Capt. Thaddeus Harris Quotes in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Citizens On Patrol. What a joke. You know what C.O.P. really stands for Proctor?

Proctor: No sir what?

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Collection Of Pissants.

[Proctor laughs]

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: That's not funny Proctor.

Proctor: No sir.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor, this is an alley.

Proctor: I know sir but these are the directions Mahoney gave me.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Mahoney?

Proctor: Yes he says this restaurant has the best salad bar in town.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Well it damn sure better have!

[they go inside]

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor, I don't see a salad bar.

Proctor: [sees the name of the restaurant, "The Blue Oyster"] Look sir. Maybe they serve seafood.

[laughs]

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Not funny you idiot!

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Some dickhead is standing in my sun!

Sgt. Nick Lassard: Oh, Captain Harris! Hey, I didn't see you there. You know, I don't think we've been introduced. My name is Nick...

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: I don't care who you are, buttwipe. Just get out of my sun!

Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe?

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Scram, sleazeball!

Sgt. Nick Lassard: Okay, fine.

[Leaves]

Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe, huh? Never heard that before.

Lt. Proctor: That was great, Sir!

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor?

Lt. Proctor: Yes, Sir?

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Now you're in my sun.

Sgt. Moses Hightower: Sir, I realize this is your jurisdiction. But if there is a rescue attempt, we would like to volunteer.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Commissioner Murdock, I couldn't agree more. I think it is vital that the rescues know Commandant Lassard intimately. Now, I can vouch for the abilities of these officers. After all, I trained them myself.

Sgt. Larvell Jones: Must be the drugs.

[Captain Harris, with the word Dork burned into his chest, approaches a bar where Cmndt. Lassard, Chief Hurst, Chief Murdock, and the Mayor of Miami are seated]

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Oh Mr. Mayor, excuse me sir. I don't mean to insult your city, but the people on this beach are very rude and hostile.

Mayor of Miami: Well, I'm sorry to hear that... Captain Dork!

[the gentlemen at the bar break down in laughter, and Harris finally realizes what has been burned on to his chest]

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor! Where is Proctor?

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: You'll never get away with this, you two-bit filthy scum!

Tony: What did he call me?

Mouse: Scum.

Tony: Ah. Well, perhaps you'd like to leave now.

[snaps fingers]

Tony: Mouse?

[Mouse cocks his pistol]

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: [laughs weakly] About that "filthy scum" comment...

Tony: Shut up, shark bait.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: "Shark bait"?