Camembert Quotes in Carry On... Don't Lose Your Head (1966)

The Black Fingernail: [taunting] Yooh whoo. It's me.

Camembert: Tis he. After he.

Bidet: After who?

Camembert: After him.

Bidet: After you.

[the Black Fingernail has rescued a French aristocrat, the Duc de Pommfrit, from the guillotine and left his calling card there]

Citizen Robespierre: So, Citizen Head of Secret Police Camembert, the one who calls himself "The Black Fingernail" has fooled you again.

Camembert: Oh, I wouldn't say that, citizen.

Citizen Robespierre: Oh, you wouldn't?

Camembert: No.

Citizen Robespierre: [Waves paper with Black Fingernail's sign on it] This is his calling card. It was found on the guillotine after that disgraceful exhibition this afternoon.

Camembert: Yes, that's true, but he didn't fool me. Oh no, not for one moment.

Citizen Robespierre: [Sarcastically] He didn't? Oh, perhaps I've got the story wrong. This time he posed as an insurance salesman, correct?

Camembert: Yes.

Citizen Robespierre: Abducted the Duc de Pommfrit from under your very nose?

Camembert: Yes.

Citizen Robespierre: And tricked you into executing your own executioner?

Camembert: Yes.

Citizen Robespierre: [shouting] And he didn't fool you for one minute?

Camembert: I knew who he was. I wanted to see how far he would go.

Citizen Robespierre: Mon blooming dieu. He couldn't have gone very much further could he?

Camembert: Oh, I don't know. We've still got the guillotine!

Desiree Dubarry: [Drinks Champagne and belches loudly]

Camembert: Ooh! Charming!

Desiree Dubarry: Well I can't 'elp it. It's the bubbles; they get lodged in me chest.

Camembert: Yes. There's room for a few lodgers in there.

Citizen Robespierre: Have either of you ever seen a man looking like that?

Camembert: Well, it's marvelous what you can do with a bit of padding. If I could just have a bit of a prod...

Citizen Robespierre: No you cannot have a bit of a prod! Imbecile! Admit it. This Fingernail has made a monkey of you, yet again.

Camembert: I'm Camembert! I'm the big cheese!

Camembert: Remember you must be circumspect.

Bidet: Oh, I was Sir. When I was a baby.