Calico Quotes in Cats & Dogs (2001)

Mr. Tinkles: I want you to stay here.

Calico: Why?

Mr. Tinkles: Because I hate you.

Mr. Tinkles: You!

Calico: Aah!

Mr. Tinkles: Tell me... Is the game afoot?

Calico: Uhhh... yes?

Mr. Tinkles: WHY IS THE GAME AFOOT?

Calico: Uhh... I... I mean no...

Mr. Tinkles: Ah, excellent. So the puppy is dead. Now, we can move on to...

Calico: Wait, wait... Can i change my answer?

Mr. Tinkles: [exasperated] Is the puppy alive or not?

Mr. Tinkles: The ninjas failed, and failure is unacceptable! If they ever show their faces again, you know what to do.

Calico: Yes. Tell them to wash with a loofah sponge. Kidding! Hello? Joke!

Mr. Tinkles: This can't be happening. I want them eliminated!

Calico: But they did manage to bug the phone. I think we should just concentrate on the glasses half full.

[Mr. Tinkles growls and throws the roll at Calico]

Calico: Ow! That's what I want to do.

Mr. Tinkles: Oh, putting a happy face on. What an interesting philosophy. At what point did you forget WE'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?

[Whilst driving like an imbecile]

Calico: [shouting] Get out of the road you lunatic!

Mr. Tinkles: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow. How many dogs does it take to over throw mankind? Just one stupid puppy.

Lou: Where is my family?

Mr. Tinkles: Oh they're alive, for now, but it won't matter, you see I've-

[the limousine swerves all over the road Mr Tinkles hits the left side of the limousine]

Mr. Tinkles: Oh my. This isn't NASCAR you idiot.

[Clears throat]

Mr. Tinkles: I have seized the formula, and in mere hours I will I'll reverse it, giving me the power to make all humans allergic to dogs.

Butch: What?

[the limousine swerves again]

Mr. Tinkles: How am supposed to gloat gleefully when you're driving like a chimpanzee? I mean really?

[Clears throat]

Mr. Tinkles: Now I will make all of humanity violently allergic to your regit kind, and with you all hated and despised by those you protect, you will be cast out, leaving me to lead all of cat kind in the glorious revolution to conquer the world!

[laughs evilly]

Lou: What will we do?

Butch: "We"? You just handed the world back to the cats and doomed the human race forever. There is nothing left to do.

Ivy, the Female Alley Dog: You always give up to easy Butch.

Butch: Is that what I think it is?

Lou: What Butch?

Ivy, the Female Alley Dog: Yep, it's the cat tracker 2000.

Mr. Tinkles: [the Scene changes The limousine is driving back to the factory with the professor's Formula] Those fleabags must be running for the hills.

[Chuckles]

Calico: Yeah I- yeah that's what I was thinking.

Sophie the Maid: [Sophie is washing Mr Tinkles. She finishes and puts him on the bath room flour, then leaves] I forgot your bow! You're pretty bow!

Mr. Tinkles: [after she has closed the door] When I rule the earth. You will be the first, on my list.

Calico: [Coming from behind the toilet] Hey, you should keep your hair like that. It's very slimming!

Mr. Tinkles: There's plenty of room on that list for you.

Calico: [coming out towards Mr Tinkles] No, I mean it.

Mr. Tinkles: What? We only have a few days to succeed. And although playing pet for that sick old man upstairs is key to my ingenious scheme. I can not take this humiliation, any longer am I clear?

Calico: Erm...

Mr. Tinkles: Nevermind... The puppy won't survive the night. Send in the ninjas.

Calico: [the limousine is recklessly driving to the factory gate] Brakes! gas! Break!

[the limousine stops at the gate]

Cat: Are we going to get away with this?

Mr. Tinkles: [speaking like Mr Mason] Watch me.

[the passenger window where Mr Tinkles is rolls down. The guard stands back in shock seeing Mr mason is there]

Guard at Factory Gate: Uhh, Mr Mason. What a surprise sir.

Mr. Tinkles: [still talking like Mr Mason] Good morning, human guard. Let us in... that is all.

[the windows closes]

Guard at Factory Gate: Uhh uhh... of course sir.

Calico: Gas it up down there and step on it. Get off the breaks people!

[the limousine speeds into the factory grounds]

Calico: Okay, Okay! Look I don't know where Kitty is but, I can tell you this, for months now Kitty has been stealing technology from like NASA, or the pentagon, oh you should of seen what she got from Mr windows. Now I'm just the middle cat, I take the porridge, give them to Pigeon carriers and they fly them to a secret location.

Butch: which is where?

Calico: How should I know it's a secret!

Catherine: Hmm, Sounds like she's building something.

Butch: But what?

Catherine: Ahh, who could understand the mind of a crazy old cat?

Calico: I know!

Diggs: Wait what? You know what she's building?

Calico: No, I know a crazy old cat. haha!

Calico: You guys aren't mad, are you?

Catherine: Where's Kitty? Start talking now, or these dogs are gonna into you like a bag of Snausages.

Mr. Tinkles: Greetings, my furry friends! It is I, Tinkles! Free! Scot-free! Meow, meow. Did you really think the Rock could hold me forever? I am definitely not an indoor cat!

[steel drums are heard]

Mr. Tinkles: HEY! Ringo! Enough with the steel drums here! I'm trying to talk, c'mon!

Calico: Hey boss! I'm riffin'! Heh-heh-heh!

Johnny Mansell: Just... play the game with Dave.

Calico: Why shouldn't I?

Johnny Mansell: You know how it is. Some women are mercenary.

Calico: So are some men. He can look after himself.

Johnny Mansell: He's blinded by you, Calico. He's not your style. He can't give you the life you're hungry for.

Calico: Can you?

Johnny Mansell: I've no diamond watches up *my* sleeve.

Calico: You can say what you like to me but you can't change me, and you can't hurt me. I've no pride where you're concerned and I don't give up easily. Remember, I come from a slum. From the gutter where it's quite a step up even to the pavement. I never had a home. I never had a father my mother could put a name to. I never had a thing. Until one day I found that I was attractive to the opposite sex. I discovered my legs weren't made just to stand on. I had one talent. Most people haven't got any. So I used that talent, and I got tough. I never loved anyone until you came along. I was never unfaithful to anyone in my life. Because I never had anyone to be unfaithful to.