Carol Quotes in Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

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Carol Quotes:

  • James T. Kirk: Dr. Marcus, I'm glad you could be part of the family.

    Carol: It's nice to have a family.

  • Carol: [slaps her father] I am ashamed to be your daughter!

  • Doc: You were supposed to make a deal with him, not fuck his brains out!

    Carol: The deal wasn't good enough!

    Doc: Then you should have walked away.

  • Carol: Oh, I guess we should stop, 'cause Harold has to pee.

    Rudy Travis: Get back in the front. Get back up there with Harold! Get up there!

    Harold Carvey, DVM: I don't want to play... this game... anymore!

    Rudy Travis: You pee in your pants.

  • [At the Amtrak's Flagstaff station, Carol, putting change into the slot, is about to put the bag of money in a locker when a man arrives]

    Red Shirt: [grabs the bag] Let me help you with that.

    Carol: No, it's okay.

    Red Shirt: No, no. It's a big bag.

    [the man puts the bag into the locker, close and locks it]

    Red Shirt: [hands Carol the key] There ya go.

    Carol: Thank you.

    Red Shirt: Glad to help.

  • Carol: What is going to happen?

    Nancy Pryor: We're going to land the plane somehow.

  • Sherm: Do you have to booze it up, Carol?

    Carol: A mixed drink is not booze, Sherman, it's a cocktail, a before-dinner drink.

    Sherm: But dinner isn't for five hours yet.

  • Carol: [to Coffin Ed Johnson] The trick is to catch Brother Wolf's ass in the briar patch... Right?

  • Carol: [Carol sees Gravedigger Jones and Coffin Ed Johnson sitting at her table] I thought you said I should be seen with the right people, Uncle Caspar?... Does that include a couple of Uncle Tom cops?

  • Coffin Ed Johnson: [to Carol] Now, you're part of the revolution... The Rabbit Revolution... And Brother Rabbit and Brother Wolf got a big difference of opinion about that honey tree... And Little Sister Fox, she ain't the only one that big bad wolf been trickin'

    Carol: So, the trick is to catch Brother Wolf's ass in the briar patch, right?

    Coffin Ed Johnson: Right.

  • Carol: This part of your kingdom's not so good.

    Max: Why?

    Carol: Well, look: this used to be all rock, and now it's sand, and then, one day, it's going to be dust, and then the whole island will be dust, and then... well I don't even know what comes after dust.

  • Max: Carol, did you know the sun was gonna die?

    Carol: What? I never heard that... Oh, come on. That can't happen. I mean you're the king, and look at me, I'm big! how can guys like us worry about a tiny little thing like the sun, hmm?

  • Carol: [Max is waking up as Carol carries him] I didn't wanna wake you up... but I really wanna show you something

    Max: Okay.

    [Climbs onto Carol's shoulder]

    Carol: And on our way... I can show you your kingdom. This is all yours. You're the owner of this world. Everything you see is yours. Oh, except that hole over there, that's Ira's. The tree's yours, but the hole is Ira's. But everything else is yours. Except for that rock over there, that's not yours. That little rock next to the big rock. But everything else in the kingdom... except for that stick. That little stick right there, that's not yours. I want you to be king forever, Max.

    Max: Yeah, definitely.

  • Carol: If I was stranded on a desert island and could only take one thing, it'd be Douglas. We can share him if you want.

  • Carol: Hey king, watch this.

    [attempts to flip but hits tree]

    Carol: All right tree, we'll settle this later.

  • Max: [upon seeing Carol remove his crown from a pile of bones] Are those... other kings?

    Carol: Oh, those? I don't know anything about that. Those were like that when we got here.

  • Carol: I don't talk to owls. Owls are stupid.

  • Max: Did you make this?

    Carol: Yeah, yeah.

    Max: It's very good.

    Carol: We were gonna make a whole world like this. Now, everyone used to come here, but you know... you know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart. And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore.

    Max: Yeah.

    Carol: Well it was like that.

  • Carol: Who threw Richard?

  • Carol: So, what ever happened with you and the Vikings?

    Max: Well, in the end I had to leave.

    Carol: Why?

    Max: I'm not a Viking or a king, or... or anything.

    Carol: So, what are you?

    Max: I'm Max.

    Carol: [sigh] Well, that's not very much, is it?

    [walks away]

  • Carol: Murderer.

    Tina: It was an accident, Mum.

    Carol: So were you.

  • Carol: You didn't let him see you do number twos, did you Tina?

    Tina: Never!

    Carol: Mystery, Tina, is a woman's sanctuary.

  • Tina: You all right?

    Carol: I was just thinking about Poppy. She was me only friend.

    Tina: Oh, Mum. I'm your friend.

    Carol: You're not a friend. You're just a relative.

  • Chris: I'll bring her back safe, don't you worry. Hey, I understand you collect snow globes.

    Carol: I don't like you.

    Chris: OK, well, see you, then.

  • Carol: What's going on?

    Chris: I'm just admiring your artwork, Carol. It's fantastic.

    Carol: I don't want anyone in my room.

    Tina: Chris was just saying how talented he thinks you are.

    Carol: It's my private sanctum. I don't want anybody looking.

    Tina: Well, no one's looking in your sanctum, Mum.

  • Carol: Everyone with their little perspective. Perspective shuts out the universe, it keeps the love out.

  • [In the airport, Daniel, Carol, Sam, and Carol's son are waiting. Joanna appears at the gate]

    Sam: There she is!

    [he runs to her]

    Joanna Anderson: Hi!

    [Sam wants to kiss her, but holds back]

    Sam: Hello.

    Daniel: [watching] Agh! He should have kissed her...

    Carol: No, that's cool.

  • Carol: [to Falfa] Your car is uglier than I am!

    [both John and Falfa look at her oddly]

    Carol: Uh... that didn't come out right.

  • Carol: Oh, rats. I thought some of my friends might be here.

    John Milner: Probably a couple of weeks past their bedtime.

    Carol: Oh, wait, there's Dee Dee. I hope she sees me.

    John Milner: Oh, shit. Dee Dee!

  • Carol: [John turns off the radio] Why did you do that?

    John Milner: I don't like that surfin' shit. Rock and roll's been going down hill ever since Buddy Holly died.

    Carol: Don't you think the Beach Boys are boss?

    John Milner: You would, you grungy little twirp.

    Carol: Grungy? You big weenie! If I had a boyfriend, he'd pound you.

    John Milner: Yeah, sure.

  • John Milner: Shit! Hey, get down!

    Carol: Hey, is this what they call "copping a feel"?

    John Milner: What? No, get up, N-O. Sheezus.

    Carol: What's your name?

    John Milner: My name? Mud, if anybody sees you.

  • Carol: Oh, no, not me. Not old Carol. The night is young and I'm not hittin' the rack till I get a little action.

  • Carol: You're a regular J.D.

    John Milner: File that under uh, C.S. over there.

    [hands her the ticket Holstein just issued him]

    Carol: C.S.? What's that stand for?

    John Milner: Chicken shit - that's what it is.

    Carol: Oh.

    [puts the ticket in the glove compartment which is full of similar tickets]

  • John Milner: So, your Judy's little... Shit! How old are you?

    Carol: I'm old enough. How old are you?

    John Milner: I'm too old for you.

    Carol: You can't be that old.

  • Carol: I just love listening to Wolfman. My Mom won't let me at home. Because he's a Negro. I think he's terrific.

  • Carol: [after being hit with a water balloon] Very funny. What a chop! Ha-ha! Quit laughing! Let's catch 'em at the light. Jump out and flatten their tires.

    John Milner: Wait a minute.

    Carol: Just do as I say!

    John Milner: Alright, boss.

  • Carol: [to John] Oh, race him. You can beat him.

  • Carol: Gee, thanks. It's just like a ring or something. It's like were going steady.

  • Carol: Oh... guys? Don't stay in here all day. I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector; it was beeping all night.

  • Carol: Mark, he's a knight.

    Mark: He's just a fast food knight.

  • Tim: [Klingon phrase] qIrq HoH.

    Carol: It means I like to mate after battle.

    Tim: That's not what I said.

    Carol: Yeah...

    Tim: No, no. That wasn't the one I said. This one means Kill Kirk... And also, hallelujah... Depending on the context.

  • Carol: Okay, alright,

    [claps]

    Carol: . Welcome to single mothers and proud. As the names suggests we are all single, mothers and erm, proud.

  • Charlie: [Carol is giving Charlie oral sex on a beach] Oh God. Oh my God, Carol!

    Carol: [with her mouth full] I love you!

    Charlie: Okay!

    Carol: I love you!

    Charlie: Ohh, that's nice!

    Carol: [immediately stops] "That's nice?" I'm licking the sand off your balls and all you can say is "That's nice?"

  • Charlie: I just don't think the L-word should be thrown around.

    Carol: The L-word? What are you, eight? Try the F-word and the U-word.

  • Carol: You haven't met anyone?

    Madge Hardcastle: Single by choice. Just not my choice.

  • Norman Cousins: My name's Norman, and I'm lonely.

    Carol: My name's Carol. So am I.

  • Carol: I have narcolepsy. It's a sleeping disorder. It isn't the worst thing you could ever have. I'm just not allowed to fly in a plane or drive a car or work in a gun range.

  • Carol: Sitting there, alone in a foreign country, far from my job and everyone I know, a feeling came over me. It was like remembering something I'd never known before or had always been waiting for, but I didn't know what. Maybe it was something I'd forgotten or something I've been missing all my life. All I can say is that I felt, at the same time, joy and sadness. But not too much sadness, because I felt alive. Yes, alive. That was the moment I fell in love with Paris. And I felt Paris fall in love with me.

  • Carol: Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone, with whom to share this life.

  • Carol: And then something happened, something that is hard to describe.

    [looks around at people around her in the park]

    Carol: Sitting there in a foreign country, far from my job and all the people I knew, a feeling came over me. As if I recalled something, smething that I had never known and for which I had been waiting.

    Carol: But I didn't know what it was. Maybe it was something I had forgotten. Or something I had missed my whole life. I can only tell you that at the same time I felt joy and sadness.

    Carol: But not a great sadness. Because I felt alive. Yes. Alive.

    Carol: That was the moment I fell in love with Paris and the moment that I felt that Paris had fallen in love with me.

  • Carol: They say a lot of things about Paris. They say it's a place where artists find inspiration. They say it's a place where people come to discover something new about their lives. They say it's a place where you can find love.

    Carol: Of course, at my age, I didn't expect any of that.

  • Carol: Where are your boob shirts?

    [holds up Sarah's sweaters]

    Sarah: What?

    Carol: Your *boob* shirts!

    Christine: Don't worry, I brought some of mine!

  • Christine: [Sarah is in the bath and not picking up the phone] Sarah, it's me, Christine. Pick up. Come on, Sarah. I already talked to Dad.

    Sarah: [sighs and answers the phone] Who else knows?

    Christine: No one.

    Sarah: Come on, Carol has to know.

    Christine: Why does Carol have to know? Couldn't I once know something before she does?

    Sarah: [realizing] She's there with you, isn't she?

    Christine: No.

    Sarah: Hello, Carol.

    Carol: [small beat] Hi, Sarah. I was telling Chris it's a shame I didn't know about this before because I would have called Uncle Chet. We could have doubled.

    Sarah: Oh, no. This story is going to be immortalized into family history, isn't it? Told and retold at Thanksgiving dinner, year after year...

    Carol: Oh, not just Thanksgiving. I think it's a good Christmas story to.

    [both Carol and Christine laugh]

    Sarah: Bye guys.

    Christine: [laughing] Wait. Tell the truth. One a scale of one to ten how would you rate Dad as a date? Hot, super hot?

    [Sarah hangs up]

  • Carol: Hello! Don't worry, it's just me. I'm in the kitchen. I filled your freezer again. There's now enough meat to feed every guy who answered your ad and still...

    [Walks in from the kitchen and sees Jake]

    Carol: Whoa.

    Sarah: Jake Anderson, my sister Carol. Jake did, in fact, answer the ad.

    Jake: Do I get my meat?

    [Carol tosses him the meat]

  • Carol: I'm not supposed to be doing this, but I just want you to know that you were so real in your response to the aliens. I mean, I wasn't even sure that I could be a pod person, but now I'm enjoying it, because you made the aliens come alive. It was like they were living inside of me! At first I was nervous about us having sex, but now I think it's a good idea, as long as we do it in a professional manner... and of course, there will be a lot of people watching. I won't bother you anymore.

  • Carol: I just want to give you my card. I'm not a vocal coach anymore, but I would make an exception for you because you sound like a squeaky toy. And I don't mean that in a bad way.

  • Carol: This Wednesday, one woman will teach another woman to sound a little less retarded.

  • Louis: The studio heard the temp recording you did and they want your voice on the trailer, Carol.

    Carol: But I'm a chick.

    Louis: Yeah, I know. I'm acutely aware of that.

  • Stacy: [high-pitched squeaky voice] Do you know where I can get a smoothie around here?

    Carol: [raises her voice to mimic the "sexy baby" pitch] I don't know where you'd get a smoothie around here at all. I'm so sorry!

    Stacy: Oh... okay, thanks so much!

    Carol: Yeah, no worries!

  • Carol: How does everybody know about that? I don't understand.

    Louis: The Russian community is really tight.

  • Stacy: I've been interviewing for about ten months.

    Carol: And why do you think that is?

    Stacy: Because I sound like a sexy baby.

  • Louis: l just thought maybe it would be weird sleeping in the same place since we've both admitted that we like each other. You know?

    Carol: Yeah. It is awkward sort of.

    Louis: Yeah. But now that we've acknowledged it, it's not as weird, though. Right?

    Carol: Yeah.

  • [first lines]

    Sam Stone: Carol, did I ever tell you why I married her?

    Carol: Yes, Sam, you told me many, many...

    Sam Stone: Her father was very, very rich, and very, very sick. The doctors assured me he'd be dead any minute. There wasn't a second to lose! I rushed right out and married the boss's daughter. He was so sick, it was like the Angel of Death was sitting in the room with him, watching the clock. They pulled the plug on him... he wheezed and shook for about an hour... and then... he stabilized. The son-of-a-bitch just got older and sicker. And older, and sicker, and older and sicker...!

    Waiter: More coffee, sir?

    Sam Stone: No!

    [the waiter leaves]

    Sam Stone: I couldn't wait any longer, so I went out and made my own fortune. The old fart hung in there for 15 years. Finally died of natural causes. I want the rest of that money! His money, her money, it's my money!

  • [about his wife and his plan to murder her]

    Sam Stone: I had to live with that squealing, corpulent little toad all these years. God, I hate that woman. I - I - I hate the way she licks stamps! I hate her furniture! And I hate that little sound she makes when she sleeps.

    [Sam imitates a whining nasal sound]

    Sam Stone: Ugh! And that filthy little shitbag dog of hers... "Muffy"!

    Carol: Aren't you scared?

    Sam Stone: Scared? Hell, no. I'm looking FORWARD to it. My only regret, Carol, is that the plan isn't more violent.

  • Carol: You get that tape of Sam Stone finishing off his wife, and that man will give us anything we want for the rest of his life!

    Earl Mott: Yeah! Then we're off to Haiti.

    Carol: Not Haiti, Tahiti!

    Earl Mott: Oh... I knew that.

  • Carol: Either the chief is a complete moron and complete morons are rare...

    [she looks up at Earl Mott, a "complete moron"]

    Carol: Or he's playing games with me!

  • Carol: So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would love to see that!

  • Carol: Have you ever been involved with a little person sexually?

    Steven Bedalia: No, just kid's stuff, you know? Y'know, all the kids would come over, we'd sit in a circle, play doctor and that kind of thing. Couldn't have been more than ten or twelve, so that doesn't really count.

    Carol: So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would have loved to see that.

    Steven Bedalia: You would like to see that.

    Carol: Yes, I would.

  • Carol: Careful, Mike. he's got a gun.

    Roy: I don't need a gun to take care of you. I am going to kick your Brady butt.

    Cindy: He said the "B" word.

  • Carol: I wish I could be gay again.

  • Elliot Hopper: Cancel the 5.

    Carol: Oh, no! You can't cancel the 5.

    Elliot Hopper: Then put the 5 at 4, and then cancel at 4.

  • [only shown on TV Version]

    Elliot Hopper: [suddenly being pulled up] No!

    [grabs onto desk to stop being pulled up]

    Carol: Don't cancel at 4!

    Elliot Hopper: No! I mean, you can do what you like.

    Carol: [gives confused look]

    Elliot Hopper: [getting pulled up again] Not now!

    Carol: Elliot, are you all right? Please hear me out.

    [turns away and rattles on]

    Carol: When you work with someone for a long time, you get to...

    Elliot Hopper: [literally going hand over hand to hold onto desk] Mmm-Hmm. Mmm-Hmm.

  • Carol: You don't "play", the quija board is a tool for communication.

    Dave: Communication with who?

    Carol: The dead.

    Adrienne: The dead? But they're dead!

    Carol: Dying isn't the end, it's a beginning.

    Linda: Aren't you supposed to ask it questions?

    Carol: Some poor soul or souls are supposed to inhabit each board. They're duty-bound to answer any question put to it. The dead have never left us, their world exists all around us, through this board, the dead can reach out to us...

  • John Milner: Hey! It's the little twerp!

    Carol: Don't little twerp me, John, I've grown.

    John Milner: [nods] A little bit.

  • [offering to give Maggie a make-over]

    Carol: Maggie, you are a very pretty girl.

    Maggie: No, I'm not.

    Carol: Yes, you are.

    Maggie: No, I'm not.

    Carol: Yes! But you make Mother Teresa look like a hooker.

  • Maggie: [explaining her disastrous come-on to Peter] I went upstairs and threw my clothes off.

    Carol: That's direct. What'd he say?

    Maggie: [beginning to sob] He said he wasn't in the vagina business.

    Carol: [taken aback] That's direct too... Has Peter ever been in the vagina business?

    Maggie: Yes. He slept with Sarah!

    Carol: Oh, there's a surprise. Was she engaged to Peter too?

    Maggie: No, they just had a brief affair.

  • Carol: I am not angry. I am just embarrassed. Is there anyone else down there you used to sleep with?

    Andrew: It was 10 years ago! Christ, 10 years ago, you were married to someone else.

    Carol: That is not the point. I did not try to keep it a secret.

    Andrew: I didn't try and keep it a secret. I just didn't think it was worth mentioning.

    Carol: Didn't think it was worth mentioning? You were ENGAGED to that FUCK-MONSTER down there and you didn't think it was worth MENTIONING?

    Andrew: No, I didn't!

    Carol: So she WAS a fuck-monster.

    Andrew: I did NOT say that!

    Carol: You did not DENY it!

  • Carol: Do you have any Equal?

    Peter: I'm sorry, I'm famous for having no equal.

  • Carol: You know what I hate the most about being a public figure?

    Andrew: What?

    Carol: The public.

  • Carol: [giving Vera a £5 note as a bribe] Why don't you do me a baked potato, steam me a few carrots and grill me a piece of chicken without the skin?

    Vera , Paul's Mom: [returning the £5 note] Why don't you go down to the shops, buy whatever you want and cook it yourself?

    Carol: Did you never see "Upstairs, Downstairs"?

  • Carol: [doing aerobics] I could FEEL the cellulite building up on me on the plane. I wonder if any airlines have planes with gyms ON them.

    Andrew: It's funny. I was gonna suggest we flew Gym Air, but I thought you'd prefer a plane with a seat.

    Carol: I think a gym on a plane is a GOOD idea.

    Andrew: And that's what makes you, you, darling.

    Carol: Now, you promised you'd be nicer to me on this trip.

    Andrew: That's cuz I thought we'd be getting away from it all. I didn't realize you were gonna bring it all with you.

    Carol: You'd love me less if I were fat.

    Andrew: [hesitates, about to speak, sighs] I think I'll take a walk.

  • Carol: Thank you very much for dinner, Peter. I enjoyed watching it.

  • Andrew: I can't believe Sarah. She seems to exist on a diet of fresh air and bonking!

    Carol: You should know!

  • [Peter has explained to Carol that she and Andrew are in his room, and should be in the one next to it]

    Carol: If this was my house, I'd want the best room too.

    [Picks up one bag]

    Carol: Andrew, bags!

    [She leaves]

    Andrew: She's fine when she's asleep

    Carol: [from hallway] I heard that!

  • Andrew: [Struggling with Carol's suitcase] What the fuck have you got in here? Weights?

    Carol: Yes.

  • [Carol is exercising vigorously on the kitchen floor]

    Maggie: What are you doing?

    Carol: Donkey kicks. I've eaten every thing in the place, and I'm trying to work it off before morning. I used to be bulimic. A year ago, I'd be in the bathroom throwing it all up. I'm much healthier now!

  • Carol: Look at this armoire! Is it real?

    Andrew: No, its imaginary!

  • [Paul, Brian and the chauffeur have brought Carol's bags into the room]

    Carol: [handing some money to the chauffeur] Thank you.

    The Benson's Chauffeur: [accepts the money] Thank you, madam.

    [leaves]

    Carol: [handing some money to Paul] Thank you.

    Paul: [accepts the money] Oh, Ta.

    [Leaves]

    Carol: [holding out some money to Brian] Thank you.

    Brian, Sarah's Escort: [holding his hands up] No, no, I'm a guest.

    Carol: [puzzled] A guest? Then, why did you carry my bags?

    Brian, Sarah's Escort: I don't know.

    [Leaves]

  • Carol: [when offered wine] Oh, none for me and none for him.

    [she points to her husband, Andrew]

    Carol: We're A.A.

  • Andrew: [Carol's going back to LA] I thought we were going to work on it?

    Carol: Well, if I thought for one second that you intended to try!

    Andrew: I see. You know there's nothing between me and Sarah.

    Carol: I know Sarah's not the problem. You're mad at you. Goodbye, sugar.

  • Carol: Oh I can't wait to get back to Connecticut.

  • Carol: Christ, you're worse that my dad. He's old - at least he's got an excuse for being a prick!

  • Carol: Can you drive?

    Gregory: No, but it runs in the family.

  • Carol: Do you want to watch "Weakest Link"?

  • Carol: I can't leave Arlo alone that long!

    Margene: Well how would you know? You haven't left his side since highschool.

    Carol: I have so!

    Margene: Trips to the ladies' room don't count.

  • Arvilla: [driving beside Emmett L. Johnson's rig] Hmmph. Wonder what the "L" stands for.

    Margene: Luscious.

    Arvilla: [laughs] Oh!

    Carol: Loser.

  • Carol: By the way, I saw Harvey last night with his secretary.

    Kate Linville Holroyd: Oh, yeah, I know, he said they were working late.

    Carol: At an orgy?

    Kate Linville Holroyd: [laughs] Carol, you know, you've always been really open with me, and I'd like to be open with you, too. You're a cunt.

    Angela Stone: But extremely well dressed.

    Carol: Thank you.

    Angela Stone: You're welcome.

  • Carol: The idea of me strutting up the aisle like some snowy white virgin is insane.

  • Sterling Scott: [after Bob's and Brendan's night together is revealed] Bob?

    Eric: Brendan...

    Matt: Eric!

    Aunt Alice: Brendan?

    Carol: Sarah...

    Sarah: Brendan?

    Celia: Celia!

    Beth: Matt?

    Matt: Brendan...

    Beth: Whoa!

    [Sterling and Sarah faint]

  • [about Max's Reserve Bank job]

    Carol: What chance is there that a crazy thing like this might succeed?

    Noodles: Don't ask me, ask Max.

    Carol: You know as well as I do that this is suicide, pure and simple, for everyone.

    Noodles: Yeah, well, don't tell me, tell him. You got your own methods.

    Carol: I tried. He doesn't want to screw anymore. All he thinks about is this job: tear gas, hostages... Now he's gonna do this, and he's gonna do it with or without you!

    Carol: Noodles, we've never liked each other. We put up with each other for Max. So why don't we get together once... and do something for him. And after that, we can go back to being enemies.

    Carol: You know... if you were all in jail first... there wouldn't be any bank job.

    Carol: I got the idea from your friend Max.

    Noodles: What do you mean?

    Carol: He laughs at you. He makes fun of you. He says Eve has got you by the balls. Every time you walk past this place, you shit in your pants. You'd do anything for the cops to pick you up, so you wouldn't have to do this. Well then, do it. Do it! Put him in jail. Put him in jail. Not long, just long enough so he can get the idea out of his mind. If you can't stand being away from him, put yourself there too. Better off than being dead. You know what to do. And if you don't, I will.

  • Carol: [looking at Noodles] Why don't we make it a threesome, huh?

    Max: Can't you see he's got other plans for tonight?

    Carol: Well, bring her along! We'll make it a foursome!

    Noodles: I'm not that kind of guy. Besides, I'm afraid if I give you a good crack in the mouth, you'd probably like it...

  • Max: While you were on vacation, we were working overtime. The union paid off. That's your share.

    Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Yeah. Even that geek, you know, Jimmy "Clean Hands," he respects us. I shed a little blood for the cause.

    Fat Moe: [handing newspapers to Noodles] Here, it's all in the papers. Morning Telegraph, they didn't like it, it says, "Underworld joins strikers in brutal battle." But the Post, they liked it: "Ends justify means in decisive gangland encounter." And they kvetched about the Atlantic City job.

    Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Newspaper guys never know what the fuck they want.

    Noodles: Well, you could have looked for me.

    Max: We did. Cockeye found you at the Chink's, so doped up you didn't even recognize him.

    Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: There you were. You called me "Deborah."

    Noodles: Go fuck yourself! Mind your own business!

    Max: We do our business TOGETHER, and broads do NOT get in the way... and you know it!

    Noodles: Yeah?

    Max: Yeah!

    Noodles: [indicating Carol] What's SHE doing here? It ain't Saturday. She should be screwing in Detroit.

    Carol: Well, she's screwing HERE now - and ONLY with Max!

    Noodles: Oh, yeah? With her husband peeping through?

    Carol: No, I left him.

    Noodles: You live with her and you tell ME not to mess with broads...

    Max: You forget one thing.

    Noodles: What?

    Max: I don't give a fuck about her!

    Carol: Max...

    Max: Shut up! Shut up!

    Noodles: Hey, Maxie, tell me something. What'll you spend your honeymoon on, a cathouse?

    Max: Shut the fuck up! Shut up! Just shut up! You want me to dump her? You want me to kick her fucking ass out of here? Want me to kick her ass out or what? You want me to kick...? Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out! Get out! Gonna tell me I don't have a way with women?

  • [Prohibition is repealed]

    Noodles: Hey, Maxie. Max! How much money we got put away?

    Max: Why?

    Noodles: Because we're unemployed.

    Max: About a million bucks.

    Carol: Oh, yeah? Where'd you put it?

    Max: In my underwear.

    Carol: I'd have found it there...

  • [Peggy introduces the gang to Carol]

    Peggy: You know these guys?

    Carol: [looking at their faces] No, I don't think so. No. No, I'd remember a bunch of good-lookers like these.

    [the gang ties bandanas around their faces]

    Carol: Oh... well, how could I forget? There was... there was only one of you I got to know personally, though.

    Max: Which one? Let's see how good a memory you've got for faces.

    [They unbotton their flies, and a delighted Carol takes a long look at the four men in front of her]

    Carol: [to Max] You!

    Max: No, him.

    [gestures to Max]

    Noodles: We've been hanging out so long we're starting to look alike.

    Max: Hanging out...

    Carol: Charmed. You can call me Carol. We've already met. Pleasure.

    Max: The pleasure... is all mine.

    [kisses Carol]

  • Carol: Max made fools of us, Noodles! He wanted to die! Did you know his old man died in the nuthouse? Max didn't want to end up the same way, so he put the idea in our heads to tip off the cops. And when they stopped the truck, Max started shooting first... just to get himself killed!

  • [In 1968, Noodles notices a picture]

    Noodles: What is this?

    Carol: Opening night. Fifteen years ago.

    Noodles: [pointing at a familiar person in the picture] Who's this?

    Carol: Patron saint of the place. Some actress.

    Noodles: Do you know her?

    Carol: No.

    [the woman is unquestionably and without a doubt Deborah]

  • [Max shows Noodles his latest purchase]

    Noodles: What is it?

    Max: It's a throne. It was a gift to a pope. It cost me about 800 bucks.

    Carol: It's from the 17th century.

    Noodles: What are you going to do with it?

    Max: I'm sitting on it.

  • Carol: Hit me!

    Noodles: What, are you crazy?

  • Carol: Don't you guys have to go kill somebody?

    John: No, We've always got time for a song!

  • Carol: The man I know is not the boy you remember.

    Lorenzo: None of us are.

  • Lorenzo: Do you love him?

    Carol: I don't think about it, Shakes. If I did, I'd say yes.

  • Carol: Mug me or marry me, Shakes. I'm too tired for anything else.

  • Carol: You know, you still need some money until you can earn some. You want me to help?

    Sonny: D'I have to fuck for it?

    Carol: Yeah.

  • Carol: Now I know why Mother calls you "a natural born whore."

    Sonny: That's not the reason.

  • Sonny: Twenty years ago, my mama used to work here. One day this Texas pimp came in, tried to steal her back to Dallas. She runs in the room, calls my daddy. My daddy runs through that door with this sawed-off shotgun, the pimp sittin' right over here, and my daddy let's this load of double-ought buckshot right past his nose. That pimp was up, out of here, never heard from again. That's the only story my mama ever told me about my daddy.

    Carol: Well, then, what happened to him?

    Sonny: I don't know. I never met him. You know, he just up and left. Mama won't talk abut him. Hell, I don't even know what he looked like.

  • Jimmy Fingers: Don't you understand? I'm going to bring you into dreams of yourself. All you have to do is believe in me.

    Carol: What? You're so full of shit!

  • Carol: So you're the one who better watch it, mate.

    Paul Toombes: Your drama school accent is slipping.

  • Johnny: Do you know me?

    Carol: What gave you that idea?

    Johnny: You were looking at me as if you did.

    Carol: Couple of gals were staring at you. All I did was follow their eyes and hit you. I couldn't very well miss... such a big target.

  • Carol: Nobody can make you feel any kind of way unless you let them. Period. The end.

    Kym: Thank you, Carol, but you people are my family. I mean, you make me feel like shit a hundred times a day.

  • Carol: You're a strange person.

    Ted: SHH! Tell no one.

  • Carol: God says to Adam, "Adam, I have something for you, but it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg." Adam thinks for a moment, then decides, "What can you give me for a rib?"

    Kathy: That's funny. Where'd you hear it?

    Carol: From the Bible.

  • Carol: Maybe she was just tired of dead ends, phone calls that were never returned, promises that were never kept, tripping over the same stone.

  • [Reno opens an envelope for the Con-Ed energy bill]

    Reno Miller: Holy Christ! What is this? They send us the bill to Madison Square Garden? What are they kidding me, man? How the hell are we supposed to pay this bill? What is this? The bill for three months?

    Carol: That's the bill for one month.

    Reno Miller: Christ, what have we got here? A refrigerator, a couple of lights?

    [opens another envelope]

    Reno Miller: Let's see here, telephone. Oh no! Houston, Texas?

    Pamela: My mother.

    Reno Miller: Look at this, L.A. $1.50... $2.75... $7.50, man.

    Carol: Yeah, they're mine.

    Reno Miller: You talked to L.A. one time for two hours and 10 minutes? What are you, out of your mind? Are you crazy? Holy Christ! What's this? Philadelphia?

    Pamela: My sister.

    Reno Miller: Miami?

    Carol: That's mine.

    Reno Miller: Trenton, New Jersey... Queens, man!... wait, isn't Queens a local call?

  • Barney: Anyone up for a game of Rummy?

    Carol: Where the hell have you two been?

    Barney: ...Or maybe Solitaire.

  • Carol: I'm telling you right now, I'm not into group sex or women.

  • Carol: You sleaze comforted him?

  • Carol: Lisa, you haven't even touched your meatloaf.

    Lisa: Meat is murder.

  • Lisa: It's like mom's pancakes. Every morning she makes them for breakfast. And you're always trying to fix the car, which for some mysterious reason has always stopped running. Then Mac & Cheese for lunch. Then we have meatloaf for dinner. Every night. At 8:00 we watch Murder She Wrote. We go to bed, wake up tomorrow, and do exact same thing.

    Bruce: Well you have school tomorrow, and I have work, so...

    Lisa: There is no school. There is no work.

    Carol: Then what about your birthday, that's not tomorrow either?

    Lisa: No. It never comes. It's always the day before I turn 16. It's pretty frustrating.

  • Leslie: What was that pill you gave to Julie?

    Carol: Demerol. She's gonna get so messed up, she won't know what's goin' on. So what's the deal?

    Leslie: [Becomes sympathetic] Well, I don't like it.

    Carol: [Appalled by Leslie's comment] So?

    Leslie: So, I just don't like it!

    Carol: Then, you're not coming?

    Leslie: I don't know!

    Carol: You know, I oughta pull over right now and let you out!

    Leslie: Yeah, why don't you?

    Carol: [Pulls over to the side of the tunnel and stops the car] Kitty, open the door and let this turkey out!

    Leslie: So what, you're really gonna let me out here, huh?

    Carol: You named it, you claimed it.

    [Leslie is appalled by Carol's order and orders Kitty]

    Carol: Open the door!

    [Kitty opens the door, and Leslie gets out of the car]

    Leslie: What, Kitty, you're going with her, huh?

    Carol: She sure as Hell is! She's a REAL Sister!

    [to Kitty]

    Carol: Come on, Kitty, shut the door. We're outta here.

    [Leslie and Kitty exchange concerned looks, and Kitty complies by closing the door. Leslie watches Carol's car speed off and walks off]

  • Kitty: Let's book up!

    Leslie: What's the big rush?

    Carol: I wanna get there before it closes, nerdle brain!

    Leslie: Nerdle brain; very nice.

  • Carol: We'll take my car. It starts every time.

  • Marty: Hey, what's going on?

    Carol: Ever try it under the shower before?

  • Skip: [after her car stalls] I thought you said she started every time!

    Carol: Every time 'cept now.

  • Carol: There's evil on this island. An evil that won't let us get away. An evil that sends out an inhuman, diabolic power. I sense its vibrations now. The vibrations are an intense horror. It will destroy us! The very same way it did all the others!

    Andy: Shut up, Carol!

  • Gus: [Gary is standing in the middle of the diner staring at Eleanor]

    [from behind him]

    Gus: Hey you! I told you to take that garbage out ten minutes ago. Now get it out!

    Carol: Oh Gus, he can't help it. You know he's a little slow.

    Gus: Never seen anybody so goddamn stupid all my life.

  • Carol: Do you believe in God, Mr. Barlow?

    Barlow: Do I believe in God? Sure I do. Do I like him? I think he's a pompous ass with a bad sense of humour.

  • Carol: You don't know about Buster, do you?

    Michael: Know what?

    Carol: He's been thrown out of every school on the east coast. He's a thief, pervert, a liar and a queer. You didn't know all that, did you?

    Michael: I guess I really don't care.

    Carol: That's what I like about you, Michael. You've always been very honest. May I be honest with you?

    Michael: Why not? Go on.

    Carol: You didn't love Susan, did you?

    Michael: [short pause] No.

    Carol: Why did you marry her?

    Michael: She became pregnant. I thought it was mine and I married her.

    Carol: Why did you? We could have gotten rid of it.

    Michael: Maybe I wanted to.

    Carol: Why?

    Michael: To get away from Mother. And this house.

    Carol: And me?

    Michael: Maybe.

    Carol: I'm glad Susan's dead. Did you drive her to it?

    Michael: No, I don't think so. There's something funny about that. I don't think she had the nerve to do it. In fact, I don't think she did. Maybe I'm wrong. I just don't know.

  • Carol: Hell, you can buy a penis on almost any corner. Sure they are made of rubber, but they come without the angst.

  • Carol: Hey... I went out with that guy Eddie in Legal. It was a total waste.

    Myra: Why is that?

    Carol: Well, look at him: he's totally cute and all, but he lives with his mom.

    Myra: So?

    Carol: "So?" I mean, come on! It's kinda' hard to get bumpin' uglies with his mom in the room next to you, huh?

    Myra: And what's wrong with your place?

    Carol: I live with my mom.

  • Carol: ...and I'll tell you something else: except for that one *very little thing,* men... are worthless.

  • Yorish: I say that civilization is an illusion, a game of pretend. What is real is the fact that we are still animals, driven by primal instincts. As a psychiatrist, you must know this to be true.

    Carol: To be honest, ambassador, when someone starts talking to me about the truth, what I hear is what they're telling me about themselves more than what they're saying about the world.

    Dr. Henryk Belicec: Quite right, well done, doctor.

    Yorish: Perhaps this is true, perhaps being a Russian in this country is a kind of pathology. So what do you think, can you help me? Can you give me a pill? To make me see the world the way you Americans see the world. Can a pill help me understand Iraq, or Dafur, or even New Orleans?

    Dr. Henryk Belicec: Don't be drawn in by his madness, doctor. He is Russian, he needs to argue like he needs to breathe.

    Yorish: All I am saying is that civilization crumbles whenever we need it most. In the right situation, we are all capable of the most terrible crimes. To imagine a world where this was not so, where every crisis did not result in new atrocities, where every newspaper is not full of war and violence. Well, this is to imagine a world where human beings cease to be human.

    Carol: While I'll give you that we still retain some basic animal instincts, you have to admit we're not the same animal we were a few thousand years ago.

    Yorish: True.

    Carol: Read Piaget, Kohlberg or Maslow, Graves, Wilber, and you'll see that we're still evolving. Our consciousness is changing. Five hundred years ago, postmodern feminists didn't exist yet one sits right beside you today. And while that fact may not undo all of the terrible things that have been done in this world, at least it gives me reason to believe that one day, things may be different.

    Yorish: Thank you, doctor.

    Carol: You're welcome, ambassador.

    Dr. Henryk Belicec: Excellent.

  • Man: You can fool them.

    Carol: What?

    Man: Don't show emotion, then they can't tell who's who.

  • Carol: Something's happening. I don't know what it is, but I can feel it. Have you noticed anything?

    Ben: I have.

  • Carol: I thought you fell asleep.

    Oliver: I did fall asleep. I did. Last night, and this morning. Does that mean something bad?

    Carol: That means you're immune, baby. It means you're immune.

  • Dr. Galeano: Integration of alien DNA could look like anything.

    Carol: Or nothing at all.

  • Carol: No one touches my child!

  • Carol: I'm sorry but I need us to stay what we are. You're my best friend and I can't lose that.

  • Carol: I'm so afraid I'm gonna fall asleep, I'm gonna lose him, I'm gonna lose you. I'm gonna lose everything that matters.

    Ben: No. You can easily go for a week without sleep then we'll find a pharmacy, do whatever it takes to make sure you stay awake. I just want you to know, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Nothing.

  • Ben: Hey, you owe me an hour on your couch.

    Carol: An hour? Oh come on, what make you think anyone can help you in an hour?

  • [last lines]

    John: Oh, my God.

    Carol: Yes, that's right.

  • John: Get out of my office!

    [Carol doesn't leave]

    John: Get out! Get the fuck out of my office!

    Carol: I'm leaving. And don't call your wife "Baby"!

  • [first lines]

    Nancy: It's like walking on fake ground upside down, choking.

    Carol: Oh, is that what you think love feels like?

    Nancy: No. Death is like sucking pure oxygen.

    Carol: And life?

    Nancy: It's like being trapped inside the wrong house looking for a way out.

    Carol: Well, how do you know you'll be able to breathe once you die?

    Nancy: Because I'll be outside my body. I'll be floating and free.

    Carol: How do you know? How do you know it won't be worse?

    Nancy: I know it will be better than this.

    Carol: You don't know that, Nancy. What if death, as you say, *is* leaving your body, but not your mind? What if you're trapped inside your mind? What then?

    Nancy: Then I'll release it and be free.

    Carol: If you can release there, why not release it here?

  • Carol: It is possible that our thoughts create patterns or pathways in our brain and after repeated negative thoughts then those pathways become attached, addicted to those repeated stimulations and those negative thoughts are very very hard to redirect.

    Nancy: It's such a load of crap, you don't know what real pain is.

  • Carol: This has nothing to do with you. You are a beautiful woman. You are an intelligent woman.

    Nancy: No.

    Carol: Nancy, you...

    Nancy: No no no, we can't always be what we want to be, what we wish we could be. Get that?

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Characters on Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)