Captain Hook Quotes in Hook (1991)
Captain Hook Quotes:
Smee: I've just had an apostrophe.
Captain Hook: I think you mean an epiphany.
Smee: [gestures his fingers to his head] Lightning has just struck my brain.
Captain Hook: Well, that must hurt.
Peter Pan: I remember you being a lot bigger.
Captain Hook: To a ten year-old I'm huge.
Captain Hook: Oh, I hate being disappointed, Smee. And I hate living in this flawed body. And I hate living in Neverland. And I hate... I hate... I *hate* Peter Pan!
Captain Hook: He'll crow. He'll fight. He'll fly. And then... he'll die.
Peter Banning: Hook, you let those kids out of that net in less than one minute or you better get an attorney and hope to God he's better than me.
Captain Hook: Who are you?
Peter Banning: I'm Peter Banning, Attorney at Law, these are my children and I want them back.
Captain Hook: These are your...
Peter Banning: Children.
Captain Hook: These are your children.
Peter Banning: Yes they are.
Captain Hook: And you are?
Peter Banning: Peter.
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes?
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: No.
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes. Is there an echo in here? Yes.
Captain Hook: My great and worthy opponent?
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: No! Smee, who is this impostor?
Captain Hook: [yells after Peter who is leaving with Jack, Maggie, and the Lost Boys] Peter! Where are you going? Come back here and fight me! Or I'll find you wherever you are, you hear me? Bad form, Peter, come back!
Maggie: You need a mother very, very badly!
Captain Hook: [over the airplane intercom] Hello Ladies and Gentlemen this is your Captain speaking...
Jack: Who is that, Captain?
Captain Hook: It's Peter Pan. Has it been three days? 'Tis true, Peter, time does fly. And so do you, I see.
Captain Hook: I have waited long to shake your hand with this. Peter Pan, prepare to meet thy doom!
Peter Banning: [draws sword] Dark and sinister man, have at thee.
Pirate: He's stealing second!
[the catcher shoots the base stealer with his pistol and the crowd cheers]
Captain Hook: No, no, no! Now stop it! We're playing this game by Master Jack's rules. Bad form! Sit down, now. Let's resume the game.
[to his lady]
Captain Hook: A very violent sport, isn't it, baseball?
Captain Hook: You, the cute little urchin in the front row, won't you share your thoughts with the whole class?
Maggie: Yes!I said mommy reads to us every night, because she LOVES us very much!
Captain Hook: Loves you? Isn't that the, uh, the...
Smee: The 'L' word, Captain.
Captain Hook: Ooh, yes!
Captain Hook: No, child, Your mother wants to read to you every night in order to stupefy to sleep, so that she and daddy could sit down for three measly minutes without you. And you mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive, and nagging demands: He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a potty! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now, now!
Captain Hook: Can't you understand, child? They tell you stories to shut you up.
Smee: -And conk you out.
Maggie: That's not true, Jack!
Maggie: You're a liar!
Captain Hook: [laughs] Lie? Me? Never.
[inhales deeply again]
Captain Hook: The TRUTH is far too much fun.
Captain Hook: What would the world be like without Captain Hook?
Peter Pan: [to the lost boys] Let's get ready to show them the white light we're made of, boys.
Captain Hook: [to the pirates] Remember the fires of hell that forged you. Charge.
[holding up a sign reading "Run Home Jack"]
Pirates: Run home, Jack! Run home, Jack!
Jack: "Run home, Jack."
Captain Hook: Smee, no, no, no! They've got it backwards! Tell them to turn it around!
[the pirates fix the sign to read "Home Run Jack." They read it]
Pirates: Home run, Jack! Home run, Jack! Home run, Jack!
Captain Hook: Gentlemen, I'm afraid I have decided to cancel the war. Kill them. Kill them all.
Captain Hook: You!
[pointing at someone in the crowd]
Captain Hook: You! That's right you! No not you! not you... you... You! You bet against me bringing Pan back here, didn't ya?
Gutless: [Intimidated] No.
Captain Hook: Ahh
Captain Hook: ... tell your captain the truth
Gutless: [Breaks down crying]
Captain Hook: Awww... say it... say it
Gutless: I did...
Captain Hook: Yes... you made a boo boo...
Gutless: I did... I did it...
Captain Hook: Mmm...
[Looks at another pirate]
Captain Hook: The boo box.
Gutless: Not that! Not the boo box!
Captain Hook: [nods] The boo box.
Captain Hook: Yes.
Captain Hook: [starts to descend the steps on his ship but stops] Where's the carpet, Smee?
Smee: Oh! Sorry, sir.
[Smee stamps his foot once and a red carpet appears on the stairs]
Peter Banning: It's okay. Hang on, son. I'm coming, sweetheart.
[begins to climb up a rope ladder]
Peter Banning: Someone give me a hand.
Captain Hook: I already have.
Captain Hook: Peter. I swear to you wherever you go, wherever you are, I vow there will always be daggers bearing notes signed James Hook. They will be flung into doors of your children's children's children, do you hear me?
Peter Pan: What do you want, old man?
Captain Hook: Just you.
Maggie: [gets up and grabs Captain Hook's hook] I wanna tear your hook off!
Captain Hook: [looks from Jack to Maggie] Easy.
Maggie: I hate... I hate you, Mr. Hook!
Captain Hook: [laughs] What did I tell you, Smee? No little children love me.
Smee: Yes, they do. Come on, you.
Smee: You're depressin' the Captain.
Maggie: Jack, you listen to me! Never let him make you forget! Never forget mommy and daddy!
Maggie: Think of a way to run home, Jack! Run home!
Jack: Run home?
Captain Hook: Jack.
[puts his hook in front of his face; Jack's eyes widen a bit]
Captain Hook: You are home.
Captain Hook: Right?
Captain Hook: [wielding his sword ready to fight Peter, after Rufio's death] Are you ready for me Peter? Come on, humor the Hook.
[Hook hangs Maggie and Jack from a net atop the mast]
Captain Hook: I'll make you a deal, Mr. Chairman-of-the-Board. Fly up there and touch the outstretched fingers of your frightened children, and I'll set them free.
Peter Banning: I can't fly!
Captain Hook: Come on, explode out of there! Stop the charade! Free you children!
Maggie, Jack: Help, daddy!
Captain Hook: [Peter whispers to Hook's ear] I beg your pardon?
Peter Banning: [inaudible whisper] I have a real problem with heights.
Captain Hook: You must be joking.
Captain Hook: Peter Pan has a real problem with heights!
[Hook and the other pirates burst out laughing]
Peter Banning: I'm not Peter Pan.
[Peter and Hook are dueling]
Peter Banning: Good form, old man.
[Hook traps Peter and grinds his hook near his face]
Captain Hook: You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. When you wake up, you'll just be Peter Banning, a cold, selfish man who drinks too much, who's obsessed with success, and runs and hides from his wife and children!
Too Small: I believe in you.
Latchboy: I believe in you.
No Nap: I believe in you, Peter.
Maggie: I believe in you.
Thud Butt: You are the Pan.
Jack: You're Peter Pan.
Tinkerbell: I believe in you... Peter Pan.
[Peter pushes Hook off and returns his sword. As Hook takes it, he slices Peter's arm with his hook]
Jack: Bad form!
Ace: Jack, stop!
Captain Hook: Finally, I'm going to kill Peter Pan, that cocky boy who cut off my hand and fed it to the crocodile!
Captain Hook: And who killed that cunning crocodile?
Captain Hook: Who stuffed him?
Captain Hook: Who made him into a quiet clock?
Captain Hook: Who went into the other world and stole Pan's children?
Captain Hook: And who didn't believe I could do it? Who doubted me? Who amongst us does not belong? Someone here does not belong, a stranger amongst the loyal. I will weed you out!
Captain Hook: I think your mother reads to you every night in order to stupefy you to sleep. So she and daddy can sit down for three measly minutes without you and your mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive and nagging demands. "He took my toy." "She hit my bear." "I want a potty." "I want a cookie." "I want to stay up." I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now... can't you understand child? They tell you stories to shut you up.
Captain Hook: She was leaving you, Pan! Your Wendy was leaving you. Why should she stay? What have you to offer? You are incomplete. Let us now take a peep into the future, shall we?
[Hook and Peter start to fight again]
Captain Hook: 'Tis the fair Wendy. She's in her nursery. The window is shut.
Peter: I'll open it.
Captain Hook: I'm afraid the window is barred.
Peter: I'll call out her name!
Captain Hook: She can't hear you...
Captain Hook: She can't see you.
Captain Hook: She's forgotten all about you.
Peter: Stop! Please! Stop it!
Captain Hook: If I were you, I'd give up!
Peter: If you were me, I'd be ugly.
[Wendy kisses Peter Pan and he starts to glow]
Captain Hook: Pan... you're pink.
Captain Hook: [Guessing who he is] Vegetable?
Captain Hook: Mineral?
Captain Hook: Animal?
Captain Hook: Man?
Captain Hook: Boy?
Captain Hook: Ordinary boy?
Captain Hook: Wonderful boy?
Peter: Yes! Do you give up?
Captain Hook: You're a tragedy!
Peter: Me? Tragic?
Wendy: Peter, I'm sorry I must grow up...
[Hook grabs her]
Wendy: [to Hook] It is just a thimble.
Captain Hook: By all means my beauty, give Peter Pan your precious thimble.
Wendy: This belongs to you and always will.
John: That was no thimble...
Michael: That was a hidden kiss.
[Hook gazes up in bewilderment at Wendy and Peter dancing among the Fairies in mid-air]
Captain Hook: Evil day...
[He turns away, and stumbles until he is sat in the undergrowth]
Captain Hook: He has found himself a... a...
[Clutches at his chest]
Tink: [Sitting on a leaf near Hook, Tinkerbell chimes something in Fairy Language]
Captain Hook: Wendy?
[Returns his gaze skyward]
Captain Hook: And Hook is all alone...
Tink: [Chimes tearfully]
Captain Hook: You too? Banished? Tsk tsk.
Captain Hook: The dog...
Captain Hook: [to Tink, who is now sat on his hook] I think you and I... should talk...
[Tink's wings perk up in interest]
Wendy: My parents wanted me to grow up.
Captain Hook: Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience... and pimples.
Smee: Pan did you a favor, did he, Captain?
Captain Hook: A favor? He threw my hand to a crocodile, the beast liked it so much, it's followed me ever since, licking its lips for the rest of me... YOU CALL THAT A FAVOR?
Captain Hook: It is your requiem mass, boy!
Captain Hook: How like a girl!
Captain Hook: So Peter Pan, this is all your doing?
Peter: Aye James Hook, it's all my doing.
Peter: Ready to lose the other one?
Captain Hook: Not this time.
Captain Hook: Split my infinitives!
Captain Hook: What of Pan? Will unhappy thoughts bring him down too?
Wendy: He has no unhappy thoughts.
Captain Hook: Oh... Well, what if his Wendy... walked the plank!
Wendy: Might I have time to consider your generous offer?
Captain Hook: Absolutely. You must!
Captain Hook: None of my crew will follow you... I swear it.
Smee: Captain, the ice is melting, the sun is out, and the flowers are all in bloom...
Captain Hook: He's back.
Captain Hook: Fly to the rescue, Pan. I'll shoot you... right through your noble intentions.
Captain Hook: [to Wendy] Didst thou ever want to be a pirate?
Captain Hook: My new obsession is you. Not dear Peter Pan or his whereabouts.
Captain Hook: [looming over a young boy threateningly with his hook] Well, well, Peter Pan!
Boy's Mother: His name's not Peter!
Captain Hook: Shut it, Wendy.
[at Skull Rock, Peter Pan has disguised his voice to sound like Captain Hook to trick Mr. Smee into returning Princess Tiger Lily to the Indians. The real Hook notices Smee rowing past him, out of Skull Rock]
Mr. Smee: Well, at last, Captain Hook's comin' to his senses.
Captain Hook: [surprised] Odd's fish!
Mr. Smee: [to Tiger Lily] I told him all along you Indians wouldn't betray Peter Pan.
Captain Hook: [sweetly] And just what do you think you are doing, Mr. Smee?
[He stops the rowboat from moving by placing his foot on it]
Mr. Smee: Just what you told me, Captain: carrying out your orders.
Captain Hook: My orders?
Mr. Smee: Why, yes, Captain. Didn't you just say to go...
Captain Hook: [shoving Smee's rowboat back into Skull Rock] Put her back, you blithering idiot!
Captain Hook: My orders. Of all the bumbling...
Captain Hook: [about to lower a bomb into Peter Pan's hideout] And now, Smee, to take care of master Peter Pan.
Mr. Smee: But, Captain, wouldn't it be more humane-like to slit his throat?
Captain Hook: Aye, that it would, Mr Smee. But I have given me word not to lay a finger, or a hook, on Peter Pan. And Captain Hook never breaks a promise.
[the pirates see Peter Pan and the Darling children coming, so they get ready to shoot them down]
Captain Hook: I've waited years for this.
Mr. Smee: That's not countin' the holidays, either.
[Wendy has walked the plank, and Peter saves her]
Mr. Starkey: No splash, Captain.
Captain Hook: So, you want a splash, Mr Starkey? I'll give you a splash!
[Hook throws Mr Starkey overboard]
Captain Hook: Who's next?
Peter Pan: You're next, Hook! This time you've gone too far!
Peter Pan: Well, well, a codfish on a hook.
Captain Hook: I'll get you for this, Pan, if it's the last thing I do!
Captain Hook: You wouldn't do ol' Hook in now, would you, lad? I'll go away forever.
Captain Hook: I'll do anything you say.
Peter Pan: Well, all right... if you... say you're a codfish.
Captain Hook: [gulps] I'm a codfish.
Peter Pan: Louder!
Captain Hook: [wailing] I'M A CODFISH!
[Captain Hook and Mr. Smee have decided to kidnap Wendy so Peter Pan would never see her again]
Captain Hook: Come, Smee, we must leave immediately. We'll surround Peter's home...
Mr. Smee: But Captain, we don't know where Peter Pan lives.
Captain Hook: Great Scott, you're right, Smee!
[Tinker Bell flies over to them and then flies over to a map of Never Land]
Captain Hook: What's that, my dear? You could show us the way? Why, I never thought of that.
Captain Hook: Take this down, Smee.
Mr. Smee: "Take this down, Smee." Aye-aye, Captain.
[Smee takes out a quill pen and a piece of paper while Tinker Bell dips her shoes in an inkwell and then lands on a part of the Never Land map marked Pegleg Point]
Captain Hook: Start at Pegleg Point...
Mr. Smee: [writing in the paper] "Start at Pegleg Point... "
[Tinker Bell walks across the map to another area marked Blindman's Bluff]
Captain Hook: Forty paces west to Blindman's Bluff...
Mr. Smee: [writing] "Blindman's Bluff... "
[Tinker Bell hops across a part of the map with a creek on it and then walks toward the northeastern end of the map]
Captain Hook: [nervously] Yes, yes. A hop, skip and a jump across Crocodile Creek and then nor' by nor'east, one, two, three...
Captain Hook: Well, get on with...
Captain Hook: Continue, my dear.
[Tinker Bell suddenly gets angry and she flies up in Hook's face, wagging her finger at him]
Captain Hook: I mustn't harm Peter? Madam, Captain Hook gives his word not to lay a finger...
[Tinker Bell hooks her finger]
Captain Hook: ... or a hook... on Peter Pan.
[Tinker Bell flies over to an area of the Never Land map marked Hangman's Tree and puts an X on it with her inked shoe heels]
Captain Hook: Ah, Hangman's Tree! So *that's* the entrance to his hiding place!
[Hook grabs Tinker Bell and locks her in a lantern]
Captain Hook: Thank you, me dear, you've been most helpful.
Mr. Smee: [outside the door where Captain Hook is sitting with a cold]
[holding a hammer]
Mr. Smee: Shhhh! The Captain has a splitting headache. We mustn't annoy him.
[looking away as Captain Hook comes out, about to attack Mr. Smee when Mr. Smee accidentally hits Captain Hook in the forehead with the hammer. Mr. Smee vibrates as Captain Hook staggers back into the room and collapses back onto the chair. Dazed. Smee walks in with a kettle of hot water. Takes a look at Captain Hook]
Mr. Smee: Well, Captain. It's nice to see you smiling again. Brings back the good old days when we was leading a healthy, normal life, scuttling ships, cutting throats.
[Puts a thermometer in Captain Hook's mouth]
Mr. Smee: Oh Captain, why don't we go to sea again?
[starts pouring the hot water into the bucket where Captain Hook's feet are]
Mr. Smee: You know, there's trouble brewing on the island. Women trouble. I wouldn't want this to go any farther, but...
[not realizing the bucket is filling with hot water]
Mr. Smee: the cook told me, that the first mate told him...
[the thermometer in Captain Hook's mouth starts to rise as Captain Hook's face turns red]
Mr. Smee: ...that he heard... that Pan has banished Tinkerbell.
[the thermometer pops at the end]
Captain Hook: WOOOOOAH!
[Jumps up off the chair out of the bucket of hot water with his feet red hot and bumps his head against the ceiling as Smee falls over]
Captain Hook: Why you doddering imbecile, I...
[pulls the kettle off of his head]
Captain Hook: Did you say Pan has banished Tinkerbell?
[the time bomb that Hook had delivered Peter had just gone off]
Captain Hook: So passes on a worthy opponent.
Mr. Smee: Amen.
Mr. Smee: Oh, dear, dear, dear, Captain Hook. Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza? That ain't good form, you know.
Captain Hook: "Good form," Mr. Smee?
Captain Hook: Blast good form!
[waves his hook in front of Smee]
Captain Hook: Did Pan show good form when he did *this* to me?
Mr. Smee: Why, Captain, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank, you might say.
Captain Hook: Aye, but throwing it to that crocodile! That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well he's followed me ever since, licking his chops for the rest of me.
Mr. Smee: And he would've had you by now, Captain, if he hadn't swallowed that alarm clock. But now, when he's about, he'd warn you, as you might say, with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
Captain Hook: Fly! Fly! Fly! You coward!
Peter Pan: Coward! Me?
Captain Hook: Ha-ha-ha! You wouldn't dare fight old Hook man-to-man. You'd fly away like a cowardly sparrow!
Peter Pan: Nobody calls Pan a coward and lives! I'll fight you man-to-man, with one hand behind my back.
Captain Hook: You mean you won't fly?
Wendy: No, don't, Peter! It's a trick!
Peter Pan: I give my word, Hook.
Captain Hook: Good, then let's have at it!
Peter Pan: [as he and Capt. Hook hear the sound of Tick-Tock] I say, Captain, do you hear something?
Captain Hook: [trembles in fear] No.
[ticking getting closer]
Captain Hook: No!
[Tick-Tock comes up from the water and bites Hook]
Captain Hook: Nooo!
Captain Hook: A jealous female can be tricked into anything.
[Mr. Smee has captured a brooding Tinker Bell and taken her to Captain Hook, who is playing the piano, while Smee is drinking]
Captain Hook: Yes, Miss Bell, Captain Hook admits defeat. Tomorrow, I leave the island, never to return.
Mr. Smee: I'm glad to hear that, Captain.
Mr. Smee: I'll tell the crew and...
[he hiccups again and tries to leave, but Hook trips him up and he falls down]
Captain Hook: [to Tinker Bell] And that's why I asked you over, me dear, to tell Peter I bear him no ill will. Oh, Pan has his faults, to be sure. Bringing that Wendy to the island, for instance. Dangerous business, that. Why, rumor has it that already she has come between you and Peter.
[he notices that Tinker Bell is on the verge of tears]
Captain Hook: But what's this? Tears? Then it *is* true.
Captain Hook: Oh, Smee, the way of a man with a maid: taking the best years of her life and then casting her aside like an old glove!
Mr. Smee: [crying] Ain't it a bloomin'...
Mr. Smee: ... shame?
Captain Hook: [handing a handkerchief to Tinker Bell] But we musn't judge Peter too harshly, my dear. It's that Wendy who's to blame.
[Tinker Ball nods in agreement; Hook then turns to Smee]
Captain Hook: Mr. Smee, we must save the lad from himself. But how?
[Smee just cries]
Captain Hook: We've so little time; we sail in the morning. Sail? That's it, Smee!
[he slaps Smee on the back and Smee falls down again]
Captain Hook: We'll shanghai Wendy!
Mr. Smee: Shanghai Wendy, Captain?
Captain Hook: Take her to sea with us. With her gone, Peter will soon forget this mad infatuation.
Captain Hook: Blast that Peter Pan! If I could only find his hideout, I'd trap him in his lair. But where is it?
[He examines a map of Neverland]
Captain Hook: Mermaid Lagoon? No, we've search that. And we've combed Cannibal Cove.
[He then lands his hook on an area of the map marked Indian Camp]
Captain Hook: Here! No. No, no, no, that's Indian territ... But wait. Those redskins know this island better than I do me own ship. Ah, I wonder.
Mr. Smee: [walking up] Good morning, Captain.
Captain Hook: [grabbing Smee] I've got it! Tiger Lily, Smee!
Mr. Smee: [nervously] T-T-Tiger Lily, Captain?
Captain Hook: The chief's daughter. She'll know where Pan is hiding.
Mr. Smee: B-B-But-But will she talk, Captain?
Captain Hook: Oh, a little persuasion might be in order. Now let me see... Boiling in oil? Uh, keelhauling? Eh, marooning?
Captain Hook: [catching Mr. Smee leaving his cabin] And where do you think you are going?
Mr. Smee: To tell the boys we sails with the tide, sir.
Captain Hook: You will go ashore, pick up Tinker Bell, and bring her to me.
Captain Hook: UNDERSTAND?
Mr. Smee: [saluting Hook] Aye-aye sir!
[Mr. Smee charges through the wall, lands in a boat, goes flying overboard and rows to the shore very fast]
Jane: You promised no one would get hurt. You gave your word.
Captain Hook: And Captain Hook always keeps his word. I promised I would not harm a hair on Peter Pan's head.
[Plucks a hair from Peter's head]
Captain Hook: And this is the one I won't harm. Here, you keep it.
[Gives it to Jane]
Captain Hook: The rest of him is mine.
[the Jolly Roger is sinking with Captain Hook still on board]
Captain Hook: Help me! Help me!
Peter Pan: You know the rules, Hook. A good captain always goes down with his ship.
Captain Hook: I don't want to be a good captain!
Smee & Pirates: Oh, goodness. Haven't we searched the island a thousand times before?
Captain Hook: What was that, Mr. Smee?
Smee & Pirates: I... I mean, hunting for Pan is, uh... fun galore.
Captain Hook: I tell you, Smee, this is driving me to delirium. I detest cephalopods!
Jane: Not so fast, you old codfish! Or you'll have to answer to me!
Peter Pan: Jane...?
Captain Hook: Good heavens! Run! Run for your lives! It's... A little girl.
Captain Hook: Mr. Smee, who is the most brazen, bold and brilliant buccaneer who ever sailed the briny blue?
Smee & Pirates: Um, Blackbeard?
[Hook sighs in exasperation and clunks him on the head]
Captain Hook: [Janes sees Captain Hook's shadow out the window, she goes to investigate and finds nothing, she then turns around and comes face to face with Hook and his crew who have entered her bedroom] Hello Wendy!
[throws a gag over her mouth while another pirate ties her hands together]
Smee & Pirates: My apologies miss!
[throws a sack over her]
Captain Hook: [in intertitles] Peter Pan, who and what art thou?
Peter Pan: [in intertitles] I'm youth, I'm joy! I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg!
Captain Hook: I've been working on this case for nine years.
Detective Dempsey: Any clues?
Browse more character quotes from Hook (1991)
You may also like:
Characters on Hook (1991)
- Granny Wendy
- Peter Banning
- Captain James Hook
- Moira Banning
- Lost Boys
- Lost Boy
- Thud Butt
- Wendy Darling
- Young Peter Pan
- Peter Pan
- Pockets, Lost Boy
- Boy playing Peter Pan
- No Nap
- Too Small
- Shoe-Stealing Pirate
- Garbage Sweeper in Kensington Gardens
- Little League Player
- Inspector Good