Capt. Benjamin Tyreen Quotes in Major Dundee (1965)

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: [addressing his troops] We will serve under Major Dundee's command. And until that time, any disrespect you show the Major will be taken as a personal insult by *me*.

Jimmy Lee Benteen: Don't you worry none, Uncle Ben, when the time comes, we'll turpentine that cauky, chicken-pickin' Yankee...

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: [completely deadpan] I am *not* your uncle, you redneck peckerwood. And if you say one more word, you'll spend the rest of this campaign in *chains*.

Jimmy Lee Benteen: [the command encounters a patrol of Confederate cavalry at a river crossing] Which way, Captain?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: To Mexico, you bloody idiot!

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: [trying to restrain his men] I said will shall serve under this command and we will serve! But only until the Apache is destroyed. And then, Amos - and then, I'm going to kill you!

Maj. Amos Dundee: Are you, Ben?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Yes. Yes, Amos.

O.W. Hadley: [Hadley is to be executed for desertion] You gonna let them shoot me, sir?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: I'm obliged to, son. You should've remembered you belong to the Major, and not to me.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: You're getting leave, Major. And it's time you did. And in fact you'd ought to give up soldiering altogether. You were trapped at the river, ambushed like a shavetail! You caused that boy's death, you split your command. And just what are you doing outside your picket line? Are you trying to seek refuge in the arms of a woman - a woman, I might add, of rather doubtful virtue? Just what in the bloody hell are you doing here in the first place, Amos?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: I came here to rescue you. We've spent all night looking for you.

Maj. Amos Dundee: Why?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: So I can kill you myself.

Maj. Amos Dundee: [shrugs] Makes sense.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: [the command comes across a troop of French cavalry] Congratulations, Major. It seems like you've found yourself a real war after all.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Well, Major, I'll see you in Texas!

Maj. Amos Dundee: You're damn right you will!

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: [to Dundee] You are a $70, red-wool, pure-quill military genius, or the biggest damn fool in northern Mexico.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: [to Dundee] Now, I have orders to take you out of here in a way that befits your character - out the back door!

[punches Dundee]

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Now Major, or across the river in Texas?

Maj. Amos Dundee: Here's just fine, Ben.

Samuel Potts: [surveying the French army from a high rock] You boys want a fight? I've got one for you! Come up here and look!

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: [as Graham's artillery fires during the rescue of Dundee] Aha! Lieutenant Graham will be a General before he's thirty!

Maj. Amos Dundee: For God's sakes, Ben - leave me be!

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Why not, Amos? You aren't worth killing anyhow.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: I've already been three men, Amos. That's enough for one lifetime.

Maj. Amos Dundee: Irish immigrant...

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Cashiered Army officer.

Maj. Amos Dundee: ...and Confederate renegade. And I don't like any of them.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Well, now isn't that a coincidence?

Maj. Amos Dundee: You surveyed this whole area with Grant in '47, didn't you?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Yes, the tequila was excellent.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: You were whipped, Major. Burying your dead isn't going to change that.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: I'll need five men, mounted. We'll attack their flank after you break their charge.

Maj. Amos Dundee: Bully!

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Bully...

Tim Ryan: [as he's being operated on] DAMN IT TO BLOODY CONFEDERATE HELL!

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: WHAT?

Tim Ryan: Sorry.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: He's alright, Reverend. He'll live forever and have a hundred children. But if you find that you have a weakness for being shot in that vicinity, I suggest you wear an iron plate in your pants.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Mr. Aesop, I am... we would like to complement you and your men on the way you handled the river crossing this afternoon.

Aesop: Thank you, sir.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: You don't have the temprament to be a liberator, Amos.

Maj. Amos Dundee: [Tyreen and his men are caught after trying to escape] Evening, Ben.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Good evening, Amos.

Maj. Amos Dundee: You should've tried it *before* I took command.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Command of what? The burial detail?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: How many men do you need?

Maj. Amos Dundee: Twenty. Good ones.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Until the Apache is taken or destroyed - only that?

Maj. Amos Dundee: Agreed.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: If it's... too rich for you... hang us now, and be done with it.

Maj. Amos Dundee: I might just hang you and that Injun from the same tree, Ben.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: You'll play hell getting it done, Amos!

Maj. Amos Dundee: Captain Tyreen, is the prospect of your serving under your country's flag once again more appealing than continuing to drag its chains in this prison?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: It is *not* my country, Major Dundee. I damn its flag, and I damn you. And I would rather *hang* than serve!

[the Confederate prisoners begin whistling "Dixie" and rattling their chains, creating a loud racket]

Sgt. Gomez: [to Dundee] Corporal Veitch just died, sir.

Maj. Amos Dundee: [shouts] Then hang you shall!

[noise dies down]

Maj. Amos Dundee: You're going to stand trial for a charge of murder, Ben. You and your four good friends. That guard you clubbed just died.

Arthur Hadley: [Tyreen and his escaped men are brought back into the fort as Dundee orders the garrison to assemble] They're gonna throw us a party, Captain.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: It sure looks like it.

Maj. Amos Dundee: Why don't you get two of your best men to help Sergeant Gomez take those children back to Fort Benlin?

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: [chuckles slightly] We'll still outnumber you, Amos!

Maj. Amos Dundee: You surely will, Ben. Now go do as you're told.

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Yes, sir.

[brief pause]

Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: But only until the Apache is taken or destroyed.