Cardinal Glick Quotes in Dogma (1999)

Rufus: I'm telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake.

Cardinal Glick: The Catholic Church does not make mistakes.

Rufus: Please. What about the Church's silent consent to the slave trade?

Bethany: And its platform of noninvolvement during the Holocaust?

Cardinal Glick: All right, mistakes were made.

Cardinal Glick: Fill them pews, people, that's the key. Grab the little ones as well. Hook 'em while they're young.

Rufus: Kind of like the tobacco industry?

Cardinal Glick: Christ, if only we had their numbers.

Rufus: We were sent by Him who is called I Am!

Cardinal Glick: Cute. Really cute. Now come on, kids, playtime with the Cardinal is over.

Rufus: Worked for Moses.

[first lines]

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the driving force behind Catholicism WOW, Cardinal Glick.

Cardinal Glick: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now we all know how the majority and the media in this country view the Catholic church. They think of us as a passe, archaic institution. People find the Bible obtuse... even hokey. Now in an effort to disprove all that the church has appointed this year as a time of renewal... both of faith and of style. For example, the crucifix. While it has been a time honored symbol of our faith, Holy Mother Church has decided to retire this highly recognizable, yet wholly depressing image of our Lord crucified. Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies... He came to help us out. He was a booster. And it is with that take on our Lord in mind that we've come up with a new, more inspiring sigil. So it is with great pleasure that I present you with the first of many revamps the "Catholicism WOW. " campaign will unveil over the next year. I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ...