Captain Bipto Quotes in Spaced Invaders (1990)

Captain Bipto: We did win, didn't we?

Blaznee: No, but if we think fast enough we might just live to lie about it.

[trying to explain to Captain Bipto that their invasion has failed]

Giggywig: Let me sum up the entire situation in a nutshell: there are five of us, and four billion of them. They have Strategic Air Command, nuclear powered submarines, and John Wayne. We have this.

[holds up a small rifle]

Captain Bipto: Is it loaded?

[points the rifle at Bipto]

Giggywig: Let's find out!

Captain Bipto: What's the problem? Just vaporise; everyone, everything, boof, mission accomplished, medals, awards, a parade, next!

Giggywig: No! Wrong! False! None of the above! Why: because we're not supposed to be here!

Captain Bipto: What?

Giggywig: We goofed, we erred, we misinterpreted the data at hand!

Blaznee: Told ya so.

Captain Bipto: Meet us at the Wrenchmuller farm. Bipto out.

Blaznee: Hey, where do you guys grow your wrenchmullers?

Blaznee: [singing] Oh give me a home / Where the asteroids roam

Blaznee, Captain Bipto, Dr. Ziplock: And the gleebs and the buzzy mugs play / Where gravity's low / And the water is snow / And the desert winds blow you away / Mars, Mars is my home / Where everyone's short just like me / I wish I was where / There is not so much air / And two moons to shine down upon me.

Captain Bipto: What do you make of it, Doctor?

Dr. Ziplock: Well, it's long, flat, and has yellow lines on it; that can only mean one thing ...

Giggywig: A minefield!

Dr. Ziplock: I was going to say, "a country road."

Giggywig: That's what they want us to think. Let me tell you something: one false move and kaboom! You'll be going home in several more pieces than you arrived.