Burns Quotes in Surviving the Game (1994)

Jack Mason: [Aiming the gun at Burns] BANG! Game over.

[Unloads the gun and discards the bullets. Drops the gun and starts walking away]

Burns: [Burns gets up, picks up the gun, sees one bullet and loads it] It's my lucky day. Hey, Mason!

Jack Mason: Burns, there's something you should always do when you find a gun.

Burns: [Close up of gun, camera pulls in tight: we see the barrel is obstructed] Say goodbye.

[Burns fires - the gun explodes, killing Burns instantly]

Jack Mason: ALWAYS check the barrel.

[Walks off into distance]

[a pig's head has been served for dinner. Mason takes a sip of wine]

Wolfe Sr.: What do you think?

Jack Mason: It's alright. I like this. This is good!

Wolfe Sr.: Four-fifty a bottle.

Jack Mason: Four dollars fifty cents, I should be drinkin' this shit a *long* time ago!

Wolfe Sr.: Four hundred and fifty dollars!

[Mason spits out the wine in amazement]

Wolfe Sr.: Don't waste it!

[They all laugh]

Jack Mason: I could live off that for three months!

Cole: Well, you don't want to drink too much, anyway, 'cause you don't wanna be slow tomorrow!

Wolfe Sr.: No, indeed.

[Doc turns the pig's head toward Mason while making squealing noises]

Doc Hawkins: You are missing the best part, Mr. Mason. When you're eating the flesh of the pig... look into his little beady eyes. That way you will be devouring his soul.

Burns: Doc, sometimes you even scare *me*!

Doc Hawkins: Good.

[smiles deviously]

Burns: Alright. Let's get the turkey!

Cole: The only thing I miss up here is a sport page. I'm so used getting up, having my morning coffee and opening up the sport page.

Burns: I don't read newspapers anymore. They're like a mirror of the world's ugliness. I like beautiful things.

Doc Hawkins: [Doc gets up very enthusiastically] I'm ready to go. Let's go

Burns: Relax, Doc, digest your food.

Doc Hawkins: Wasting time.

Burns: We gotta give him some more time.

Doc Hawkins: No.

Burns: Think of this as foreplay.

Doc Hawkins: Nevermind foreplay, I'm talking about...

[Sharply interrupted]

Burns: Doc, Prince Henry Stout. Remember the rules.

Doc Hawkins: I feel something special about this.

Burns: It's gonna be so much more special when you finally kill him. Derek, eat some of those eggs, they'll make you feel better.

Doc Hawkins: Eat, eat.

Derek Wolfe Jr: [Shockingly depressive] I'm not hungry.

John Griffin: Big one?

Derek Wolfe Jr: I said I'm not hungry.

John Griffin: [Griffith stands up and changes his plate with Derek's and Derek gets out of the table] Well, terrific. I'll tell you what let's switch around here.

Burns: I hope this is not gonna be a problem?

Wolfe Sr.: It won't be.

Derek Wolfe Jr: [Wolfe Sr. comes to terrified Derek] No.

Wolfe Sr.: You'll be okay.

Derek Wolfe Jr: No, I can't do this.

Wolfe Sr.: Yes, you can. I got a thousand dollars is my son will draw first blood. One, two, three. You've just made yourself three thousand dollars, Derek.

Burns: Life's true pleasures are so unpredictable. I'd say cherish the moment for it is. Observe your food, smell it, touch it, put your mind into it, and you're finally ready, consume it slowly.

Jack Mason: Hmm, you do your way, I'll do mine.

Mickey Wright: There we are, me and Miss Ohio, about a mile high, looking down on all these incredible lights, full moon above us, a crowd of people below.

Sanchez: Yeah, keep goin'...

Mickey Wright: She looks into my eyes and there's this really heavy vibe going on. Next thing I know the sash comes off, she's unzipping her dress, and her hands are all over me - I mean like *all* over.

Burns: That's my boy!

Franklin: I've been on the Ferris wheel back home a thousand times. How come nothing like that ever happened to me?

Mickey Wright: Oh, sure it did. It was your *own* hands all over you.