Cal Meecham Quotes in Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996)

Cal Meecham: [after German scientist comments on Mozart at dinner] What do you think of Mr. Mozart, Exeter?

Exeter: I'm afraid I don't know the chap.

Tom Servo: "I'm not an alien!"

Exeter: My mind must have been wandering. Your composer, of course.

Cal Meecham: *Our* composer - he belongs to the world!

Exeter: Yes, indeed.

Mike: "I'm not an alien."

Cal Meecham: That dinner, Exeter, was even more perfect than you promised. Now if you'll excuse me, I could do with some fresh air myself.

Crow T. Robot: He's gonna get high!

Cal Meecham: Would you care to join me, Dr. Adams?

Tom Servo: "Uh, no!"

Cal Meecham: You, Dr. Carlson?

Mike: "Your turn to walk the Cal."

Exeter: Why don't you? Show him the grounds.

Crow T. Robot: "I dare ya!"

Exeter: We won't start cracking the whip on Meecham until tomorrow.

Tom Servo: "Then I ram my ovipositor down your throat, and lay my eggs in your chest! But I'm *not* an alien!"

Cal Meecham: Check rate of radioactive decay.

Crow T. Robot: Increase the Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around!

Cal Meecham: [Struggling with the controls of his jet] I have no control...

Mike: I keep eating and eating.

[Cal and Joe are looking in an interositer catalog]

Joe Wilson: Here's something my wife could use in the house...

Crow T. Robot: A man?

Joe Wilson: ...an interositer incorporating an electron sorter.

Cal Meecham: She'll probably gain twenty pounds while it does all the work for her.

Tom Servo: Cal, you bitch!

Exeter: Into the converter tubes. Ruth, you take the first tube. Cal, you take the second.

Cal Meecham: What about you?

Exeter: I'll take the third tube.

Tom Servo: [as Cal] Oh, right. Stupid question.

Joe Wilson: You're too darned smart.

Tom Servo: And handsome!

Cal Meecham: I may just be the dumbest man who ever lived.

Mike: No argument here.

Cal Meecham: [reading from the iterociter handbook] Iterociter incorporating planetary generator. Iterociter with voltarator. With astroscope.

Mike Nelson: [as Cal turns the book sideways] Saaaay, Miss Interociter!

Joe: Cal! Pull up!

Cal Meecham: I can't. I'm too low.

Tom Servo: I got the blues, so bad, uh huh.