Carl Hefler Quotes in Burglar (1987)

Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno: What'll it be?

Carl Hefler: [walking up to the bar] Package delivery.

Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno: For who?

Carl Hefler: It just says "Mayday".

Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno: Here I'll take it.

Carl Hefler: Ya gotta sign for it.

[passing a clipboard]

Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno: [signs and returns clipboard]

Carl Hefler: [reading signature] Kay-no-bee... K-noby! Is that like in Star Wars?

Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno: No idiot, it's "Knobby".

Carl Hefler: Oh! it's... so it's like a nickname.

Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno: Yes, I think maybe it's something like that.

[knocking on his bald head]

Carl Hefler: Well I'm gonna need your full name, please.

Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno: Sorry...

Carl Hefler: Come on, it's the regulations.

Vincent 'Knobby' DiCarno: Hey fuck you, okay?

Carl Hefler: Fuck you? Thank you very much! I come here to give you a fuckin' package and you decide to blow me shit?

[getting more irate]

Carl Hefler: Like-like-like-like-like-like-like you're my idea of a dream come true - takin' shit from a dildo with ears?

[shouting]

Carl Hefler: You know when I was like five I said, "Dad, Dad! Can I get a job where random fuckin' shitheads blow me crap all day?" I'm gonna break you in fuckin' half and use your head as a ballpoint!

[grabs Knobby by the shirt]

Carl Hefler: Now sign the goddamn thing!

Carl Hefler: Cause I'm a black man in a white man's world...

Det. Nyswander: Uhh, Mr. Hefler, you're caucasian...

Carl Hefler: Beautiful! Hold THAT against me too!