Caroline Sexton Quotes in For Richer or Poorer (1997)

Caroline Sexton: [screaming as she is sitting in a pile of manure surrounded by cows] BRAD! BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

Brad Sexton: What? Quiet. Those cows will jump on you.

Caroline Sexton: [shrieks] They will?

Brad Sexton: [rolls his eyes] Stay there. I'll be right back.

Caroline Sexton: What do you mean, "stay here", Br...

[squishes her hands right in a pile of cow waste. wails]

Caroline Sexton: Eeeeeeeeeuuuuwww, I have COW POOP ON ME!

[sobs]

Caroline Sexton: [after he has just suggested splitting fifty fifty of their estate, i.e. debt] Fifty-fifty. Not on your LIFE!

Brad Sexton: Then it'll get UGLY.

Caroline Sexton: Good! I can do ugly!

[turns and walks away]

Caroline Sexton: I've done YOU for the last ten years!

Brad Sexton: ...If memories serve, you stopped doing me after six and a half!... Happy anniversary, honey!

Caroline Sexton: [offscreen] FUCK OFF!

Brad Sexton: [dryly] Okay.

Mary: You're so lucky to not have a pre-nup.

Caroline Sexton: We didn't have anything, there was nothing to nup.

Caroline Sexton: Coffee? This is a coffee-drinking ordnun? Ohh, praise the Lord, sister.

Caroline Sexton: Hmm. It's actually soft over here.

Brad Sexton: [mutter] Probably because you're sitting in cow dung.

Caroline Sexton: Excuse me?

Brad Sexton: [aloud] Uh... I said, "My oh my, is that cow hung."

Caroline Sexton: You are such a pervert.

Caroline Sexton: Well, after tonight, I don't know how I'll ever be able to face my friends again.

Brad Sexton: Just pretend they're a mirror.

Caroline Sexton: You're so funny, honey. Actually, I'll just confess to them that I'm married to a MORON. And that way, they'll feel sorry for me and forgive me.

Brad Sexton: Well, this "moron" built you this fabulous life.

Caroline Sexton: Oh, that again. Oh, I forgot. That's right, honey! You did EVERYTHING, and I did NOTHING.

Brad Sexton: Well, I have developed sixteen commercial properties in the last five years, including Euro-Alcatraz.

Caroline Sexton: Oooooh... I'm sorry, did you say "Euro-Alcatraz"? "Vacation in... The Big House"? Say, did you hear that?

Brad Sexton: What?

Caroline Sexton: The sound of an entire continent laughing at you?

[chuckles]

Brad Sexton: [sarcastically] Ouch! Caroline, refresh my memory, will you please? What exactly have YOU done in the past five years? Wait a minute: I know. You've done Bloomingdale's. You've done lunch. You've done chemical peels. You've done collagen. You've done liposuction.

[makes sucking noises]

Brad Sexton: Wowwww.

Caroline Sexton: You poor, deluded little monkey. Who do you think brought you to these people? Hmm? Without me, Brad, you would be nothing.

[blows cigarette smoke in his face]

Brad Sexton: [sputters] I beg your pardon, but I had a very successful real estate career before I ever met you.

Caroline Sexton: Oh. Really. So you consider leasing parking spaces a real estate career? Well, here's a news flash, BRAD: I took you from K-Mart to Tiffany's. I invented you.

Brad Sexton: Okay. Well. Then I guess you have no one else to blame... but yourself.

Caroline Sexton: That's -

[stops. Brad laughs, she groans]

Caroline Sexton: I guess not.

Brad Sexton: [she walks away, he smirks after her] Good NIGHT.

[they each retreat to their own separate sleeping quarters]

Caroline Sexton: [Somebody cuts Caroline's credit cards, she immediately blames it on Brad]

Caroline Sexton: That BASTARD.

[Brad's account is frozen, he thinks Caroline is the guilty party]

Brad Sexton: That BITCH.

[Brad has just managed to crash their car - a stole taxi - into a lake]

Brad Sexton: [trying to help her out] Are you all right?

Caroline Sexton: No, I'm *not* all right, you *idiot*!

Brad Sexton: Come on!

Caroline Sexton: Get out of my way! I'll do it myself!

Caroline Sexton: [flailing her arms around] Help! I'm drowning! Please, Brad, help, don't let me die!