Captain Cutshaw Quotes in The Ninth Configuration (1980)

Colonel Kane: You're convinced that God is dead because there's evil in the world.

Captain Cutshaw: Correct.

Colonel Kane: Then why don't you think He's alive because of the goodness in the world?

Captain Cutshaw: I think the end of the world just came for that bag of Fritos I had in my pants pocket.

Captain Cutshaw: I tried, sir. See the stars? So cold, so far, and so very lonely. Oh, so lonely. All that space... just... empty space. And so far from home. I've circled round and round this house, orbit after orbit. Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like never to stop, and circle alone up there forever. And what if I got there - got to the moon - and couldn't get back? Sure, everyone dies, but I'm afraid to die ALONE, so far from home. And if there's no God, then that's really, REALLY alone.

Captain Cutshaw: I don't belong to the God Is Alive And Hiding In Argentina club, but I believe in the devil, all right. You know why? Because the prick keeps doing commercials!

[Captain Cutshaw stomps in wearing scuba flippers]

Captain Cutshaw: Take me to the beach.

Colonel Kane: It's night, and it's raining.

Captain Cutshaw: I see you're determined to start an argument.

[Captain Cutshaw stands up, interrupting church services]

Captain Cutshaw: Infinite goodness is creating a being you know, in advance, is going to complain.

Captain Cutshaw: I know my rights, I demand to see my urologist.

Captain Cutshaw: You're so dumb you're adorable.

Captain Cutshaw: Show me a Catholic, and I'll show you a junkie.

Captain Cutshaw: The man in the moon tried to fuck my sister!

Captain Cutshaw: If God existed, he's a fake. Or, more likely, a foot. A giant, all-powerful, all-knowing *foot!*

Captain Cutshaw: Can you prove there's a foot?

Colonel Kane: There are some arguments from reason.

Captain Cutshaw: Are those the things we use to justify dropping atomic bombs on Japan?