Bugs Quotes in Space Jam (1996)

Michael Jordan: What's going on here?

Bugs: Why Michael! l thought you'd never ask! You see These aliens from outer space want to make us slaves in their theme park. They're little. So we challenged them to a basketball game. Eh, what do we care? They're little, so we challenge them to a basketball game! But then they show up and they ain't so little,

[shouts]

Bugs: they're huge! We need to beat these guys, 'cause They're talking about slavery! They'll make us do stand-up, the same jokes every night every night for all eternity! We're going to be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to perform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, bad-headed, humor-challenged aliens! Eh, what I'm trying to say is...

[shouts]

Bugs: we need your help!

Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now!

Bugs: Right.

[gets out rabbit skull]

Bugs: And I'm a Shakespearean actor.

Bugs: You wanna play a little one on one, doll?

Lola Bunny: [angrily, with fire in her eyes] Doll?

Bugs: [with hearts over his head] Uh huh.

Lola Bunny: On the court, *Bugs*.

Bugs: Sure.

Tweety Bird: Ooo, she's hot.

[Touches his rear and steam appears with a hissing sound]

Lola Bunny: [starts dribbling] Ready?

Bugs: Yes.

[she gets past him]

Bugs: I got it, I got it!

[she spins around him, he winds up into a knot and she makes a basket]

Michael Jordan: The girl's got skills.

Bugs: [Lola comes over to him seductively] Yes?

Lola Bunny: Don't ever call me "doll".

[blows her ears out of her face]

Bugs: Check.

Lola Bunny: [as she is leaving] Nice playin' with ya.

Michael Jordan: Very smooth.

Bugs: Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.

Michael Jordan: Obviously.

Daffy Duck: You think she's got enough toys?

Bugs: Speaking of toys, remember those mugs and t-shoits and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em?

Daffy Duck: Yeah.

Bugs: You ever see any money from all that stuff?

Daffy Duck: Hah, not a cent!

Bugs: Hmm... me neither.

Daffy Duck: [sighs] It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents, we're gettin' screwed!

Daffy: How's this for a new team name: The Ducks!

Bugs: Please! What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name their team The Ducks?

Bugs: Look at our facilities.

Daffy: We've got hoops!

Elmer Fudd: We've got weights!

Sylvester: We've got balls!

Michael Jordan: You sure do. This place is a mess.

Monstar Bupkus: That's mine!

Bugs: [stealing the ball] Not today.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the starting lineup for the Toon Squad: Standing two foot four, The Wonder from Down Under: The Tasmanian Devil!

[Taz squeezes two balls in his mouth, pops them, and spins around]

Announcer: At small forward: standing a scintillating three foot two, The Heartthrob of the Hoops: Lola Bunny!

[Lola dribbles and spins the ball on her finger]

Announcer: At power forward, The Quackster of the Court: Daffy Duck!

Daffy Duck: Thank you! Thank you!

[Silence from the audience, crickets chirping]

Daffy Duck: [disappointed, but sarcastically] Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck!

Announcer: And the point guard, standing three foot three, four feet if you include the ears, Co-captain of the toon squad, the Doctor of Delight: Bugs Bunny!

Bugs: Thank you! Thank you!

Announcer: And now, the player coach of the Toon Squad, at six foot six from North Carolina, his Royal Airness: Michael Jordan!

Sylvester: [after a few suggestions of what to challenge the Nerdlucks to] Suffering succotash! What's wrong with all of ya? I say... we get a ladder

[as you see a mental image of him on a ladder outside of a window where Tweety Bird is sitting in his cage]

Sylvester: ... wait till the old lady gets out of the room... then grab that little bird!

[grabs Tweety Bird, then the scene transitions back to Sylvester holding on to one of his thumbs, hyperventilating]

Bugs: Whoa, whoa! Take a deep breath, Sly!

Lola Bunny: [Bugs has just been squashed after pushing Lola out of the way] Are you okay?

Bugs: Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?

Lola Bunny: Oh Bugs, thank you.

Bugs: Aww, it was nothin'.

Lola Bunny: That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

[she gives him a long kiss, then leaves]

Michael Jordan: Bugs?

Bugs: Yeah, Mike?

Michael Jordan: Stay out of trouble.

[he leaves]

Bugs: [to Lola] You know I will.

[Lola laughs]

Bugs: [grabbing her arms] Come here!

[he gives her a long kiss, she howls and then quickly changes to the next scene by pulling it down over them like a window shade]

Nerdluck Bang: We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny.

Nerdluck Nawt: Yeah, Bugs Bunny.

Nerdluck Bupkus: Have you seen him?

Nerdluck Blanko: Is he around?

Bugs: Hmmm... Bugs Bunny... Bugs Bunny... Say, don't he have, uh, great big long ears...

[pulls his ears]

Bugs: like this?

Nerdlucks: Yeah.

Bugs: And does he hop around like this?

[hops around the forrest]

Nerdlucks: Uh-huh.

Bugs: And does he say, "What's up, doc?" like this?

[chomps carrot]

Bugs: Eh, what's up, doc?

Nerdlucks: [excited] YEAH!

Bugs: [leaves] Nope, never heard of him.

Nerdlucks: Aw...

Bugs: [to the audience] Y'know, maybe there *is* no intelligent life out there in the univoise after all.

Bugs: Okay, okay, which one of you maroons has ever played basketball?

Bugs: Yeah, Sure, let the little pipsqueaks knock themselves out,

Bugs: These little pipsqueaks just turned into superstars!

Bugs: You expected the Easter Bunny?

Bugs: Look out for that first step, doc, it's a real lulu.

Bugs: Not real? lf l weren't real, could l do this?

Bugs: Let the doctor take a look. A little high. Going down!

Bugs: You know, maybe there is no intelligent life out in the universe after all.

Nick Adams: [After the roadwork is stopped] That a mile?

Bugs: Sure. We do a 100 yards to a mile.

Bugs: [to Nick as he is leaving] You, uh, find yourself a buddy - your own kind of buddy. A man alone has no damn chance, you hear?

Bugs: [seeing Goofy in an ill-fitting suit] What are you all dressed up for?

Goofy: Me and Pops was over to see Mom. She's in the county jail.

Fats: Yeah? What for?

Goofy: Thirty days. Pop's goin' next 'cause he's gonna beat up Mama when she gts out.