Buddy Quotes in Baby Driver (2017)

Buddy: Is she a good girl? You love her?

Baby: Yes, I do.

Buddy: That's too bad.

Darling: You think my real name is Darling?

Buddy: Buddy, Bats, Darling - they're all code names, nicknames. Monikers.

Bats: So what's your name, Darling?

Darling: Monica.

Holland March: You seen Chet, the projectionist?

Buddy: Yeah, he just left like 10 minutes ago, went for a drink. And you are?

Holland March: In a hurry. Thanks, buddy.

Buddy: How'd you know my name was Buddy?

Holland March: Thanks, buddy.

Buddy: How'd you know my name was Buddy?

Mr. Incredible: Bomb Voyage.

Bomb Voyage: Monsieur Incroyable!

[Subtitles: Mr. Incredible...!]

Buddy: And IncrediBoy!

Bomb Voyage: [not French, but with an accent] IncrediBoy?

Buddy: Hey, hey! Aren't you curious about how I get around so fast? See? I have these rocket boots! They're made fr...

Mr. Incredible: [cuts him off] Go home, Buddy.

Buddy: What?

Mr. Incredible: Now.

Bomb Voyage: Petit mufle va!

[Subtitles: Little oaf...!]

Buddy: Can we talk?

[pulls Mr. Incredible off to the side]

Buddy: You always, always say "Be true to yourself," but you never say which part of yourself to be true to! Well, I finally figured out who I am: I am your ward. IncrediBoy!

Mr. Incredible: And now, you have officially carried it too far, Buddy.

[grabs Bomb Voyage, who yells in surprise]

Buddy: This is because I don't have powers, isn't it? Well, not every superhero has powers, you know. You *can* be super without them. I *invented* these.

[points to his rocket boots]

Buddy: I can fly! Can you fly?

Mr. Incredible: Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.

Bomb Voyage: Et ton tenue est complètement ridicule!

[Subtitles: And your outfit is totally ridiculous!]

Mr. Incredible: No, you're that kid from the fan club. Brophy... Brody... Buddy! Buddy...

Buddy: My name is IncrediBoy.

Mr. Incredible: Look, I've been nice, I've stood for photos, signed every scrap of paper you pushed at me, but this...

Buddy: Oh, no, no, you don't have to worry about training me! I know all your moves, your crime-fighting style, favorite catchphrases, everything! I'm your number one fan!

[Mr. Incredible ejects him from the car, and speeds off]

Buddy: I've lost everything. My mentor, my friends. I have nothing left to fight for. Kill me. Please. I don't want to change into one of those monsters. Well, I guess there is no other choice.

Leon S. Kennedy: I'd feel the same way if I was you. But the option of taking our own lives no longer belongs to us. Once we start using these, we owe it to the people who died alongside us. We have to continue living. Even if it means living the rest of our lives without the use of your limbs. That is my answer and your answer, Buddy.

JD: It's time for me to go. But I'll be rooting for you from heaven.

Buddy: Get up, you idiot. You think that vest you're wearing is a girl's blouse? We have to get Ataman away from here.

JD: I should have guessed. Made in America.

Buddy: The American and the Russians had us in the palm of their hands from the beginning.

Leon S. Kennedy: That's what it looks like.

Buddy: Did you know about this?

Leon S. Kennedy: No. If I did, I'd still be enjoying my vacation.

[Brian comes to school with a new, clean-cut look]

Yabbo: Brian, Halloween's not 'til October.

Brian Kelly: So?

Yabbo: So? Where's your board?

Brian Kelly: I felt like walking today!

Yabbo: Why are you wearing those clothes?

Gremic: Oh, I know, his clothes are in the cleaners.

Buddy: I bet his mom put him up to it.

Yabbo: [telling Brian about a house that burned down to skate the pool] Besides, it burned down last week.

Buddy: [points at Yabbo] Yeah, he burned it!

Gremic: [While in the plane scouting for a pool] Check it out, there's my mom's, there's my dad's house.

Buddy: Hey, there's my Pizza Hut!

Buddy: [looking at male strippers] Those guys are faggots!

Samson: Look! We found it! It says Bruce Leigh

[pronounced Lee]

Samson: .

Buddy: But that says Bruce Leg!

[thinking Leigh is pronounced Leg]

Samson: Didn't I tell you two to go back to school?

Buddy: Float away, little butterfly. Just flutter away. I got a gig in Vegas. And the wastelands ain't no place for kids.

Mesh-Head: If I were you, I would run.

Buddy: If you were me, you'd be good-lookin'.

Buddy: You still there?

[Marks a line on the ground with his katana]

Buddy: Cross that line, kid, I'll cut your little teddy bear in half. Last kid that crossed that line, I had to summon up the Spinach Monster with my rock 'n' roll magic. The Spinach Monster grabbed him, pulled him underground and made him eat spinach all day. Rumor has it, kid... he's still there.

Buddy: What are you lookin' at? You look up at the sky, you look down on the ground, but you don't look at me, kid. Got it?

Buddy: [Tired of the kid bawling and being a nuisance] I wonder where I could trade the kid for a ratchet?

Buddy: Don't touch my guitar, man.

Buddy: If you scratch my guitar, I'll kill you.

Buddy: Who are you?

Death: Death,

Buddy: Cool!

The Kid: A '56 Chevy Belair could kick a '48 Buick Roadmaster's ass any day, at least in a first quarter mile that is.

Buddy: [Looks at the Kid, then at the ground, then back at the Kid] You come all this way out saying squat and now you're trying to tell me that a '56 Chevy could beat a '48 Buick in a dead quarter mile?

[Looks at the ground again, the back at the Kid]

Buddy: I liked you better when you weren't saying squat kid... Go to bed.

Buddy: [mocking Damien's orders] I want you to kill the Pope, but don't upset the Catholics.

Buddy: [walking away after killing a State witness and six Federal agents] C'mon. Let's go get us a cappuccino.

Chloe: And, when that random cat tried to eat Sweet Pea, who saved him?

Buddy: It wasn't a random cat. It was you.

Chloe: The identity of the random cat is not the point. We're talking about who saved him!

Mel: Max did!

Buddy: [as they enter the sewer] What is that smell?

Pops: It's poo-poo with a dash of caca.

Snowball: Welcome my dogs! Oh, you guys look weird. Hurry up, come on in.

Buddy: You said it was a costume party!

Mel: Why do you listen to me?

Buddy: How you been, old timer?

Pops: Paralyzed.

[Awkward pause]

Gidget: Great!

Buddy: This is not the time for womanly imaginings.

Buddy: [taking off Carl's fake women's eyelashes] What'd you put these on with, airplane glue?

Carl Banks: Ouch! How do I look?

Buddy: Like a movie star.

Carl Banks: Yeah, which one?

Buddy: Ever see Nightmare on Elm Street?

Cindy Campbell: You know, you really are my best friend, Cindy.

Cindy Campbell: Thanks, Brenda.

Buddy: Hey are you guys okay?

Brenda Meeks: Hell, yeah. It's gonna take more than a bag of bones to scare me.

Hell House Ghost: Wedgie!

Cindy Campbell: Oh my God! Brenda, do something!

Brenda Meeks: Okay!

Hell House Ghost: [Brenda runs away]

Cindy Campbell: I thought I was your best friend?

Brenda Meeks: Was. I'ma miss you, girl!

Buddy: Are you okay, Dwight?

Dwight Hartman: I can't... I can't feel my legs...

[pause]

Dwight Hartman: Aaahahaha! I can't feel my legs!

Ray Wilkins: You never could.

Dwight Hartman: Hey... you stay out of this, all right?

Ray Wilkins: What do you think, tucked in, or out?

[reveals he's talking about his penis, which is tucked between his legs]

Buddy, Tommy: OH! OUT!

Buddy: I heard Dwight tell the professor that there could be a poltergeist in the house and that we could all be in danger!

Shorty Meeks: Aww, naaaaw son! NOT A POLTERGEIST! What's a poltergeist?

Buddy: Hey, Cind.

Cindy Campbell: Hey, Buddy.

Buddy: [punches her in the boob] Open chest! Oh, come on. You gotta be quicker than that A cup.

[Cindy crawls up]

Theo: Hey, guys.

[all the guys say hello and look at her sexually]

Theo: Well, are you boys gonna sit there with your mouths open or is someone gonna offer me a seat?

[everyone pushes their chairs towards her]

Dwight Hartman: [Dwight pushes wheelchair towards her and sits on Ray's leg] I warmed it up for you. It's the best seat in the house.

Ray Wilkins: Second best.

[Ray touches Dwight's hair]

[Terry asks for Buddy's help with Sandy up in his bedroom]

Terry: Listen, there's a half-naked woman in your bedroom feeding pizza to some fish, and she's all yours.

Buddy: Sounds too kinky for me.

Terry: [Terry grabs a hold of Buddy by the arms] Budster, I need you. She needs you. You need her.

Buddy: [Buddy looks up the stairs] Is she really half-naked?

Terry: Maybe more by now.

Buddy: What if you're lying?

Terry: What if I'm not?

Buddy: Good point. If I'm not back in a week, forward my mail.

[Buddy answers the telephone in front of Terry and begins cursing out in profanity]

Buddy: [Buddy talks on the phone] Hello? Hey, yo, scumbag! Hey, suck your own. Eat me. Hey, same to you, buttface!

Buddy: [Terry stares at Buddy in bewilderment as he hangs up starting to walk off] Mom says 'hi.'

[Buddy teaches Terry how to scratch her balls]

Buddy: Very crucial. Something every guy does. Let me see you scratch your balls.

Buddy: [Terry rolls her eyes at Buddy] Hey, come on, try it.

Buddy: [Terry scratches her jeans] Wait a minute. Watch the master. Now first, there's your basic shift.

Buddy: [Buddy shifts his body with his balls] But that's not always enough. Sometimes you've got to get inside, dig a little, let some air in, move things around.

Terry: Yeah, well, maybe my balls don't itch.

Buddy: All balls itch. It's a fact!

[Buddy tries to talk Terry out of her first thought of wanting to be a guy]

Terry: Sometimes I just wish I were a guy.

Buddy: No, you don't. The male body needs sex at all times. It's a living hell.

[Terry asks Buddy how she looks dressed in a tuxedo]

Terry: How do I look?

Buddy: [Buddy doesn't look] Dashing.

Terry: My zipper's open.

Buddy: That was the dashing part.

[Buddy sarcastically responds to Terry's serious sex question]

Terry: Can't you think of anything more profound than getting laid?

Buddy: A blowjob?

[Terry tries to comfort Buddy about sex not being a big deal]

Terry: Listen, sex is not that big a deal.

Buddy: I'd like to form my own opinion.

[Terry walks in on Buddy making out with Sandy in his bed]

Terry: Whoops!

Buddy: Hey, no problem. Just a couple of nice, clean all-American kids experimenting with sex.

[Terry tries to tell Buddy that wouldn't he want to have sex with someone he'll love]

Buddy: I'm 15 years old. In two years, I reach the peak of my sexual powers. The clock is ticking. I have to get jamming.

Terry: Can't you hear what you're saying? Aren't you a little embarrassed?

Buddy: Nope. I'm horny. Horny will kick embarrassment's ass every time.

Terry: [Terry puts her hands on Buddy's shoulders] Budster, listen to me. Don't you want your first time to be with someone you love?

Buddy: [Buddy with a smile on his face, whispers] I guarantee it, I'll be in love.

[Buddy talks to Terry in her disguise as Rick listens in]

Terry: Bud, what do you want?

Buddy: Guess who came by to pick you up for school this morning? Your true love. Kevina.

Buddy: [Rick looks at Terry] Kevina was very upset that you left without her. You know how she worships your rippling muscles and your hairy chest. Terry is such a stallion. Go on, show him your hairy chest.

Terry: Buddy!

[Terry storms into Buddy's room upset with men and sex]

Terry: All men care about is sex!

Buddy: I resent that.

[Terry sees the Playboy posters Buddy just hung up]

[Buddy talks to himself after seeing Terry dressed up looking like a guy]

Buddy: This morning I knew her. I talked to her. She screamed at me. Everything was great. Now she's wearing my clothes.

Buddy: [Buddy yells at Terry] Hey, who do think you are, Tootsie?

[Buddy miserably lays on the couch for not having any sex in two weeks]

Terry: Budmeister, are you okay?

Buddy: No, Terry, I'm not. Mom and Dad come home Monday. I've had two weeks of total freedom. The closest that I've come to sex was a girl who took her top off to seduce my sister. What's wrong with me?

[Buddy tries to make Terry smile by giving her his advice]

Buddy: Terry, it's summer. Smile.

Terry: My face hurts when I smile.

Buddy: Listen to me, oh, sister of my loins, I've got a driver's license and a sex life. You've got the job of your dreams, and a chauffeur. Life is sweet. Let's get an ice cream.

[Terry lays in bed moping about her article not being that great]

Terry: I know I could do better. I'm just confused.

Buddy: Of course you're confused. You're wearing my underwear.

[Buddy tells Terry that he's had sex before]

Buddy: Don't get me wrong. It's not like I've never had sex before. I've had lots of sex. Just that now I want to try it with a partner.

[Buddy looks to the side at Terry's friend Denise]

[Buddy wallows in misery just thinking about not having any sex]

Buddy: [as he talks to Terry] I know this place that delivers. 'Massage Delight' or something. Can I borrow $200?

Terry: Buddy, why don't you just call the guys and go to the mall?

Buddy: [Buddy hangs his hand over his head] I'd rather wallow in my virginity.

[Buddy tells Denise in the cafeteria about his parents being gone]

Buddy: Our parents are gone for two weeks. You know what that means? Their king-sized bed is empty. Well, what do you think?

Denise: I think if you and I were the last man and woman on Earth, the human race would die out.

Buddy: [Buddy smiles] You want time to think it over. I understand.

[Buddy defends his theory on the naked Playboy photos he has up on his walls]

Buddy: Big improvement, huh? The room needed something.

Terry: Your room is why my life is totally screwed up. You guys think beautiful women are nothing but decoration. Total airheads.

Buddy: [Buddy smiles up at the air] Hey, not me. These women have my deepest respect.

Terry: For showing their boobs?

Buddy: And for their minds. It just so happens that Kim here reads Vonnegut in her bubble bath, and Louann has dedicated her centerfold to help clean up toxic waste. And the only reason Barbara does her physics homework buck-naked is 'cause that library is hot.

[Buddy tells Terry how he would use a woman's body]

Terry: Come on, Buddy, admit it. You would love to spend your entire life just using women's bodies.

Buddy: Yeah, all but the last 60 seconds.

Buddy: [Buddy lays his Playboy magazine down and smiles at the air] I'd like a little time to reminisce.

[Buddy tells Terry a woman has the freedom to be as sick and perverted as a guy]

Terry: I mean, it's as if women's lib never existed.

Buddy: Today's woman has the freedom to be as sick and perverted as us guys.

Terry: Oh, that's wonderful. I mean, I write an excellent article, and just because I'm cute, no one takes me seriously. It's not fair.

Buddy: And yet somehow you find the courage to go on living. You've got guts.

[Terry teaches Buddy to stuff a sock in his pants]

Terry: Well, maybe this would help.

Terry: [Terry looks at the bulge in her jeans in front of the mirror] Not bad.

Buddy: [Buddy stands next to her looking at his bulge in the mirror] Shit. Maybe I should try that.

[Buddy teaches Terry how to walk like a guy]

Buddy: Okay. Let's see you walk.

Buddy: [Terry walks like a girl] Hold it. Look. You got balls now. Use 'em.

Buddy: [Buddy walks and talks like a guy for a demonstration] Say, baby, what's happening? I'm a lean, mean, sex machine, and that be the way it is.

Terry: [as Terry imitates Buddy] 'Say, baby, what's happening? I'm a lean, mean, sex machine, and that be the way it is.'

Buddy: [Buddy chuckles] I think you'll pass as long as you don't move.

[Denise sits with Terry in her bed and tries to cheer her up]

Denise: Terry, I hate when you're depressed. I mean, if you're this upset over your life, I should be suicidal.

Denise: [Denise sees the roses on Terry's bedroom table] I mean, look what Kevin sent you. I'd do anything to come home and find roses.

Buddy: [Buddy holds a single rose staring up at the ceiling] Can we define the word anything?

[Linda tries to leave the house as Buddy begs for her to not go]

Linda: [Linda nervously gets up to leave] Bye.

Buddy: [Buddy starts to crawl on his knees] Linda, wait. For God's sake, I vacuumed, Linda!

Linda: Buddy, you're a nice guy.

Buddy: No, not a nice guy. That's the kiss of death!

[Terry and Buddy crawl up the stairs on their hands and knees after they're both rejected]

Buddy: [about Linda] That girl had incredible self-control.

Terry: Kevin hates me. Rick hates me. Everybody hates me except Sandy.

Buddy: Oh, yeah, how'd it go? Did you get laid?

Terry: [Terry turns her head to Buddy] I bet I came closer than you.

[Buddy talks to his Mom on the phone as Terry sits beside him with a bad hangover]

Buddy: Not much has been happening, Ma. Yeah, I did pretty good on my history test. Terry's become a transsexual. Yeah, she's starting to grow hair on her chest. Yeah, just a second. Hey, Mom wants to talk to you.

Terry: No, no.

Buddy: Uh, she can't talk mom. The doctors have advised her not to speak. Something hormonal and vocal.

[as Terry hangs her head at Buddy]

[Sandy walks into Buddy's room thinking it's Terry's room]

Sandy: [Sandy sees all of the nude Playboy photos on the walls] Wow. Like this is where you sleep? Do your homework.

Terry: Yeah, well, uh... I like pictures of people.

Buddy: [Buddy from the doorway] Terry loves tits and ass.

Terry: These women aren't just tits and ass. Kim reads Vonnegut... and Louann... Louann despises toxic waste.

Buddy: Don't let him fool you. Hard-core sex maniac.

[Sandy and Buddy talk together while at the prom party]

Sandy: So, how's the fish?

Buddy: Great. I put a frogman in the bowl. And you know what? They really do love pizza.

[Terry tries to talk to Buddy as he's making out with Sandy in his bed]

Terry: You know, my voyage of self-discovery has ended in despair.

Buddy: Hey, that's so interesting, really. Can you shut the light off please?

[Buddy questions Terry about what she's doing hanging around Rick and not doing her research]

Terry: I'm just seeing Sandy for Rick.

Buddy: For Rick? What happened to research?

Terry: Well, that's what I meant.

Buddy: So for research, you're willing to toy with this poor girl's emotions? All you transvestites are alike. You disgust me.

[Buddy sits beside Denise wrapping his arm around her]

Buddy: You are so hot!

Denise: Buddy.

Denise: [Denise slowly takes Buddy's arm off] I just ate.

[Buddy tells his sister that she needs to throw a slumber party with her friends]

Buddy: I have two words for you. Slumber party. We'll invite every girl you know. Tall, short, loose, easy... I'll be the bartender. They can use my bedroom, they can use my body. I want to help.

Terry: You want to molest my friends.

Terry: [Buddy smiles shaking his head up and down] Forget it!

Buddy: Why? You'll have a party. And I'll...

[Buddy mimics the sound of an orgasm in front of Terry and Denise]

[Buddy looks at the picture of a Playboy magazine when the doorbell rings]

Buddy: Always when I'm busy!

[Buddy makes Kevin wait outside the front door to their house before answering it]

Buddy: [Buddy opens the front door] She's in the pool.

Kevin: What took you so long?

Buddy: I knew it was you.

Kevin: I keep forgetting how young you are.

Buddy: [after Kevin walks in Buddy looks at Kevin's Porsche outside] What a waste of a sports car.

[Terry fakes out Buddy when she first disguises herself as a guy]

Buddy: [Buddy talks to himself before answering the front doorbell] What are the odds of this being a homeless nymphomaniac?

Terry: [Terry outside] Is your sister home?

Buddy: Yeah.

Buddy: [Buddy yells up to Terry's room] Terry, you got company.

[when Buddy turns back to see Terry smiling outside]

[Buddy teaches Terry how to stand like a guy]

Buddy: Okay. Well, uh... Look how you're standing. I mean, drop your hands. Okay, now stick your hip in. All right, now move your feet out.

Buddy: [Buddy smiles] Hey. Guys take up space.

[Buddy jokes about Terry becoming a guy]

Terry: I'm going to do it. I'm going to take that article to Sturgis-Wilder, and I'm going to submit it as a guy.

Buddy: Hey, it makes perfect sense. You got a problem, you get in drag.

[Terry and Buddy talk about their food responsibilities when the fridge is empty]

Terry: Budster, the refrigerator gives new meaning to the word 'empty.'

Buddy: [Buddy throws his slice of pizza onto his plate] Hey, don't worry about breakfast. This stuff tastes great cold.

Terry: You agreed to do half the shopping around here while Mom and Dad were gone.

Buddy: Yeah, that's right, the second half.

[Buddy volunteers to do the dishes after him and Terry eat pizza]

Buddy: I'll tell you what, I'll do the dishes.

Buddy: [Buddy taps the food off his plate into the trash, putting the plate back on the shelf] Thank you.

Buddy: [Buddy taps the food off Terry's plate as he holds the plate up like a mirror, smiling] I can see myself.

[Buddy tries to lie to Kevin to get him out of the house so Buddy can have some alone time with Linda]

Buddy: Hold it! It's time Kevin knew the truth. Terry moved to Oregon to join a religious cult that she saw on '60 Minutes.'

Buddy: [Buddy begins to fake a cry] It's all in the letter. You should go home and wait for it, Kevin.

[Buddy finally propositions Linda with sex]

Linda: Why are you smiling like that?

Buddy: [Buddy jumps to his feet] 'Cause it's party time! Let's dance. Let's get crazy. Let's get drunk. Let's get naked.

Linda: Buddy, I love a good party, but something about you worries me.

Buddy: Linda, you're a nut. What do you like, skinny dip in the pool? Back rub in the bedroom? Pick a sin. Any sin!

[Buddy asks Linda one final question before she walks out the front door]

Buddy: Linda, wait. Would it make any difference if I was hung like a bear?

Linda: It might. Are you?

Buddy: No. Just checking.

[after Buddy is rejected by Linda he looks down at his jeans at the end of the night]

Buddy: [Buddy sighs] Sorry, Spike.

[Buddy holds the hand of a girl in the cafeteria]

Buddy: Can I be totally honest with you? Your touch is the reason why I went through puberty.

[Buddy makes a comment to Greg Tolan after he's embarrassed in the cafeteria]

Buddy: Uh, you've got some pudding on your shoes.

[as Greg looks down Buddy runs off]

[Buddy hits on Denise who's trying to leave his house]

Buddy: Hey, Denise. What's your rush? We're young. We're wild. Let's be young and wild together.

Denise: I'd rather get the phone book and pick a name at random.

[Buddy makes a sexual attempt to get in Sandy's pants]

Sandy: Where's Terry?

Buddy: Gone. This isn't the first time that that androgynous sleaze bucket has broken a beautiful girl's heart.

Sandy: I am so embarrassed.

Buddy: Why? The room is full of naked women.

Buddy: [Buddy starts unbuttoning his shirt] Wait. Would you feel more comfortable if I took my shirt off?

Buddy: [Buddy smiles to himself as Sandy leaves] What a nice girl.

[Buddy asks Terry if she broke up with Kevin on the phone]

Buddy: Mr. Wonderful is Mr. History?

Buddy: [Terry smiles in agreement, as Buddy smiles] All right!

[Kevin shows up to Terry's house when he speaks to Buddy alone]

Kevin: All right, where is she?

Buddy: It's that darn cult again. They have her totally brainwashed. Want to split her records?

Kevin: [Kevin holds Buddy up to the wall] Look, you can tell me now, or you can tell me in the hospital!

Buddy: I'm suddenly remembering.

[Buddy parks Terry's car up on the curb and talks to a girl walking by]

Buddy: Don't worry. I'm a stunt driver. I do this for a living.

[Buddy is late to pick up Terry from work]

Terry: Swift parking job, Bud, and you're late.

Buddy: Yeah, I ran out of gas, but don't worry, I put a buck's worth in...

Buddy: [Buddy smiles] On me.

Buddy: Take off your clothes, I have a relaxing technique I want to show you, it will be good for you.

David: You wanna see me naked Buddy?

Buddy: Are you a homophobe Dave?

David: No, I'm a pulling-out-my-penis-in-front-of-you-aphobe.

Buddy: [to Jovi] I think you're really beautiful and I feel really warm when I'm around you and my tongue swells up.

[pause]

Buddy: So... do you wanna eat food?

Buddy: [whispering to the department store Santa] You sit on a throne of lies!

Buddy: Who the heck are you?

Gimbel's Santa: What are you talkin' about? I'm Santa Claus.

Buddy: No, you're not.

Gimbel's Santa: Uh, why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?

Gimbel's Santa: Um, Happy Birthday of course. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. How old are you son?

Kid with Santa: Four.

Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?

Kid with Santa: Paul.

Gimbel's Santa: Now what can I get you for Christmas?

Buddy: Don't tell him what you want, he's a liar.

Gimbel's Santa: Let the kid talk.

Buddy: You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?

Gimbel's Santa: Just cool it, Zippy.

Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.

Gimbel's Santa: Look, I'm not kiddin'.

Buddy: You're a fake.

Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?

Buddy: Yes!

Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead, huh? Ho, ho, just kidding.

Buddy: You stink.

Gimbel's Santa: I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.

Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa.

Walter: [whispering] I think we should call security.

Deb: [whispering] Good idea.

Buddy: [whispering] I like to whisper too!

Buddy: [thinking Miles is an elf] Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here?

Miles Finch: Hey, jackweed, I get more action in a week than you've had in your entire life. I've got houses in L.A., Paris and Vail. In each one, a 70 inch plasma screen. So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face before I come over there and SMACK it off! You feeling strong, my friend? Call me elf one more time.

Buddy: [after a pause] He's an angry elf.

[Miles promptly attacks him]

Buddy: Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.

Jovie: No way.

Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.

Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.

Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.

Jovie: I *can* sing, I just choose *not* to sing. Especially in front of other people.

Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.

Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.

Buddy: No there's not. Wait...

[Starts singing loud and off-key]

Buddy: I'm singing/I'm in a store/and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!/I'm in a store/and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!

Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!

Buddy: Yes there is!

Gimbel's Manager: No there's not!

Buddy: We sing all the time!

Gimbel's Manager: No you don't!

Buddy: Especially when we build toys!

[Back to Jovie]

Buddy: See?

Buddy: SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA'S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!

Buddy: [out of breath from chasing Michael] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?...

Michael: Go away !

Santa: I've been to New York thousands of times.

Buddy: Really?

Santa: Mm-hmm.

Buddy: What's it like?

Santa: Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn't free candy.

Buddy: Oh.

Santa: Second, there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show", that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.

Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.

Buddy: [as he is hit by a snowball] SON of a NUTcracker!

Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?

Buddy: I heard you singing.

Jovie: Are you sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked in the shower?

Buddy: I didn't know you were naked.

Buddy: [phone rings, Buddy picks it up] Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?

Buddy: I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.

Buddy: Francisco! That's fun to say! Francisco... Frannncisco... Franciscooo...

Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?

Buddy: I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite

Buddy: [burps loud and long] Did you hear that?

Michael: You are so weird.

[excitedly enters a shop with neon sign: World's Best Cup of Coffee]

Buddy: You did it! Congratulations! "World's Best Cup of Coffee."Great job, everybody. It's great to meet you.

Leon the Snowman: Why the long face, Buddy?

Buddy: It seems I'm not an elf.

Leon the Snowman: Of course you're not an elf. You're six-foot-three and had a beard since you were fifteen.

[Buddy sees the mail room for the first time]

Buddy: This place reminds me of Santa's Workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.

Walter: Who sent this Christmas Gram?

Buddy: What's a Christmas Gram? I want one!

Buddy: You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa.

Buddy: Have you seen these toilets? They're GINORMOUS!

Buddy: [reading the note he left on the etch-a-sketch] "I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR."

Buddy: Deb, you have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card!

Deb: Oh, you just made my day!

Emily: So, Buddy, how'd you sleep?

Buddy: Great! I got a full 40 minutes!

Puffin: Hey Buddy wanna pick some snowberries?

Buddy: Not now Arctic Puffin!

Buddy: Hi!

Deb: Hi!

Buddy: Do you remember me?

Deb: I do! I didn't recognize you!

Buddy: I know I'm in work clothes!

Buddy: It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture.

Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Buddy: [to man on elevator] Oh, I forgot to give you a hug.

Buddy: Reach out in front of you and take a sip. Don't look.

[Jovie sips the coffee and makes a yuck face]

Buddy: Well?

Jovie: It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee.

[Buddy chuckles as she removes the blindfold]

Jovie: It IS a crappy cup of coffee.

Buddy: No, it's the world's BEST cup of coffee.

Buddy: First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.

Buddy: Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop!

Buddy: What about santa's cookies? I suppose parents eat those too?

[Being beaten up by a dwarf he thinks is an elf]

Buddy: He's an *angry* elf!

Buddy: [quickly, and high pitched] i love you. i love you! I LOVE YOU!

Ming Ming: It's alright, Buddy. Just how many Etch-A-Sketches did you get finished?

[Buddy is silent]

Ming Ming: Come on, Buddy, how many?

Buddy: I made, uh... 85.

[elves stop working, stare in surprise]

Ming Ming: [observes elves, turns back to Buddy] 85? That puts you... 915 off the pace.

[shrugs]

Buddy: Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy-maker in the world. I'm a Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins!

Gimbel's Manager: [showing Buddy around the floor] This, is the North Pole.

Buddy: No it isn't.

Gimbel's Manager: Yes it is.

Buddy: No it isn't.

Gimbel's Manager: Yes it is!

Buddy: No it's not. Where's the snow?

Emily: [tries some of Buddy's spaghetti with syrup] Oh, that's good.

Buddy: Good?

Emily: Good.

Buddy: Good!

Emily: You like sugar, huh?

Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?

Emily: Yes.

Buddy: Then YES!

Buddy: I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.

Santa: That's another thing... Buddy you should know that your father... he's on the naughty list.

Buddy: Nooooo!

Buddy: [to the doctor] Can I listen to your necklace?

Miles Finch: [Buddy has just innocently called Miles an 'elf' because of his stature, and Miles is clearly very offended, and daring him] Call me an elf.

Buddy: You're an elf!

[Miles attacks Buddy]

Buddy: Good news! I saw a dog today!

Buddy: [after getting beat up by Miles Finch] He must be a South Pole elf.

Buddy: My finger has a heartbeat.

[Buddy burps loudly]

Buddy: Did you hear that?

[Buddy is pressing the elevator buttons at the same time]

Buddy: It looks like a Christmas tree.

Leon the Snowman: By the way don't eat the yellow snow.

Buddy: Oh, I know that.

Buddy: [to the racoon] Does somebody need a hug?

Gimbel's Manager: There's no singing in the North Pole.

Buddy: Yes there is.

Walter: What do you want? Some money?

Buddy: No! I just wanted to meet you and thought maybe you might want to meet me.

Walter: Who wouldn't wanna meet you?

Buddy: [after getting off an elevator with a man] Oh, I forgot to give you a hug!

Mr. Narwhal: Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad.

Buddy: Thanks, Mr. Narwhal.

Buddy: Your costume is pretty.

Carolyn: Oh, it's not a costume. I'm an elf. Well, technically, I'm a human, but I was raised by elves.

Buddy: Oh. I'm a human... raised by humans.

Buddy: That's shocking!

Buddy: Sorry, sorry. I think your car is pretty.

Buddy: I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.

Walter: [Buddy had just caused Walter to lose a client] You get the hell out of here.

Buddy: Where do you want me to go?

Walter: I don't care where you go. I don't care that you're an elf! I don't care that you're nuts! I don't care that you're my son! Get out of my life! Now!

Buddy: So, how'd you get here?

Mailroom Guy: Work release.

Buddy: Mm...

[Mailroom Guy pours liquor, which Buddy mistakes for maple syrup, into his coffee]

Buddy: Oh, syrup and coffee? Why didn't I think of that - can I try some?

Mailroom Guy: Be my guest.

Buddy: Very generous of you. Mm...

[Buddy empties the whole bottle into his coffee, to Mailroom Guy's bewilderment]

Buddy: I love syrup. Oh, love it.

Pom Pom: You don't look so good, Buddy, are you okay?

Buddy: [dazed] I'll be okay, I just need a glass of water...

[Buddy falls forward in a faint]

Pom Pom: Ahhhhhh!

[Buddy passes out on top of Pom Pom]

Pom Pom: [muffled] Buddy? Buddy!

Buddy: I'm sorry that I ruined your lives and crammed eleven cookies in the VCR. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. I'll never forget you. Love, Buddy.

[Sherman is serenading Denise with the assistance of a crap Mexican band]

Sherman: Denise will you...

Buddy: Hey Sherman. You hear me Sherman?

Sherman: ...Denise will ya? Will ya? Let me come up there and put my beef in your taco?

Mexican band: [singing] Put his beef in your taco!

Denise: What?

Sherman: [Buddy cackles, Sherman's conscious comes back] Oh, no! No, no, no...

[chuckles]

Sherman: That's not what I meant to say, Denise! That was just a little joke! I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out and get some Mexican food. That's why I said that.

Denise: Well I am kind of hungry, but I'm not-...

Sherman: Yeah, you are huh? Yeah, I bet you could stand for a big ol' whopper right now, huh?

Mexican band: [singing] A big ole whopper right now!

Denise's Nosy Neighbor: You're sick!

Sherman: Yeah, I got to tell you, I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself, if you know what I mean. Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce! Yeah, come on!

[Sherman does a perverted dance in front of a shocked Denise, and falls to the ground, sexually humping it]

Sherman: Bang that thing up! Yeah, come on! Come on! Make it funky!

Denise's Nosy Neighbor: You're gonna ruin my lawn, you pervert!

Joe: Do you believe this man asking whether my Theresa would fool around?

Buddy: I find it hard to imagine your wife sleeping with YOU.

Buddy: Life is not a movie. Good guys lose, everybody lies, and love... does not conquer all.

Buddy: Look, I can appreciate this. I was young too, I felt just like you. Hated authority, hated all my bosses, thought they were full of shit. Look, it's like they say, if you're not a rebel by the age of 20, you got no heart, but if you haven't turned establishment by 30, you've got no brains. Because there are no story-book romances, no fairy-tale endings. So before you run out and change the world, ask yourself, "What do you really want?"

Buddy: If they can't start a meeting without you, well, that's a meeting worth going to, isn't it? And that's the only kind of meeting you should ever concern yourselves with.

Buddy: You're happy. I hate that!

Buddy: Before you go out and change the world, you have to ask yourself, "What do you really want?"

Buddy: What, your job is unfair to you? Grow up, way it goes. People use you? Life's unfair? Grow up, way it goes. Your girlfriend doesn't love you? Tough shit, way it goes. Your wife gets raped and shot, and they leave their unfinished beers...

[He begins to weep]

Buddy: ... their... their stinking longnecks just lying there on the gr - So be it. Way it goes.

Buddy: What I am concerned with is detail. I asked you go get me a packet of Sweet-N-Low. You bring me back Equal. That isn't what I asked for. That isn't what I wanted. That isn't what I needed and that shit isn't going to work around here.

Guy: I, I just thought...

Buddy: You thought. Do me a fucking favor. Shut up, listen, and learn. Look, I know that this is your first day and you don't really know how things work around here, so I will tell you. You have no brain. No judgement calls are necessary. What you think means nothing. What you feel means nothing. You are here for me. You are here to protect my interests and to serve my needs. So, while it may look like a little thing to you, when I ask for a packet of Sweet-N-Low, that's what I want. And it's your responsibility to see that I get what I want.

Buddy: You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn't bother flushing it. My bathmat means more to me than you!

Buddy: This is the only way that you can hope to survive. Because life... is not a movie. Everyone lies. Good guys lose. And love... does not conquer all.

Buddy: Get me packed up, I gotta get to services.

Guy: What services? Who died?

Buddy: No one... yet. It's Yom Kippur, you idiot.

Guy: Oh, I didn't realize Ackerman was a Jewish name.

Buddy: It's Jewish enough, especially when the big players are involved. Besides, I have a sudden need to atone for my sins.

[chuckles]

Buddy: And now try to follow me, because I'm gonna be moving in a kind of circular motion, so if you pay attention, there will be a point!

Buddy: And when you're done with her, west lobby, tube dress, stiletto heels, hurry. Fetch!

Buddy: I told you, it's gotta be loud loud loud! The audience should feel their balls tremble, their ears should bleed!

Buddy: Loud and nasty, that's the only way it sticks, Dawn.

[On the phone]

Buddy: Say this one time with me: "Would you like that in a pump or a loafer?"... Good. Now memorize it, because starting tomorrow, the only job that you're going to be able to get is selling SHOES!

Buddy: No offense to you, but you are just an assistant. Now, granted, you're MY assistant, but still just an assistant. Dawn, on the other hand, is a producer. Her car phone bills are more than your rent. So, just how far do you think you'll get?

Buddy: Avoid women directors. They ovulate. Do you have any idea what that does to an three month shoot?

Buddy: You wanna talk big directors? Think Attenborough, think Spielberg, think Lean.

Guy: Lean's dead.

Buddy: No he's not, don't you ever say that. He's just unavailable.

Buddy: Oh, really? Well, what are we supposed to think? A young, eager producer comes up to the house of a top executive for a midnight rendezvous? She's right, Guy, it's not what you think. She's definitely not selling Girl Scout cookies!

Guy: I've handled the phones, I've juggled the bimbos, I, I've put up with the tyrants, the yellers, the screamers. I've done more than you can even imagine in that small mind of yours. I paid my dues!

Guy: I didn't spend *one year*...

Buddy: and I spent ten!

Buddy: Once you get past the "oops, he caught us" stage and realize we're both fucked, let me know, okay?

Buddy: Out here, it's kill your parents, fuck your friends, and have a nice day.

Buddy: I tell you what to think and when to think!

Poet: Don't tell me anything man, I'm not a member of your private army.

Buddy: Well then Get out!

Poet: I don't need you, and I don't need your rules or your uniform man.

Shill: You're a rat! You're a rat! A beautiful rat!

Buddy: The King rat, baby!

Buddy: You're not polite!

Buddy: I want my "Spidey."

Buddy: You're the soul of this town, Ms Wilson, and you just need to keep doing what you are doing.

Buddy: You have to tell me, and you have to tell me now.

Annie: I'll tell you, hun.

Buddy: If I look into a blue diamond, and I think a negative thought, am I gonna die?

Annie: No, you're not gonna die. You're not gonna die, Buddy.

Annie: Buddy, you gotta find out, hun, why you hate him so much.

Buddy: My daddy's a good man. I don't hate my dad. He was good to Mom and me. Yeah, every kid needs a hit with a belt, sometime... I mean...

Annie: Buddy, you got to try to get past this wall that you're talking about. Hun, you need to talk about your daddy.

Buddy: Why don't you tell me why I hate him. You're the good damn psychic! Huh? You're the good damn psychic!

Donnie: Buddy, you better mind your own business.

Buddy: I intend to, Donnie.

Donnie: Mother fucker! God damn it! Fuck! Mother fucker!

[points a gun at him]

Buddy: Shoot me! Shoot me! Shoot me, you mother fucker! Shoot me! Shoot me!

Buddy: Something's bad wrong with me, and I keep thinking about that blue diamond.

Buddy: Sometimes I don't know the difference between my head and my soul.

Buddy: [to Annie] For all what you done for me, I just think the world of you. You're about the only one I call a friend to me.

Lewellen: What's that from?

Buddy: What?

Lewellen: That big ole bruise you got there.

Buddy: Nothin'.

Lewellen: I got one, too.

Buddy: Where?

Lewellen: Right here. My daddy did it.

Buddy: My daddy don't hit me!

Lewellen: Does so.

Buddy: Does not, you liar!

Lewellen: I'm gonna kill my daddy one day.

Buddy: Are not.

Lewellen: Am too! I'll kill your daddy too, if you want.

Buddy: You can't tell nobody I can't swim.

Lewellen: I won't.

Buddy: You gotta promise.

Lewellen: I promise.

Buddy: And you can't tell nobody you rescued me.

Lewellen: I won't. Hey, I'll teach you how to swim, okay?

Buddy: And how to dance like Elvis?

Lewellen: Yeah, and sing.

Buddy: Can I come?

Lewellen: Yeah, we're goin' together.

Buddy: No, I mean if Elvis takes you with him.

Lewellen: Guess what!

Buddy: What?

Lewellen: I saw Elvis!

Buddy: Did not.

Lewellen: Did! And he blew me a kiss!

Buddy: You're a liar.

Lewellen: Am not!

Buddy: Are!

Lewellen: Am not, you stupid!

Buddy: Well, can you meet me on the bank?

Lewellen: No, I can't. I gotta finish this for Grammie.

Buddy: Just for a little?

Lewellen: No, I can't. I gotta do this.

Buddy: What is it?

Lewellen: Makin' jelly.

Buddy: What about tomorrow?

Lewellen: Well, I don't know. I gotta get ready for Elvis. My Grammie's comin'. You better scoot.

Lewellen: [crying] I ain't got no money. I can't go see Elvis.

Buddy: Get it from your dad, can't you?

Lewellen: He ain't got no money, either. I can't go see Elvis.

Buddy: Don't worry. We'll get the money someways. I'll get the money, I promise! Just don't cry no more, please? Lewellen, please, just don't cry.

Grasshopper: Hey there, you girl and boy! What were you doin' back there?

Lewellen: Nothin'.

Grasshopper: I saw you. You were stealin'. Do you confess to me that you were stealin'?

Lewellen: Yes.

Grasshopper: Mam.

Lewellen: Yes, mam.

Grasshopper: My grandmother and my grandfather said that while I'm here stayin' with them, I am not to play with you. But I've decided I will play with you. My name is Gwendolyn, but you may call me Grasshopper.

Lewellen, Buddy: [laughing] Grasshopper?

Grasshopper: What can you do?

Buddy: She can do Elvis.

Grasshopper: Show me.

Lewellen: [singing] Well, if your baby leaves you and you need a place to dwell, go down to the end of lonely street at heartbreak hotel.

Lewellen: Oh my God, you scared me! What are you doin' here?

Buddy: I told him to meet us here. He wants to see you do your Elvis dance. I told him you'd do your Elvis dance for him.

Lewellen: Oh. Well, do you have my ticket?

[Wooden's Boy holds up two tickets. Lewellen reaches for them, but he pulls them away]

Buddy: You have to do your Elvis dance first.

Lewellen: Why?

Buddy: That was the deal. He said he'd get the tickets if you did your Elvis dance.

Wooden's Boy: Do the one you did that mornin'.

Lewellen: Hound dog?

Wooden's Boy: Yeah.

Lewellen: [singing] You ain't nothin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time. You ain't never caught a rabbit, and you ain't no friend of mine.

Buddy: [first lines - gawking up at the trees] Wow.

Lewellen: I told ya... So let me see.

Buddy: You said I get a kiss.

Lewellen: No, you gotta show me first.

Buddy: Charles says you give him a kiss for nothing.

Lewellen: Charles is a liar. He showed me his thing, he did.

Buddy: I want my kiss first.

Lewellen: No, you gotta show me first.

Buddy: Maybe you won't give me my kiss then.

Lewellen: Sure I will. Come on now, show.

Buddy: [finally pulls his trousers down]

Lewellen: No stupid, you gotta take 'em all the way off.

Buddy: No, I won't!

Lewellen: Well then, I won't kiss ya.

Buddy: Guess what I heard?

Lewellen: What?

Buddy: Guess!

Lewellen: No, tell me.

Buddy: I heard Elvis is comin' to town.

Lewellen: Elvis is comin' to town?

Richie: You hear the whistle?

Buddy: Yeah. Ready to kick some ass!

[Joey and Turkey run by them]

Richie: Hey, Hey Joey! Who we fighting?

Joey: The Baldies!

Richie: The Baldies? Oh, shit!

Turkey: Hey, look listen to me, I call my friends in the Baldies.

[small scuffle]

Turkey: NO, those Guys Like Me! If we call'em I think they'll come in with us. With them in, you know, it's all over.

Richie: Listen, I ain't callin' those guys Turkey, I got my pride.

Buddy: Yeah, sometimes all you got is pride. You got to hold your head up high. You know, I seen this movie once where this guy was being tortured by the Japs. But he wouldn't give them any information. Every time they tortured him, he started singing the Star Spangled Banner.

Joey: WOW, what happened?

Buddy: They killed him.

Richie: Shut-Up, will yuh' Buddy! You're depressing me.

Ray: [showing photos] Do you know her?

Buddy: Sissy. Hope she's nothin' to you.

Ray: She's my wife.

Buddy: Figures. Did she run off and leave you?

Ray: No.

Buddy: Well, give it time.

Ray: Is that what she did to you?

Buddy: She did things to me I can't even pronounce.

Felix Bush: What did everybody say about what happened in town? That crazy son of a bitch tried to kill a man for no reason, is that it?

Buddy: There's two sides to every story.

Felix Bush: People say that but they don't believe it, no, sir. They think what they think, and they don't wanna know anything else.

Buddy: I also think that people are so scared about what they don't know that they make things up to feel better about it.

Felix Bush: Like life after dying, you know. Heaven.

Buddy: I also hope that part's true, don't you?

Felix Bush: I don't think we know the actual truth about anything.

Buddy: I know I don't. I'm just guessing most of the time.

Buddy: [finding him in the barn] What are you doing, sir?

Felix Bush: Getting me a suntan.

Frank Quinn: You've been wanting a shot at sales. As of right now, you're on commission. Remember - foot in the door, establish trust, and drop the hammer.

Buddy: I'd rather you go too.

Frank Quinn: No doubt. But if you don't do this by yourself, you'll never know if you're any good. And you'll never be good if you don't know that you are.

Rev. Charlie Jackson: Did you know he built this church?

Buddy: No. How can a man like that build something like this?

Buddy: I'm glad you decided to come, sir.

Rev. Charlie Jackson: Free will is not all that it's cracked up to be.

Frank Quinn: [Felix is about to get a haircut and a shave]

[to Barber]

Frank Quinn: I wish you wouldn't do that yet.

[to Felix]

Frank Quinn: Mr. Bush, you can cut all the hairs you want after we've taken your picture. I'll pay for it.

Felix Bush: Why you want my picture made?

Buddy: We want to run an ad in some papers about your party. Hang some posters up of you.

Felix Bush: You want me to look like this?

Frank Quinn: Yes.

Felix Bush: Why?

Frank Quinn: Why?

[pauses]

Buddy: Well, it's how people recognize you, sir.

Frank Quinn: And you want as many people to come as possible. So...

Felix Bush: So... crazy nutter draws more, hm?

Frank Quinn: [pauses] Don't you think?

Felix Bush: Oh.

[Get's out of barber chair and leaves]

Buddy: Everybody has a wicked side, Rose

Rose: There ain't none in your daddy.

Buddy: Curiosity killed the cat.

Rose: It's satisfaction that kill it.

Dude-Guy: Talkin' about Africa don't make you more black.

Bro: I was just drawing a parallel.

Dude-Guy: OH, now you're drawin'? You an artist, too? Is that your major?

Bro: No, it's Linguistics. What's yours?

Dude-Guy: Gun Repair. It's a certificate course.

[Buddy snickers]

Dude-Guy: HEY! Some people like to shoot heroin - personally, I prefer cocaine - but I DO like to shoot guns.

Buddy: And someday, you'll have your very own certificate that says you're qualified to repair them, too.

Buddy: It ain't the gun that stops us. Huh? We're just chicken shit. See? The lights are on... but nobody's home. Am I right?