Cady Quotes in Government Agents vs Phantom Legion (1951)
Cady: Say... somebody put whitewash in your radiator, then opened the pep cock... probably figured to trail you here.
Regan: Watch that door - I'll put a gag on the girl...
Cady: [narrating] Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.
Cady: Oh, god.
Janis: You dirty little liar!
Cady: I'm sorry, I can explain.
Janis: Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?
Damian: Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
Cady: You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic.
Janis: Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.
Damian: Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10.
Janis: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?
Cady: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge!
Janis: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! You try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!"
Cady: You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!
Damian: Oh, no, she did not!
Janis: See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.
[Damian drives away with Janis, yelling out the window]
Damian: And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!
Regina: Why don't I know you?
Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
Cady: I used to be home-schooled.
Regina: Wait... what?
Cady: My mom taught me at home...
Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not retarded! So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!
Cady: I didn't say anything.
Mrs. George: [serving the Plastics fruit drinks] Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.
[Mr. Duvall is introducing Cady to the class]
Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.
Damian: [delivering candy canes] Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?
Cady: It's Cady.
Damian: Oh Cady, here you go, one for you... And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.
Gretchen: Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!
Cady: [voiceover] Gretchen Wieners had cracked.
Damian: [reading Cady's class schedule] Health, Spanish... you're taking 12th Grade Calculus?
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Eww. Why?
Cady: Because it's the same in every country.
Damian: That's beautiful.
Damian: This girl is deep.
Regina: I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.
Karen: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?
Regina: I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you're so stupid!
[Regina leaves, Gretchen follows]
Gretchen: Wait, Regina! Talk to me!
Regina: No one understands me...
Gretchen: I understand you!
[Regina & Gretchen's voices fade out]
Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!
Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
Cady: No no no... Anything else?
Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.
Chip Heron: Hey, how was school?
Betsy Heron: Were people nice?
Chip Heron: Did you make any friends?
Karen: Why are you dressed so scary?
Cady: It's Halloween.
Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.
Regina: Is butter a carb?
Cady: [Rudely] YES.
Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
Gretchen: You can't sit with us!
Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.
Regina: [after being ignored] Fine! You can walk home, bitches.
Cady: And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.
Janis: What does it say about me?
Cady: [lying, because the book describes Janis as a dyke] You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches!
Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Cady: Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good... SLUT!
Gretchen: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak is a grotsky, little byotch.
Regina: Still true.
Gretchen: Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.
Regina: Still half-true.
Karen: Amber D'Alessio . She made out with a hot dog.
Gretchen: Janis Ian-DYKE.
Karen: [pointing to Damien in background of picture] Hey, who is that?
Gretchen: I think it's that kid, Damien.
Cady: Yeah, he's almost too gay to function.
[Karen & Gretchen chuckle]
Regina: That's funny, put that in there.
Regina: Cady, do you even know who sings this?
Cady: Um... the Spice Girls?
Regina: I love her. She's like a Martian!
Cady: [after humiliating Regina] Wait Regina, I didn't mean for this to happen!
Regina: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
Cady: Wait Regina, just listen!
Regina: No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak, that's a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c...
[Regina gets hit by a bus]
Cady: [voiceover] Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
Joan the Secretary: And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'! Regina George...
Joan the Secretary: Gretchen Weiners.
[class applauds and Gretchen responds breathlessly]
Joan the Secretary: Janis Ian.
Regina: [confused] What is happening to the world?
[Janis shoves Damien]
Damian: I couldn't help myself!
Joan the Secretary: And finally, Cady Heron!
Cady: Damien? You put me in there, too? That's not part of the plan!
Damian: I didn't put you in there...
Cady: [surprised] You mean I'm really nominated?
Cady: Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.
Cady: [voiceover] I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.
Janis: Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You're a regulation hottie.
Damian: Own it.
Janis: What is that smell?
Cady: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute.
[Janis sprays deodorant at Cady]
Cady: Regina seems... sweet!
Janis: Regina George is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!
Cady: [voiceover] Ms. Norbury had us write out apologies to people we'd hurt in our lifes.
Michigan Girl: Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.
Cady: [voiceover] Finally, Girl World was at peace.
Damian: Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
Cady: [voiceover] And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it.
[Imagines Junior Plastics being hit by a bus]
Cady: [voiceover] Just kidding.
Cady: [voiceover] The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me.
Regina: [to Cady] Okay... you have really good eyebrows.
Regina: [pushing Gretchen] Move.
Cady: [voiceover] Same with Gretchen: the meaner Regina was to her, the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. She knew it was better to be in the plastics, hating life, than to not be in at all. Because being with the plastics was like being famous... people looked at you all the time and everybody just knew stuff about you.
Girl: That knew girl moved here from Africa.
Girl: I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.
Boy: That Cady girl is hot... she might even be hotter than Regina George.
Mr. Duvall: I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. The 2 were seen canoodling at Chris Isen's halloween party... they've been inseparable ever since.
Regina George: 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?
Gretchen: Uh, 48 into 120?
Regina George: I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat.
Cady: It's 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of X.
Regina George: Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.
Gretchen: [in her English class essay, after being humiliated by Regina] Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just *stab* Caesar!
Cady: [Voiceover] Gretchen Wieners had cracked.
Damian: Oh, my God! I love this song!
Janis: I hate this song.
Cady: I *know* this song!
Jason: Is your muffin buttered?
Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady: My what?
Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeeze?
Jason: I'm just being friendly.
Gretchen: [whispers] You were supposed to call me last night!
Regina: Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?
Cady: No, thank you.
Regina: Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.
Jason: [whispers] Bitch...
Cady: Wow. Your house is really nice.
Regina: I know, right?
Gretchen: Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.
Cady: What do we even talk about?
Janis: [shrugs shoulders] Hair products!
Damian: [interrupts] Ashton Kutcher.
Cady: Is that a band?
Cady: [after seeing Regina in mirror] Regina, wow, you look really beautiful.
Regina: I'm wearing a spinal halo.
Cady: Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault.
Regina: Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus.
Cady: I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too.
Regina: Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.
Cady: [Cady smiles]
Regina: You know Aaron really does like you. He's always talking about how unusual you are and it really pissed me off. Like this one time, I got this really expensive doll house from Germany, but I never played with it. So my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn't want it...
Cady: You begged your mom to let you keep it?
Regina: No. I threw it down the stairs.
Regina: I didn't want anyone else to have it. But that's just me.
Mrs. George: Regina! There about to announce the queen.
Mrs. George: Hello.
Regina: Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?
Regina: [they giggle]
Cady: [about Regina] I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.
Cady: I think I'm joining the Mathletes.
Regina, Gretchen, Karen: No! No, no!
Regina: You cannot do that. That is social suicide. *Damn*! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.
Cady: Hey!... Are we still in a fight?
Janis: You still an asshole?
Cady: No. I don't think so.
Chip Heron: This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk; you can ask one of the big kids where to do that.
Betsy Heron: Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready?
Cady: I think so.
Cady: Grool... I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.
Cady: Everyone in Africa knows Swedish
[after learning Cady is home-schooled]
Regina: But you're, like, really pretty.
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree?
Regina: You think you're really pretty?
Cady: Oh... I don't know
Kevin Gnapoor: Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color.
Cady: I have to pee.
Cady: [voiceover] Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute...
Regina: What is this?
Cady: [voiceover] Actual vomit.
Ms. Norbury: You nervous?
Ms. Norbury: Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.
Gretchen: Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.
Cady: I wouldn't?
Gretchen: Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.
Cady: [at a Mathletes competition] The limit does not exist!
Cady: [voiceover] In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.
Janis: Cady, you gotta steal that book
Cady: No Way!
Janis: Come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is!
Cady: So, are you gonna send any candy canes?
Regina: No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.
Cady: She took him back. Regina took Aaron back.
Janis: Oh, no, Cady...
Cady: Why would she do that?
Janis: 'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.
Cady: [describing Regina] She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.
Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.
Kevin Gnapoor: Cady, this is your night. Don't let the hataz stop you from doin' ya thang!
Cady: Did you just say "thang"?
Cady: Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
Cady: And they have this book, this "Burn Book" where they write mean things about girls in our grade.
Janis: Well what does it say about me?
Cady: You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches.
Aaron Samuels: Hey!
Aaron Samuels: And you are... a zombie bride.
Cady: An "ex-wife."
Aaron Samuels: Love it. Can I get you a drink?
Aaron Samuels: All right. Be right back.
Regina: [On the phone] I know your secret.
Cady: [to herself] Oh god, busted! Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.
Cady: Secret? What are you saying about?
Regina: Gretchen told me you like Aaron Samuels. I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want, but lemme just tell you something about Aaron, all he cares about is school and his mom and his friends.
Cady: Is that bad?
Regina: But if you like him, whatever. I mean I could talk to him for you if you want.
Cady: Really? You would do that? I mean nothing embarassing though, right?
Regina: Oh no, trust me, I know exactly how to play it. But wait, aren't you *so* mad at Gretchen for telling me? Because if you are you can tell me, it was a really bitchy thing for her to do.
Cady: Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad, I mean I guess she just likes the attention.
Regina: See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you!
Gretchen: [Suddenly appears in the same phone conversation] I can't believe you think I like attention!
Regina: [to both Cady and Gretchen] Ok, love you, see you tomorrow!
Cady: [Deleted scene] I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury without getting blamed for the whole Burn Book. And then she said it, the worst thing you could hear from any adult.
Ms. Norbury: Your parents have been eaten by cannibals!
Cady: Okay, the second worst.
Ms. Norbury: I'm really disappointed in you, Cady.
Cady: Hi, I don't know if anyone told you about me, I'm a new student here, my name is Cady Heron.
Kristen Hadley: Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass!
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