Bryce Quotes in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

Bryce: So, time to save the universe again then, is it?

Lara Croft: Absolutely

Lara Croft: Was it programmed to stop before it took my head off?

Bryce: Ah well... that would be a... no.

Lara Croft: It's a clock... It's ticking.

Bryce: Oh... one of those ticking clocks, eh?

Bryce: What's that smell?

Lara Croft: Five AM

Bryce: Me bum's gone to sleep again, all down the left cheek.

Lara Croft: Really? That's fascinating.

Lara Croft: We have 83 rooms. Why can't you live in the house?

Bryce: Well, I'm a free spirit, me.

Bryce: Lara, it's a clock, it ticks, it tells the time.

[looks at his watch]

Bryce: It's wrong.

Bryce: [taking screws out of clock to open it] ... screw 13 to quadrant 3, screw 14 to quadrant 4...

Hilary: [sighs and rolls eyes] Please.

Bryce: It's my system! So I know where they all came from!

Lara Croft: It's camouflage.

[takes hammer and smashes the clock to pieces]

Bryce: [wincing] Okay.

Bryce: My ignorance amuses me... My ignorance amuses me?

Lara Croft: Yes well I've always found your ignorance quite amusing.

Bryce: This isn't a country, it's an ice cube!

Bryce: How are you going to get to Cambodia and get the clock back in... 15 hours?

Lara Croft: I'll be calling in a favor.

Hilary: What kind of favor?

Lara Croft: Well, that is a secret.If a told you, I'd have to kill you.

Jared: Remember I told you, if anything happened to Sam, I was gonna kill you?

Bryce: Oh, don't do that.

[Jared picks up a chair and throws it at the railing]

Bryce: Don't hit me with the fucking chair.

Bryce: The guy who owned this place got hit with 44 counts of racketeering and money laundering. Our firm represented him. This is how he floated the bill.

Jared: You gotta be kidding me.

Bryce: Boat problem? No problem. Boat and skis come with the crib.

Jared: We get the boat?

Bryce: You know how Daddy does it.

Jared: We get the boat?

Bryce: We get the boat.

Jared: We get the boat! We get the boat!

Bryce: Winners make the rules and losers live by them

Jared: So how long you know this one for?

Bryce: I don't know, about 14 hours now. Picked her up last night at The Mercer Club.

Amanda: Nuh-uh. I picked you up last night. Don't start lyin' already.

Bryce: Get out of the water. There are sharks everywhere, look.

Jared: Give me my mask and my fins real quick.

Bryce: You - No, you don't need a mask. There's a shark. I swear the God. He's big. He' looks like Jaws. Get out.

Jared: Yeah, I know, but I lost my watch.

Bryce: You lost - ? You need an arm to wear a watch. Would you get out of the water, stupid? Please?

Jared: Sam gave me this watch for my birthday.

Bryce: I don't care! Sam, get...

[Sam tosses to Jared his mask and fins]

Bryce: What are you doing?

Sam: He's fine. They're just curious.

Bryce: Oh, curious as to what? As to what? What his ass tastes like?

[last lines]

Bryce: I got the cheese!

Jared: What?

Bryce: I have the dough!

Bryce: I have gold!

Jared: You found the gold?

Bryce: The dough-re-mi!

Jared: What do you mean, you found the gold?

Bryce: Fa-so-la-ti-dough! Wow! Yeah!

Jared: No way, it's Mr. OG Wannabe.

Bryce: What's up, you scruffy little beach rat?

[guys start wrestling]

Bryce: Okay. I'm gonna throw your ass right now. Watch.

[they end up on the floor]

Jared: Go to sleep, go to sleep.

Bryce: Okay, okay. Allright.

Jared: You've been spending way too much time in court.

Bryce: Wait, hold on, hold on. Don't move for a second. Oh, that feels really good.

Jared: You sick-ass.

[they stand up]

Bryce: What's up?

Jared: Good to see you.

Bryce: Good to see you too, bro.

Jared: How's New York treating you?

Bryce: It's paying me. A lot of bad guys need defending, I defend them. That's what I do.

Jared: That's still a scary thougt.

Bryce: [Looking at Sam] Oh, my God. Can I get a what-what and a side of french fries, please? Look at that body. It's ridiculous. Holy shit. How much have you missed me?

Sam: Oh, every minute.

Bryce: Oh, my God, it's so tight too. It's like that everywhere, even. It's good to see you, Sam. You know, if we had met first, you and I, things would be a lot different around these parts, you know that.

Sam: Easy cheesy.

Jared: Anyway. Okay, so you must be Lisa?

Amanda: Who's Lisa?

Bryce: Yeah, who the hell is Lisa?

[mute]

Bryce: Amanda. Amanda.

Jared: Amanda.

Sam: Hi, Amanda. I'm Sam. Welcome to the Bahamas.

Amanda: Hi. Nice to meet you you, Sam.

Jared: I'm Jared. Sorry about that.

Amanda: I love the Caribbean. Too hot to wear shirts, too hot to wear pants and we're two hot young ladies.

Sam: You dive?

Amanda: Yeah, I can keep up.

Jared: So how long you known this one for?

Bryce: I don't know, about 14 hours now. Picked her up last night at The Mercer...

Amanda: [interupts Bryce] I picked you up last night. Don't start lying already.

Sam: So you and Bryce.

Bryce: I think I'm in love. Serious.

Bryce: [Looks at Jared]

[laughing]

Bryce: I'm not serious.

Bryce: Did you find anything?

Jared: Yeah.

Bryce: What did you find?

Jared: A plane.

Bryce: You- you mean like an airplane?

Jared: Yeah.

Bryce: That's odd.

Jared: He is not the guy you wanna pick a fight with.

Bryce: I didn't pick a fight, I didn't pick a fight.

Amanda: Yeah you didn't pick a fight... you just punched the guy.

Bryce: [swimming in the ocean] Come on, we have to find the cheese, the cheddar cheese, the old-gay-eddar-chay.

Sam: We found bodies. Don't you think we should tell someone?

Bryce: They're drug dealers, Sam. They're not missionaires flying care packages to starving kids in Africa, okay? Don't worry, their girlfriends will have new pimps before the milk in the refrigerator goes bad. It's fine.

Amanda: How many do you think are down there?

Bryce: Enough bricks to build a house, a multi-million dollar cocaine palace.

Bryce: sam, amanda, stop alright. we are all in this together now right?

Sam: not me. not anymore.

Amanda: bye

[waving motion]

Jared: [sam starts leaving, jared goes after her] sam, sam, sam...

Sam: see ya on the ten o' clock news

Jared: what?

Sam: you heard me.

Jared: come on, sam, come on, what are you doing?

Sam: what is wrong with you?, a week ago you had too much integrity to work for scubabob and now you are working for feaking drug dealers?

Jared: baby...

Sam: i believe in you more than in the prospect of any treasure.

Jared: if we do this, just this one time... and it's over, that's it.

Sam: it's already over.

[sam leaves]

Jared: no come on, what are you talking about?, sam come on!, sam come on!

Jared: [when there were sharks in the ocean] yeah i know, but i lost my watch...

Bryce: [when there were sharks in the ocean] jared: i lost my watch you lost...? you need an arm to wear a watch! would you get out of the water stupid!

Amanda: Loose lips, sink ships.

Bryce: That's right, baby. Loose lips do sink ships.

Terry Sheridan: I don't suppose either of you know how to fly a helicopter?

Bryce: I can.

Terry Sheridan: What?

Hillary: What...?

Bryce: Yeah. I've got over 150 hours between flight simulation games, models.

Terry Sheridan: And in the real thing?

Bryce: Two.

Terry Sheridan: Two? Well, you're only going to fly it once I'm out, so I hope you remember your two hours well.

[last lines]

[Bryce and Hillary are getting made over by tribes people]

Bryce: Lara, are you okay?

Hillary: Lara, you all right?

Lara Croft: [smiling] This is... very touching.

Bryce: You know us, always making friends... having a laugh.

Lara Croft: Getting married.

Bryce: What?

Kosa: This is a wedding ceremony and you are the grooms.

Lara Croft: Good luck, boys.

[Starts handling his revolver]

Bryce: Say, do you have to play with that thing?

Gravedigger Jones: I'm insecure, Captain.

Anderson: You've got to understand Ed and Digger, sir.

Bryce: I understand those two, all right. Too quick with their fists. Too flip with their talk. Too fast with their guns. And too damn black maniacs on a powder keg.

Bryce: [Coffin Ed and Gravedigger let Joe get away] How do I tell headquarters that two of my men participated in a major gun battle while riding shotgun on one of the biggest narcotics shipments in history?... Do you know what that will do to my career?

Gravedigger Jones: Well, it ain't gonna do nothin' for our careers either, Captain.

The Geek: Very nice! We're five minutes in... I'm at a loss.

Bryce: Real smooth, Cliff.

Bryce: Ted, that's a Rolls-Royce.

Bryce: [He sees Caroline passed out in the car] Ted, that's the prom queen. You got two girls in one night.

The Geek: I told you dudes I was hot.

Bryce: Hot? You're a legend!

Bryce: Are you drunk?

Chazz: No, but this oughta do it

[smashes open a bottle of liquor and drinks]

Bryce: I'd fire you... if you weren't so goddamn beautiful out there.

[pause]

Bryce: You smell like urine.

Chazz: A lot?

Bryce: I only wanted to get laid, instead I'm getting fucked.

Bryce: She's sixteen. I mean, what 21-year-old carries around a fake ID saying she's 16? The girl downstairs is 16. Sixteen! I mean, it doesn't matter if she said no. It doesn't matter if she screamed yes, and had a notary public certify it; she's underage! It's statutory! If she presses charges, I will go to jail!

Nick: So I guess a second date's out of the question, then, huh?

Nick: You know, not everything in the world revolves around fucking.

Bryce: No, just most things.

Bryce: Well don't you know...

Roosevelt Stokes, Bryce, Webb, Lawrence, Harry 'Sweetbread' Crane: That's the sound of the men. Get back. Working on the chain... Ga-e-ang...

Bryce: Well don't you know...

Roosevelt Stokes, Bryce, Webb, Lawrence, Harry 'Sweetbread' Crane: That's the sound of the men. Get back. Working on the chain... gang...

Harry 'Sweetbread' Crane: And let me hear you say it...

Roosevelt Stokes, Bryce, Webb, Lawrence, Harry 'Sweetbread' Crane: Oooh... Ahhhh... Oooh... Ahhh...

Bryce: Well don't you know...

[song repeats a few more times]