're aware of this?

Terri: Are you for real? Nobody likes you either.

Cary: I don't get your kind. You women are all the same. You give my friend nothing but grief, always coming off like some dyke bitch. How do you live with yourself?

Terri: What the fuck is the matter with you? You treat women like sex objects then real people.

Cary: Hey, you don't want to have a drink with me, that's fine. I can take a hint. I have a healthy self image. But you keep dicking around people I know and one of these days I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna knock you on your ass. You are a useless cunt! Get use to it!

Cary: Do you know how I'd like to spend my last moment on earth? Curled up in bed with you. My arms around your chest, pressed up against your back, my lips on your skin as I say my last goodbye. What will you say to that?

Vogel: Yugh! I'm being hugged by a corpse!

Cary: Where are the seat belts?

Brewster: Seat belts are for pussies!

Cary: I say we sleep here tonight and head out on our own again in the morning.

Vogel: What, and just leave him?

Cary: We just met the guy. It's not like we're gonna follow him on Twitter.

Cary: What is that?

Vogel: Sounds like Carnie Wilson with a plate of chicken wings.

Cary: Why don't they just break through the window?

Vogel: Zombies are too weak.

Cary: They're not zombies. Zombies don't run.

Vogel: What about in Dawn of the Dead?

Cary: The zombies didn't run in Dawn of the Dead.

Vogel: The remake.

Cary: Phfft! The remake!

Vogel: I know... the original had subtext. You know what else the original had? Blue zombies! You have to admit, the first ten minutes of the remake were...

Cary: Hey, how much did you pay to see the remake? Twelve bucks? Kind of expensive for ten good minutes, huh?

Cary: Careful, it's slippery.

Vogel: It's like the back room at the ManCave in here. Remember that?

Cary: That wasn't me.

Vogel: That's a really photographic pile of junk, Cary.

Cary: I suppose you'd like it better if it wore a speedo.

Vogel: Everything looks better in a speedo.

Cary: They're vampires!

Vogel: Or atheists!

Cary: There're two guys back at the truck! Eat THEM!

Cary: I'm not a virgin! Don't you need virgin blood?

Vogel: It's hot. I'm getting sticky in my pants.

Cary: That always was your trouble.

Vogel: That's always been YOUR trouble.

Cary: Ha!

Vogel: I am what I am and you love it.

Cary: Do you know what my biggest fantasy is?

Vogel: That thing with the carrot?

Cary: Let me rephrase the question.

Brewster: Cary? Isn't that a girl's name?

Cary: Different spelling.

Brewster: Right! How often do you have to spell it?

Cary: There are lots of guys named Cary.

Brewster: Name one.

Vogel: Cary Grant

Brewster: Name another.

Cary: Cary Elwes.

Brewster: Who the fuck is Cary Elwes?

Cary: Hello? Princess Bride!

[Brewster looks under the truck]

Cary: What's the matter?

Brewster: Hell if I know, Cary.

Cary: Didn't your G.E.D. exam have a section on trucks?

Vogel: That's your flashlight? You couldn't give a hamster a colonoscopy with that!

Cary: We're hiking cross-country, not going spelunking.

Cary: I love you.

Vogel: Me too.

Cary: Come on, Brewster, you're an NRA poster-child, you have to have a gun!

[there are vampires outside the truck]

Cary: They might not be able to get in anyway, without being invited.

Vogel: That didn't work in The Return of Count Yorga.

Cary: Of course not, that was American International.

Vogel: So?

Cary: So each movie makes its own rules. None of it is grounded in reality.

Vogel: I saw one get killed by a bolt of lightning in Scars of Dracula.

Cary: Now, that is just stupid.

Brewster: If either of you mentions Twilight, I'll throw ya out the cab!

Cary: Who'd you kill?

Vogel: The mechanic!

Cary: Oh, right. He was a vampire, wasn't he?

Vogel: Will you still love me if I have black eyes and fangs?

Cary: Are you kidding? Have you seen yourself after five appletinis?

Kevin: He probably went home. No girls.

Cary: We got Amy and Dawn.

Kevin: Yeah, but I don't see them tickling my lizard.

Cary: He's too stoned!

Martin: Oh, drugs are so bad!

Cary: Excuse me, can I have another order of fries? Because my friend here is fat.

Charles: Funny, Chompers! At least I don't need a booster seat.

[as the water tower transforms into a spaceship]

Cary: What's he doing?

Joe Lamb: He's making a model.

Martin: Am I the only one here who doesn't know what we're talking about?

Cary: Probably, Smartin.

Martin: I don't like it when you call me that.

Cary: I'm sorry, Smartin, let's go cry about it.

Cary: Stop talking about production value, the Air Force is going to kill us.

Cary: Hey, pussy! Stop taking the fries away.

Charles: I ordered these fries for a reason!

Cary: Excuse me, can we get another order of fries because my friend here is fat.

Charles: Funny chompers, atleast I don't need to use a booster-seat.