Carol Ann Quotes in Mommie Dearest (1981)

[after discovering dirt underneath a large indoor planter]

Joan Crawford: Ohhhh... Helga. When you polish the floor, you have the move the tree. If you can't do something right, don't do it at all.

Helga: I'm sorry, Miss Crawford...

Joan Crawford: Gimmie the soap. You see, Carol Ann, you've got to stay on top of things every single minute.

[doorbell rings]

Joan Crawford: Carol Ann, will you get that?

Carol Ann: Yes, Miss Crawford.

Joan Crawford: Helga, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt.

[Joan is passed out in her dressing room]

Christina Crawford: I came in and I found her like this. You think she needs an ambulance?

Carol Ann: She doesn't need an ambulance. She's drunk.

Carol Ann: [embracing Christina at Joan's funeral] Chris-*tina*! *Tina*!

Christina: Carol-Ann.

Carol Ann: My little Tina. She always loved you so very much, Christina.

Christina: I need to believe that. I need so much to be able to believe that now.

Carol Ann: She did.

Carol Ann: Your mother's been practicing and practicing. You know how perfect she always wants to be. Well this time, she must be perfect. Do you understand?

Christina Crawford: She wants everything to be perfect.

Vida Boheme: Carol Ann, if we're going to be friends, there really is something I should tell you...

Carol Ann: Adam's Apple?

Vida Boheme: What?

Carol Ann: Adam's Apple. Women don't have Adam's Apples, only men have Adam's Apples. The first night that you came to town I noticed that you had yourself an Adam's Apple.

Vida Boheme: Then, then you know?

Carol Ann: I know, that I am very fortunate to have a lady friend who just happens to have an Adam's Apple.

Carol Ann: I love you Ms. Vida Boheme!

Vida Boheme: [hugs Carol Ann] I've waited my whole life to hear those words said to that name. And I'm very, very, very happy that you're the one to say them.

Vida Boheme: Oh, Carol Ann, what on earth...?

Carol Ann: I'm just so clumsy. I mean... Virgil yelled at me. I mean, he called out to me. And, well, I just spilled the stew.

Vida Boheme: Hun, do you like, ever, not cry in this room?

Carol Ann: This is the presidential suite.

Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: Must've been one of those bad presidents.

Carol Ann: Vida I do not think of you as a man and I do not think of you as a woman

[pause]

Carol Ann: I think of you as an angel.

Vida Boheme: I think that's Healthy!

[after Billy Ray comes to ask a girl out]

Vida Boheme: I declare.

Bobby Lee: I declare.

Carol Ann: *I* declare.

Noxeema Jackson: I decline.

Carol Ann: This is the presidential suite.

Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: Must've been one of those bad presidents.

Brooke Swinkowski: Listen, would you prefer it if I didn't enter this whole butter contest thing?

Laura Pickler: Absolutely.

Brooke Swinkowski: Excellent.

[signs up]

Brooke Swinkowski: It's on cunt!

Carol Ann: I haven't heard that word since my dad died.

Carol Ann: They're back.