Buck Laughlin Quotes in Best in Show (2000)

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Buck Laughlin Quotes:

  • Buck Laughlin: Doctor, question that's always bothered me and a lot of people: Mayflower, combined with Philadelphia - a no-brainer, right? Cause this is where the Mayflower landed. Not so. It turns out Columbus actually set foot somewhere down in the West Indies. Little known fact.

  • Buck Laughlin: And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten.

  • Buck Laughlin: Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor?

    Nurse: Uh, no.

    Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical!

  • Buck Laughlin: [after Beatrice the dog jumps up on the show judge] He went for her like she's made outta ham.

  • Buck Laughlin: Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?

  • Buck Laughlin: Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!

  • Buck Laughlin: [sees the trophy] I've taken a sponge bath in smaller bowls than that!

  • Buck Laughlin: [as the hound judge examines a Borzoi] Now that looks like a fast dog. Is that faster than a greyhound?

    Trevor Beckwith: Uhh... I can't really say...

    Buck Laughlin: If you put them in a race, who would come in first? You know if you had a little jockey on them, going like this

    [imitates jockeys hitting the side of the horse]

  • Buck Laughlin: I went to one of those obedience places once... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts.

  • Buck Laughlin: I'd hate to go on a date with Judge Edie Franklin and have her judge me, that'd be no fun.

  • Buck Laughlin: I don't think I could ever get used to being poked and prodded like that. I told my proctologist one time, "Why don't you take me out to dinner and a movie sometime?"

    Trevor Beckwith: Yes, I remember you said that last year.

  • Buck Laughlin: Am I nuts? Something's wrong with his feet.

    Trevor Beckwith: I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but you're right.

    Buck Laughlin: He's got two left feet! Man, go get'm pal.

  • Trevor Beckwith: [as Scott enters with Agnes the Shih Tzu] And now we have the toy, the Shih Tzu is coming, and here is, uh, Scott Donlan.

    Buck Laughlin: Look at Scott! He is prancing along with the dog! Man, I tell you something, if you live in my neighborhood and you're dressed like that, you'd better be a hotel doorman.

  • Buck Laughlin: [as the judge checks the back end of Cookie's dog] She's examining the Norwich now!

Browse more character quotes from Best in Show (2000)

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