Carl Mace Quotes in Airheads (1994)
Carl Mace Quotes:
Carl Mace: I used to come home at night bone tired, sometimes five, six o'clock in the morning. I drop my underwear on the floor one time. Had this teensy weeny little skid mark on them. You would think I had started World War 9.
Chazz: [Carl has grabbed Kayla and is trying to humiliate Chazz in front of the entire Audience by calling him "Chester"] Hey, you stay out of this and get your hands off her!
Kayla: Why did he call you that?
Carl Mace: There's a lot that Chester didn't tell you about, right, Chester?
Rex: What's he talking about Chazz?
Chazz: Um... Kayla, I...
Chazz: It's... uh, he's... awww shit. Kayla, there's something I gotta tell ya. Um... I was a geek in high school. I had really short hair, I played "Dungeons and Dragons", I had a bug collection, I ate my Boogers. My name's not Chazz... it's Chester, and I understand if You don't love me, anymore.
D & D Rocker: I played D & D, too!
School Newspaper Rocker: I was editor of the school magazine!
Corduroy Rocker: I used to wear corduroy pants!
Masturbating Rocker: I used to masturbate... constantly!
[His two friends start hitting him]
Carl Mace: You got any kind of training?
Doug Beech: Well, I was in the Merchant Marines.
Carl Mace: Marines. Yeah, I copy.
[gets distracted for a moment]
Doug Beech: But, I was an accountant.
Carl Mace: Nah, you won't be held accountable.
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