Caleb Peterson Quotes in Eating Out (2004)

Caleb Peterson: What if he tries to grab me?

Kyle: We're not pirates. We just dress like them... and chase bootie. He'll be just as nervous as you, so try not to punch him if he makes a move on you or anything...

Caleb Peterson: You know, I don't think I'd punch him. I think I'd probably just start crying or something.

Caleb Peterson: I think you turned me gay.

Tiffani: I did not "turn you gay!" How could you say that?

Caleb Peterson: I mean, don't take it personally.

Tiffani: I am a person! How else am I supposed to take it?

Caleb Peterson: Do I look gay?

Kyle: Hmm... Like an insatiable bottom.

Caleb Peterson: Man, now I really wanna be a fag.

Kyle: You and Ricky Martin both.

Kyle: You stole my boyfriend!

Caleb Peterson: He's not your boyfriend.

Kyle: Oh, so now you're gay?

Caleb Peterson: This was your idea.

Kyle: You knew how I felt about him!

Caleb Peterson: We're not doing anything.

Kyle: You're going on a date!

Caleb Peterson: That was HIS idea!

Kyle: I've been stalking him for years; you decided to be gay for one night.

Caleb Peterson: I'm not gay! Why don't you just tell him you like him?

Kyle: That would be as futile as drug testing at the Gay Games.

Marc: [entering the bathroom] We need to talk.

Caleb Peterson: [in mid-pee] D-dude!

Marc: I wasn't being honest. Now, I got to talk about it now or...

Caleb Peterson: I'm taking a leak.

Marc: Hmm, please, I've seen it.

Marc: [addressing the dick] How ya doin'?

[Tiffani stands in the doorway]

Tiffani: I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.

Kyle: That's Mister Miss Thing to you.

Caleb Peterson: Tiffani?

Tiffani: You little hose huffer!

Frank Peterson: Why don't you come join us?

Tiffani: Gomez, Morticia, and little Wednesday.

Caleb Peterson: This isn't a kegger, bro. This is, like, serious. Who'd you invite?

Kyle: Like they said to Anne Frank, why don't you answer the door and find out?

Kyle: Being gay is more than... listening to good music and eating low-fat foods. There are certain things you have to do to convince the general public.

Caleb Peterson: Oh. We could stage a bashing.

Caleb Peterson: I waited twenty-four days to have sex with you.

Tiffani: Well, I didn't want to seem like a slut!

[Caleb and Marc return to Marc's darkened, vacated apartment]

Caleb Peterson: [calling out] Gwen!

Marc: Oh, trust me. If she were here, she'd be all up in our pubes.