Bus Driver Quotes in The Dark Knight (2008)

Grumpy: That's a lot of money. If this Joker guy was so smart, he'd have had us bring a bigger car.

[promptly draws his gun and points it a Bozo]

Grumpy: I'm bettin' the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we loaded the cash.

Bozo: [looks at his watch, checking it. He sighs] No, no no no. I kill the bus driver.

Grumpy: [as Bozo moves a few paces to one side] Bus driver? What bus driver?

[a yellow school bus reverses through the bank's doors and knocks Grumpy down. The driver jumps out]

Bus Driver: School's out! Time to go!

[laughs]

Bus Driver: Cat's not gettin' up, is he?

[loading duffels]

Bus Driver: That's a lot of money. What happened to the rest of the guys?

[Bozo casually shoots the bus driver dead, then picks up the last duffel and throws it into the bus. Bozo prepares to climb in]

Gotham National Bank Manager: Think you're smart, huh? The guy that hired youze, he'll just do the same to you. Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?

Bozo: [putting a gas grenade in the banker's mouth] I believe, whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...

[takes off his mask revealing the face of the Joker]

The Joker: ...stranger.

Bus Driver: [driving the bus] Next stop, Sunset Boulevard! I guess it's Sunset Boulevard.

Bus driver: Just like all dames... she don't know whether she's coming or going.

Norby: Did a baby get off this bus? A little guy about two feet tall. It's an emergency!

Bus Driver: I didn't have nobody today with a baby.

Norby: He was BY HIMSELF!

Beavis: Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair. We've traveled, um, a hundred miles 'cause we thought we were gonna score. But now it's not gonna happen. Damn it!

Bus Driver: Hey, buddy, sit down.

Beavis: Shut up, ass-wipe! I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score. It's just not gonna happen! We're just gonna get old like these people... but they've probably scored!

Bus Driver: Hey, I'm warning you! SIT DOWN!

Beavis: [motioning to Martha] It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times!

Old Guy: [nodding] Oh, yeah.

Beavis: But not us. We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score!

Bus Driver: [driving a larger fish as a bus and addressing another fish] That will be two clams and five stones, madam.

Fly: [gathers a few clams and gives them to the driver] Here: keep the change.

Bus Driver: [clears his throat] Just a second! These are not valid.

Fly: Not valid?

Bus Driver: You'll have to get off.

Fly: W-what? Chuck, give me your glasses.

[to driver, handing him the lenses of the glasses]

Fly: Here, then; have these Transatlantic, Transpacific, worldwide, oceanic-approved deluxe coins.

Bus Driver: Very well, then. Here are the tickets.

Fly: Hold on. Uh, these two

[gesturing to Stella and Sasha]

Fly: are less than six years of age. They ride for free.

Bus Driver: Oh. Yes. Of course,

[hands Fly back one lens]

Bus Driver: here's a refund.

Fly: [gesturing to Chuck] And this poor fellow is half-blind.

Bus Driver: Well...

Fly: It's not fair that he should pay full price.

Bus Driver: I-I-I-I suppose that's...

Fly: And while we're at it, could we sell back the tickets we don't need?

Bus Driver: Uh, well, um...

[Fly gives back the unneeded tickets]

Bus Driver: Next time, have exact change!

Chuck: [to Fly] And what would have happened if it *didn't* work, genius?

[Prince Edward rides on top of an MTA New York City Transit bus thinking it is a steel beast]

Prince Edward: You've met your match, you foul bellowing beast!

[He takes his sword and stabs it through the roof of the bus, the blade also ripping open an old lady's bag in the process]

Bus Driver: [stops the bus] Everybody stay on the bus.

Prince Edward: Giselle? My love?

Pip in New York: Giselle?

Prince Edward: Right. The steel beast is dead, peasants! I've set you all free!

Bus Driver: [gets off the bus and yells at Edward] Are you crazy? Nobody stabs my bus! I'll tear you apart! Do you hear me? You get down here RIGHT NOW!

Nathaniel: Madam, allow me...

Prince Edward: Nathaniel, old friend!

Nathaniel: Sire, may I suggest that you, uh...

Bus Driver: You? A friend a' his? Crazy tight-wearin'... Are you tryin' to mess up my route?

[Pip jumps onto her forehead, and mimics her]

Bus Driver: I'll tear you both apart! Don't you roll your eyes at me, you...

[Nathaniel points at Pip, causing the driver to look up]

Bus Driver: A RAT! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

[She goes berserk and tries to get Pip off of her]

Prince Edward: Well, strictly speaking, he's a chipmunk.

Nathaniel: Sire, may I suggest we seek elsewhere for your bride?

[last lines]

Caroline Wolff Hansen: I love you.

Tobias 'Toby' Wolff: I know that, mom. I've always known that.

Bus driver: All aboard!

Bus Driver: All right! Rest stop, 45 minutes! C'mon, folks, we got to move! We leave at 2:45 on the dot! Can't be late!

[to his white passengers]

Bus Driver: Hot meals and bathrooms inside!

[to his "colored" passengers]

Bus Driver: All right, uh, there's a window out back for y'all to buy sandwiches. And I suggest you make good use of them outhouses! Ain't nothing but bushes for you in the Carolinas!

Bus Driver: [unable to get the ferry moving] I'm usually the bus driver!

Production Assistant: [into his radio] Bottom line is they can't drive the boat. They're actors!

Tom: [Montage of Summer] I hate her crooked teeth. I hate her 1960s haircut. I hate her knobby knees. I hate her cockroach-shaped splotch on her neck. I hate the way she smacks her lips before she talks. I hate the way she sounds when she laughs.

[Fade to black as Swayze's "She's Like the Wind" plays briefly]

Tom: I HATE THIS SONG!

Bus Driver: [Open to Tom standing while bus comes to a sudden stop] Son, you need to get off the bus.

Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.

Billy Madison: No, you don't.

Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her *got it on*. Wooo-eee!

Billy Madison: No, they didn't.

Bus Driver: No, no, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, right...? Everybody on, good, great, grand, wonderful.

[shouts]

Bus Driver: No yelling on the bus!

Kyle: Hey, I dare you to throw your sandwich at the bus driver.

[Dan throw's sandwhich at the bus driver]

Bus Driver: HEY!

Veronica Vaughn: Hey who threw that?

Bus Driver: I'll turn this damn bus around! That'll end your precious field trip pretty damn quick huh! Little shit!

[quivers lips up and down while face gets red]

Bus Driver: [after noticing Mrs. Doubtfire has hairy legs] I like that Mediterranean look in women. Natural, healthy. Just the way God made you.

Mrs. Doubtfire: [modestly] Well, He broke the mold when He made me. He made me very special.

Bus Driver: He sure did.

Winifred Sanderson: Well, tell me friend, what is this contraption?

Bus Driver: I call it a bus.

Winifred Sanderson: A bus. And its purpose?

Bus Driver: To convey gorgeous creatures such as yourselves to your most...

[cracks his knuckle]

Bus Driver: Forbidden desires.

Winifred Sanderson: [laughs] Well, fancy! We desire children.

Bus Driver: Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don't think there's gonna be a problem.

Bus Driver: [Encountering the Sanderson Sisters] Bubble, bubble! I'm in trouble!

Bus Driver: Mmm, mmm, mmm! I need one of those instant ice packs. You girls are giving me a fever!

Grimm: When you say "near" the airport...

Bus Driver: .48 miles.

Grimm: Alright. When do we get there?

Bus Driver: 22:30 hours.

Grimm: When is that? In human time.

Bus Driver: 10:30.

Grimm: 10:30. Say you had to walk it...

Bus Driver: With that injured individual?

Grimm: Yes.

Bus Driver: I can't give you a precise figure on that.

Grimm: Come on! Make a guess.

Bus Driver: 21 minutes.

Bus Driver: Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board. Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board. Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board...

Bus Driver: You have exact change, right?

Grimm: Have you looked back there? I don't think anybody is going to object.

Bus Driver: I look back there every night friend. That's why i conduct my own affairs in a clean and hygienic fashion.

Ava Marchetta: What? I'm not tipping you until I know how your service is.

Bus Driver: It's a dollar thirty five for both of you or no ride.

Newton Davis: Don't you remember the time I... I... I had myself delivered to you in a box for your birthday? And... and the guy I paid to deliver the box screwed up and delivered me to the wrong apartment? And... and how the... the lady who opened the box... uh... freaked out and started screaming? And I ran out of there just as you poked your head into the hall. And... and the next thing I know, this one's bashing me for having an affair with her neighbor, and this one's bashing me for being some kind of gift-wrapped pervert? And... and all I had to protect myself was... was a dozen roses. And... and... and you never even read the note.

Bus Driver: What did the note say?

Newton Davis: I... I'll tell you what it said... it said... marry me, Gwen, I'm lost without you.

Jeff Gerber: I am not colored.

Bus Driver: I know. I'm Spanish myself.

Bus Driver: Hey... ah, what happened to you man... uh, how come I never noticed you were colored before?

Jeff Gerber: Because I was never colored before!

Bus Driver: Oh, it happened just like that, huh?

Jeff Gerber: Just like that!

Bus Driver: Well, when you get back on the bus, just sit down and cool it - they don't love you, you know.

Jeff Gerber: *Nobody* loves me - big deal!

Bus Driver: Well just don't make any trouble.

Jeff Gerber: Listen, I am *not* colored!

Bus Driver: I know, I'm Spanish myself.

Edwin: I don't want to go to Brooklyn. You can't make me. I don't *want* to go to Brooklyn.

Bus Driver: None of us want to, bud, but we all gotta go sooner or later.

Bus Driver: What happened to you?

Sam Masterson: [Cut, bruised and disheveled from a beating] Not a thing. I'm just made up for Halloween.

Tracey Berkowitz: [after a screaming woman has been escorted off of the bus] But she didn't do anything!

Bus Driver: It's been a long day. Come on, let's go.

Tracey Berkowitz: It's this dirtbag!

[points at woman's husband]

Tracey Berkowitz: [Tracey is escorted off too] She didn't even do anything! She didn't do ANYTHING!

[gets off of the bus, goes to the lady]

Tracey Berkowitz: Are you okay?

Woman in Fur: [sobbing and screaming] HE TOOK MY MONEY, MAN! HE TOOK MY FUCKING MONEY!

[Tracey gives the woman some money, then a pause]

Woman in Fur: You...

[takes Tracey, kisses her head and hugs her]

Woman in Fur: Thank you. Thank you! I love you, thank you.

[about the Allen's new home]

Bus Driver: Ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties, that place 'as got 'em.

Bus Driver: Come on, sister. Are you ridin' with me or ain't ya? You look as if you'd seen a ghost.

Alice Moore: Did you see it?

bus passenger: [Exiting bus in fog] You know, it's good to get home safely with all the strange things going around here.

bus driver: Oh, there's nothing to worry about, ma'am. You just be careful out there in that fog!

bus passenger: [Uncertainly] Thank you.

[first lines]

Bus driver: Next stop will be Littleton.