C.O. Salem Quotes in G.I. Jane (1997)

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: [commenting on the special standard for her training] I mean really sir, why don't you just issue me a pink petticoat to wear around the base?

C.O. Salem: Did you just have a brain fart, Lieutenant?

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: Begging your pardon, sir?

C.O. Salem: Did you just waltz in here and bark at your commanding officer? Because if you did, I would call that a bona fide brain fart, and I resent it when people FART inside my office!

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: I think you've resented me from the start, sir.

C.O. Salem: What I resent, Lieutenant, is some politician using my base as a test tube for her grand social experiment. What I resent, is the sensitivity training that is now mandatory for all of my men. The ob-gyn I now have to keep on staff just to keep track of your personal pap smears. But most of all what I resent, is your perfume, however subtle, interfering with the scent of my fine three-dollar-and-seventy-nine-cent cigar, which I will put out this instant if the phallic nature of it happens to offend your GODDAMN FRAGILE SENSIBILITIES! Does it?

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: No, sir.

C.O. Salem: "No, sir" WHAT?

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: The shape doesn't bother me. Just the goddamn sweet stench.

C.O. Salem: [after Jordan demands that he remove the dual standard] One standard.

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: Just treat me the same. No better, no worse.

C.O. Salem: You're gonna get everything you want, O'Neil. I just wonder if you want what you're gonna get.

Lt. Jordan O'Neil: Hoo-yah, sir.

Sen. Lillian DeHaven: Captain, are you in the habit of lettin' reporters traipse around your base, snappin' their fill? These are supposed to be discreet test cases!

C.O. Salem: Senator, they stand out on a public highway using telephoto lenses. There is nothin' I can do about it, unless you want me to infringe on their civil liberties, which I will be glad to do, if you'll just trim a little fat off the Constitution.

Sen. Lillian DeHaven: Did you just mouth off to a senior member of the Senate Arms Committee? I mean, I'll give you points for style, just nothin' for smarts!

C.O. Salem: Welcome to SEAL/C.R.T. selection program. You have volunteered for the most intensive military training known to man. You are all proven operators within the SpecOps communtiy: SEALs, EOD, Army Delta, Marine Force Recon, Naval Intel community, and so on. In spite of your expertise, many of you will not successfully negotiate this program. Those that do, will experience an operational tempo that exceeds that of any other unit within the US arsenal. That is all that is to be said about the special nature of the CRT training program. I now turn you over to my Command Master Chief, John James Urgayle.