Budd Quotes in Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

Budd: That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.

Bill: You hocked a Hattori Hanzo Sword?

Budd: Yep.

Bill: It was priceless.

Budd: Well, not in El Paso, it ain't. In El Paso I got me $250 for it.

Elle Driver: [into a phone] Bill?

Budd: [into a phone] Wrong brother, you hateful bitch.

Elle Driver: Budd?

Budd: Bingo!

Elle Driver: And to what do I owe this dubious pleasure?

Budd: I just caught me a cowgirl that ain't never been caught.

Elle Driver: Did you kill her?

Budd: Well, not yet I ain't. I shot her full of rock salt. She's so gentle right now, I could perform her coup-de-grace with a rock. Anyhoo, guess what I'm holding in my hand right now.

Elle Driver: What?

Budd: A brand spankin' new Hattori Hanzo sword. And I'm here to tell you, Elle... that's what I call sharp.

Elle Driver: How much?

Budd: Well, that's hard to say, being that it's priceless and all.

Elle Driver: What's the terms?

Budd: Get your bony ass down here in the morning, with a million dollars in folding cash, and I'll give you the greatest sword ever made by man. How do you like the sound of that?

Elle Driver: Sounds like we got a deal. One condition.

Budd: What?

Elle Driver: She must suffer to her last breath.

Budd: Well, that little darlin', I can pretty much damn well guarantee.

Elle Driver: Then I'll see you in the morning... millionaire.

Budd: Looky here, bitch, this is a can of Mace. Now, you're going underground tonight, and that's all there is to it. But, when I bury you, I was gonna bury you with this.

Budd: [holds up a flashlight alongside the can of Mace]

Budd: But if you're gonna act like a horse's ass, I'll spray this whole goddamn can... RIGHT IN YOUR EYEBALLS!

Budd: [holds can of Mace right in front the Bride's right eye]

Budd: I'll burn 'em out of your fuckin' head. Then you'll be blind, burnin', and buried alive. So what's it gonna be, sister?

The Bride: [settles down and nods toward the flashlight]

Budd: That's a wise decision.

Bill: Anyhow, they all fell under her Hanzo sword.

Budd: She's got a Hanzo sword?

Bill: He made one for her.

Budd: Didn't he swear a blood oath to never make another sword?

Bill: It would appear he has broken it.

Budd: Them Japs sure know how to hold a grudge.

[laughs]

Budd: Or maybe... you just tend to bring that out in people.

Budd: Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.

Budd: You gotta hand it to the old girl. I never saw nobody buffalo Bill the way she buffaloed Bill. Bill used to think she was so damn smart. I tried to tell him... "Bill, she's just smart for a blonde."

Budd: Larry, there ain't nobody out there!

Larry Gomez: [strung-out tone] "There ain't nobody out there... Larry." What's your point? That you're not needed here?

Budd: My point is, I'm the bouncer... and there ain't nobody out there to bounce!

Larry Gomez: You're saying that the reason... that you're not doing the job... that I'm... paying you to do... is, that you don't have a job to do? Is that what you're saying? What are you trying to convince me of, exactly? That you're as useless as an asshole right here? Well guess what, Buddy. I think, you just fucking convinced me!

Budd: I'm a bouncer in a titty bar, Bill. If she wants to fight me, all she gotta do is come down to the Club, start some shit, and we'll be in a fight.

Bill: I know we haven't spoken in some time. And the last time we spoke wasn't the most pleasant. But you've to got to get over being mad at me and start becoming afraid of

[beep]

Bill: because she is coming, and she is coming to kill you. And unless you accept my assistance, I have no doubt she will succeed.

Budd: I don't dodge guilt, and I don't Jew out of paying my comeuppance.

Bill: Can't we just... forget the past?

Budd: That woman, deserves her revenge and... we deserve to die. But then again, so does she. So, I guess we'll just see. Won't we?

Budd: That gentled ya down some. Ain't nobody a badass with a double dose of rock salt that deep in their tits. Not havin tits as fine or big as yours, I can't even imagine how bad that shit must sting... yet I don't want to, neither.

[the Bride spits blood into Budd's face. He wipes it away and returns the favor with a long, foul stream of tobacco juice]

Budd: I win.

Elle Driver: Bill tells me you had a Hanzo sword once.

Budd: Yeah.

Elle Driver: [examining the Bride's sword] How does this one compare to that one?

Budd: If you're gonna compare a Hanzo sword, you compare it to every other sword ever made... that wasn't made by Hattori Hanzo.

Jay: You're late again. Budd, can't you tell time?

Budd: There ain't nobody in here, man.

Larry Gomez: [voice; offscreen] Hey, Jay! Is Budd out there?

Jay: [yells] Yeah.

Larry Gomez: Tell him to get his fucking ass in here!

Jay: Okay!

[to Budd]

Jay: Budd, Larry'd like a word with you.

Budd: You're telling me she cut through eighty-eight bodyguards before she got to O-Ren?

Bill: Nah, there weren't really eighty-eight of them. They just called themselves "The Crazy 88."

Budd: How come?

Bill: I don't know. I guess they thought it sounded cool.

Budd: This is for breaking my brother's heart.

Budd: So, which "R" you filled with?

Elle Driver: What?

Budd: They say the number one killer of old people is retirement. People got 'em a job to do, they tend to live a little longer so they can do it. I've always figured warriors and their enemies share the same relationship. So, now you ain't gonna hafta face your enemy on the battlefield no more, which "R" are you filled with: Relief or Regret?

Elle Driver: A little bit of both.

Budd: Bullshit. I'm sure you do feel a little bit of both. But I know damn well you feel one more than you feel the other. The question was, which one?

Elle Driver: Regret.

Larry Gomez: The hat. That fucking hat. How many times did I tell you not to wear that fucking hat?

Budd: Customers wear hats.

Larry Gomez: I'm not the boss of the customers, but I'm the boss of you, and I'm telling you to keep that shit kicker hat at home.

Budd: Happy Halloween.

Karen: Budd, you are the biggest jerk I have ever met.

Budd: But you love me...

Karen: Yeah, and I'm an idiot.

Budd: [singing] Amazing Grace, come sit on my face / Don't make cry / I need your pie...

Jimmy: Look why don't you just shut up, all right?

Jimmy: Jill, where's Dr. Mixter?

Jill: Ah, he's been at the country club. I think he's drunk.

Budd: Oh, great!